


The Jealousy

by Danishartist



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Bottom Eren Yeager, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Endgame Ereri, Eremin - Freeform, Eventual Smut, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Gay Sex, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:45:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 79,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3091532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danishartist/pseuds/Danishartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren lives a peaceful life. He is strong, clever and has great friends and family. Though when it gets announced that Levi Ackerman - Eren's childhood enemy - will be moving into their house and live with Eren in his bedroom, suddenly Eren's whole life is turned upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mr. Teddy

_"Stop it!" I whined, like the little child I was._

_He had grabbed my teddy bear yet again, but this time he kept stomping on it, with no intentions to stop._

_"Cut it out!"_

_"Then stop being such a little bitch," He just answered, ending the fight by kicking the teddy to the other end of the room._

_I started to cry, as I crawled towards the wall to grab the toy. I hugged it, burying my face into the soft fabric._

_"You're such a girl," He said, before walking over to stand in front of me._

_"And you're a bully," I answered, not wanting to look at him. "Go away!"_

_"Why should I do anything you say? I'm older than you, brat. I am the one who makes the decisions,"_

_He squatted down to face me properly, and I lifted my head a tiny bit to look at him from the corner of my eyes._

_It was blurry though, since I was still crying._

_"Well, your decisions suck," I mumbled, resulting in him grabbing my hair and tilting my neck back._

_"Impressive language you have for a 7 year old little shit," He chuckled, but there was no laughter in his eyes. I was forced to look at him now, and I saw nothing but indifference in his eyes._

_I shivered. I felt cold just by looking at him._

_"Impressive how little your brain is, for a 9 year old," I almost pressed the words out through my gritted teeth, making my hands into fists._

_I could see how his jaw clenched, making me shiver in fear. He looked like he wanted to kill me.  
"You're damn lucky that your mother still checks for bruises on you," He said, his face getting closer to mine. "Or I would kick your sorry ass,"_

_He almost whispered it, and the sound of his voice made me push him away. The 2 years between us made the strength difference quite clear though._

_"But I won't touch a hair on you,"_

_He stood up, smiling down on me. I stayed pressed up against the wall, holding my teddy bear tight against my chest. I sighed in relief, even though his odd smile creeped me out._

_"But I can hurt you in other ways though,"_

_He moved so quickly, I didn't even realise that my teddy bear was out of my arms before he had walked away with it._

_"What? No, stop! Don't hurt Mr. Teddy!" I screamed, trying to stand up to get to him. I was too late, though._

_As if everything happened before my eyes in slow motion, I saw Levi turn around to face me. His hand had grabbed around the teddy's neck, ripping it off._

_I screamed out in agony, as I witnessed my most precious toy being torn apart in front of me._

 

"Eren, are you okay?"

I nodded quickly, turning my head to face Mikasa. She was sitting in front of me, with several books on the table between the both of us. We were studying in the library as always, and as always I never paid attention. Or no, I actually wanted to learn, but I somehow always ended up spacing out instead.

"Yeah, sorry about than. Where were we?"

"At question four. What is burn-beating and the difference between that and mechanised farming?"

I rubbed my forehead, shrugging my shoulders.

"Ahh … Umm … Burn-beating is when you burn the forest away before starting to work on the soil … And, umm … "

"And then you only work on it for 1-2 years, before moving onto the next piece of land,"

A voice from behind me supplied. A loud donk was heard when several books landed on the table.

Arms wrapped around my chest, and I felt a cold cheek pressed against mine for a second.

"Working hard, eh?"

Mikasa was still writing down what both of us had said, making time for me to move my head to the side to look him in the eyes.

"As always," I rolled my eyes to support the sarcasm in my tone. He just chuckled as an answer before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Are you done being cute and fluffy? I need this done today, Eren." Mikasa said irritated, hitting her pencil onto the table several times. Loudly.

"Sorry," The lovely boy behind me mumbled, before grabbing his books again. "I won't disturb you any more than necessary. I just wanted to remind you that you're coming over to my place tonight,"

"As if we could forget!" Mikasa rolled her eyes, but her face looked softer now. "You've been talking about your new room for weeks,"

"And now I finally get to show you. I'm so excited!" He chuckled, jumping up and down for a few seconds, clapping his hands.

I laughed, finding him absolutely adorable.

"Stop it, okay? The Library Lady will find you and ban you from here for a week!" I saw, sounding very serious. He stopped instantly, looked at me with horrified eyes.  
"Sorry," He whispered, clearly terrified by the thought.

"It's fine," I laughed by the result of his expression. "Just go home. We'll meet you at 6, okay?"

"Okay. See you later!"

He tried to wave while holding all the books with the other hand. Clearly it didn't go very well, resulting in him dropping several books on the floor. He quickly squatted down to pick them up again, and then running out before the Library Lady could come and ban him for making noises.

After waving back, my hand fell down to rest on the table, and I looked at Mikasa.

"Let's get this over with," I said with confidence, sending her a smile. She returned it with a small one, but at least it was one.

She had been so moody lately, something I couldn't really help but notice. I had already tried to figure out the answer, though there could be several things wrong.

The one thing I had believed to be the source though, was that she was annoyed by me and Armin.

We had only started dating a couple of weeks back, and she probably felt like a third wheel.

Probably.

\- - - - -

"Wauw, Armin, this looks great," I said, looking around the room. My comment came out a bit flat, making it sound unbelievable, so I quickly added "I like the colour,"

Armin had been so excited for us to see it, and I felt like his excitement had giving me too high expectations. The room was normal, just like anyone elses, yet he was acting like it was the greatest thing in the world.

It was bigger than the one he had had before, and all the colours of the walls was light blue. The floor was white as well as the ceiling, and the curtains was a darker shade of blue. His one size bed was in the corner, making room for his large desk and the huge bookcase that was filling a whole wall on the other side. It was all filled with books of course.

"It's really pretty, Armin," Mikasa said, placing herself in the chair at the desk. I kept went over to the bookcase where there was a shelf that wasn't filled with books. Instead there was 4 different photographs. The first one was with his family, the second with his grandfather, and the third was with me and Mikasa when we where younger. I smiled at the memory – that day we had been making christmas decorations, and all of our faces and hair was filled with glimmer. We looked rather cute, I acknowledged with a smile on my face.

Those were the days.

I grabbed the last photo in my hands, surprised. It was me and Armin, but I couldn't remember it being taken.

"When was this?" I asked confused, showing it to Armin who was standing at the bed. When he looked up, his face instantly flustered, and he quickly walked over there.

"Oh, that's … " He took it from my hand, staring at it intensively for a moment before putting it back. "A couple of days after we got together,"

"Oh,"

I looked at it again, noticing the details now. We were sitting in my sofa, me having an arm around Armins waist. He was looking at me with that look that just screamed how happy and in love he was.

I, on the other hand, were smiling.

Just smiling.

I looked at Armin, whose cheeks where still red from the blushing, and he was looking at me as well. Why didn't I reach that way, when I had seen it? Why hadn't I been looking so happy in that picture? Why had I just looked … Mediocre?

Armin noticed the odd expression on my face, resulting in him grabbing my hand.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I quickly smiled at him, after being torn from my thoughts.

"I'm fine. This place really is gorgeous," I stepped closer to him, and kissed him softly on the lips before pulling back again.

It was nice. That's all.

Nice.

My heart hadn't raced, my vision hadn't become blurry and I couldn't feel any butterflies in my stomach.

Yet, I liked the way his lips tasted. How I had to bend over to kiss him. How soft his hair was, when I slided my fingers through it. I liked his smell, and his joyish attitude towards everything. I liked his smile, and the wrinkles he got under his eyes when he did it. There was so much I liked about him.

I liked him. But was that enough?

I had never known true love. I had seen it on films, read about it in the books, but never really experienced it.

Was it love between me and Armin? Or was it just because we had both found out that we were gay, and then it had just been convenient?

No, I refused to believe that. I genuinely cared about Armin. I loved him.

I just didn't know if I loved him as a friend, or as my lover …

"Stop it, you're making me nauseous," Mikasa complained, and the moment was over.

Mikasa had driven us home in her car, and of course both mom and dad had been waiting for us. Just when I thought I would get a good night's sleep.

"Kids, we need to talk to you in the living room,"

I had shared a worried look with my sister, before we obediently when after our parents.

"What's up?"

We had placed ourselves on the one side of the dinner table, while our parents were sitting on the other side.

"There is going to be a little change on our family," Mom said, smiling at us, though it wasn't a happy smile.

I raised an eyebrow, not understanding what she meant.  
"Wait, are … " I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Are you guys getting divorced?"

Mom and dad shared a quick glare, before chuckling.

"No honey, of course not!"

Mom reached out a hand to grab mine tightly.

"Do you both remember Levi Ackerman?" Dad suddenly asked, with a grave tone. I nodded, as memories flooded inside my head.

The cruel, violent little boy who had terrorised me everytime his family and him had visited ours. My toys always ended up smashed in every single way possible, the one worse than the one before. My jaw clenched, when I remembered my most favored possesion, Mr. Teddy, being shredded to pieces. Luckily, that had been the last time I had seen him. It had been 9 years since then, since I was 16 now.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well … His dad went on a business trip to another country that's going to last for at least a year, and since he doesn't have any family left … Then we said that we would take him in,"

"What?!" I looked at them in shock. "You can't be serious? He's a horrible person! I hate him, I – "

"Eren, watch your mouth!" Dad yelled, hitting his fist against the table, silencing me. I still looked at them with anger burning in my eyes though.

"Levi isn't 18 yet, so until then he will be staying here. He will turn 18 in 4 months, but if he chooses to stay after that, he is more than welcome to do so," Dad had said it to both of us, but now his eyes focused on me only.

"And you will treat him with kindness and respect," He stood up, looking down at me still. "Is that clear?"

"Yes sir," I answered, almost whispering the words. I wanted to scream at him though, that Levi was supposed to be told that, that he should treat us with kindness and respect, and our things as well.

"That's good, because he's coming tomorrow, and since there is no other rooms avaliable … " Dad didn't say anything further, leaving it to me to figure out what he meant.

The realisation hit me within seconds.

"He is not sleeping in my room!" I yelled, standing up as well. "I won't accept this!"

"You will accept it, or you're not going to college!" Dad yelled as well, while the two females just stared at the dominance fight between us.

"THEN I WON'T GO!" I screamed, not even knowing fully what the words that were coming out of my mouth meant.

"Young man, you live under MY roof, eat MY food and sleep in the bed that I paid for! You will damn well accept this, or you will enjoy these things no more!"

I took a step back, pushing the chair behind me away.

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked him in absolute horror. "I'm your son, and you'll kick me out for some stupid, mean boy?"

Mom stood up this time, looking at me calmly.

"Levi has been through more than you know, darling. You need to give him a second chance,"

I didn't want to hear it. I turned around on my heel, and ran out of the room instantly.

"You come back here right this second, young man!"

I could hear the words behind me, but I didn't listen anymore. I climbed up the stairs until I reached my room, finally being able to throw myself down into my bed.

I couldn't believe that I wouldn't have this for myself anymore.

How was I ever going to live with that monster in my house?


	2. We Meet Again

I got up that morning, without even knowing what to expect.

I brushed my teeth, put on clothes, and then cleaned my room the best I could before going down into the kitchen. Everybody was already down there, giving the perfect timing for my mom to throw two newly-made pancakes on my plate.

"Goodmorning darling," Mom smiled at me her usual smile, while my father kept hiding his face behind his newspaper.

We ate in silence, and first after I had gotten apple juice from the kitchen, I started speaking.

"So when is he coming?"

It was clear to hear how reluctant I was to it all in my tone, yet my mom's answer was like a twirp.

"Around noon. You'll have time to clean up by then,"

"You could have told us before. If his father is going on a business trip, shouldn't we have been told a long time ago, so we could prepare?"

I noticed how my mom's eyes flickered as she looked in my dad's direction for a moment.

"It was a very short notice for his father, and a opportunity for a lifetime. He couldn't pass that up, even though he would have to leave so soon," Mom explained with a sweet voice, before filling my plate with more pancakes. "Now eat some more, sweet boy,"

I ate it, forgetting the rest of my questions in the process.

\- - - - -

I didn't want to be there when he was coming, so I had ended up sneaking out of the house instead. I ran all the way out to Armin's house, which was at least 12 miles. When I knocked on his door, I was sweating like a pig.

"H-Hey," I panted, resting my palms on my knees when his mom had opened the door.

"Why, hello there, Eren," She had said, though looking at me rather confused. It was understandable though.

"Is Armin home?"

"He's playing chess with his grandfather. I can tell him that you're – "

"No, that's fine. Just tell him I'm here when his done. I don't want to disturb his game," I smiled, and she stepped aside to let me in.

I went into his room, this time alone, and took my shirt off. It had been quite a while since I last ran, so my shirt was now drenched in sweat. I went into his private bathroom, throwing it on the floor with every other piece of clothing I had, to take a shower.

I knew he wouldn't mind, since I had done the same thing many times before. Not while we were dating, but that didn't really matter for me.

We had been friends all of our lives, so we were as comfortable as anyone could be with eachother. It was nice to have someone that you could be completely yourself around.

Stepping out of the shower, I stole some of Armin's dry clothes, and even though the shirt was way too thigh over my muscles, the sweat pants was just my size. Luckily, his grandmother had once bought him a pair 2 sizes too big for him, and he didn't have the heart to return them to the store.

At least, he had made his grandmother happy, and now I had something to wear – clearly it was a win-win.

I sat down on his bed, leaning down against one pillow, and grabbed the top book from his night stand. To believe, there was actually several books stabled on top of each other there.

How could he read this much, I never could imagine.

I flicked through the pages, not really paying attention to the words of the book. When I threw it at the end of the bed, I started looking at the room again.

I noticed, that when you were laying in the bed, the whole room looked very different. The light from the window gave it all another perspective to it, making it all seem to … Move?

I straightened my back when sitting up, surprised of what I was seeing. In that exact moment, Armin opened the door, almost stumbling to get inside.

"E-Eren," He gasped, surprised. "Mom said y-you were here, but … " He tried to take a deep breath, relaxing himself. "Why are you here?" He looked at me for a split second. " … And, um, why are you wearing my clothes?"

I broke out in laughter, falling back onto the bed once again.

"Wh-What's so funny?"

Armin closed the door, before walking towards me. He sat on the bed, and gave me a nudge.

"Hey, cut it out!" He said, but I could see that he was smiling as well.

"I'm sorry," I said, still chuckling lightly.

We stared at each other for a few moments in silence until my laughter faded out.

"Armin, your room … It's the ocean, isn't it?"

His face shone up in happiness, and he grabbed my hand.

"It is!"

I pulled him into a strong embrace, and we sat there for a while, just being close to eachother.

The ocean had been a mutual love of ours, and it was actually on the day that we went to the ocean together, that we had shared our first kiss.

"It's beautiful," I finally said, removing myself from him, getting some distance between us.

"It really is,"

"This is why you were so excited to show us yesterday, wasn't it?" I asked, tilting my head to look at him.  
"It was. I must admit, I was a bit disappointed when you didn't notice it then, but that doesn't matter now. You noticed eventually, that's what matters," He leaned in closely to my face, kissing me softly, and I cupped his cheek to caress it while doing so.

We never kissed for more than 5 seconds though, and this was no different. We both pulled back quickly, and I sat down in a crossed-legged position, leaning my elbows on my knees, so that I could rest my own cheeks between my hands.

"So why did you come over?" He asked, laying down on his side, looking up at me.

"This kid I once knew ... He's moving in today … " I mumbled. Just speaking his name made me angry, so I was hoping to avoid that as much as possible. "He has to live with us for at least 4 months. And that's not even the worst part – " I took a deep breath to make it seem more dramatic. "He's going to stay in my room! Can you believe it?"

Armin looked at me thoughtfully, not really the reaction I was expected from him. I needed him to be angry for me, to say that I was right, and everybody else was wrong.

"Hmm … Is it the boy who destroyed all your toys?"

"Yes, it damn well is! Even Mr. Teddy!" My voice was raised with frustration, but Armin just laughed.

"You had such a weird love for that teddy bear. Maybe it was for the best that it died?"

I looked at him, shocked.

"How can you even say that? You're supposed to be on my side! To agree that he is a horrible person!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Eren. It's been so many years since then … He is probably a totally changed person now. Every child can be a little mean sometimes … It doesn't mean they'll grow up to be the exact kind of child that they once were," He sent me a calming smile. "Everybody grows out of their childish habits. Maybe he was just going through something then, and ended up letting it out on you?"

Armin placed a flat hand on my leg, slidind his thumb over my kneecap in slow motions.

"Don't let that interfere with the way you see him now. It would be too bad if he was actually a nice person now, and you just end up treating him different, because of a silly incident many years ago?"

I sighed, irritated over how intelligent Armin was.

"That's true, I guess … " I mumbled. I absolutely hated giving him the satisfaction of being right. Though he always was.

"So, will you give him a chance, at least?" Armin asked, as if he was somekind of pedagogue and I was a small child.

"Yeah yeah yeah," I just sat, rolling my eyes.

"I guess I can try being nice to him. _Try_ ,"

\- - - - -

As I opened the front door, I heard laughter coming from the living room. It was silenced as soon as they heard me come in, but I had still been able to hear them.

"Hey, I'm home," I mumbled, somewhat nervous, before walking to the open door that lead into the living room.

They where all sitting in the sofa and the surrounding chairs, smiling. Of course, those smiles faded away when they noticed me standing in the doorway.

"Hey honey," Mom said, sounding nervous as well. "Where have you been?"

"At Armin's," I answered shortly, crossing my arms that incidentally made my biceps look bigger.

Okay, maybe it was a little bit intentional. I just wanted to show the guy that I wasn't someone to mess with anymore.

I was therefore more than just baffled, when I finally saw Levi. Even just sitting in the sofa, I could easily see how short and small he looked. I would probably have laughed loudly right there on the spot, if it wasn't for his face though.

He looked at me with eyes that had _that look_. Very intimidating and scary, making me want to stand behind something or someone when being in the same room with him. His small lips were pursed together, so that his overall face expression was a mere frown.

"Hello," He said before standing up and walking towards me. I had to use all my willpower just to keep standing were I was instead of walking backwards to get away from him.

He was indeed shorter than me, I realised, when we were finally standing in front of eachother. His black raven hair gave him a few inches more, but his nose still only reached my chin. I smiled, satisfied with being the taller one, before reaching out a hand.

"Hi,"

"So you're name is, hmm … Eren, right?" He said casually, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. I almost cringed at the power – where did he get all that strength from that small body?

I raised an eyebrow, instantly irritated over him pretending not to remember me. I remembered him clearly and everything he had done to me, yet he didn't even remember my name?

"Y-Yeah," I said, clenching my jaw. He pulled his hand back, so he could go back to his seat again.

I only stood there for a moment, baffled.

"Sweetheart, would you like a muffin?" Mom showed me a plate filled with her delicious home baked goods, but I didn't really feel like being in the presence of Levi for another second, so I just shook my head.

"No thanks. I'm going upstairs to do homework,"

"But we just made them to – " Mikasa said behind me, but I was already on my way up the stairs, not being able to hear her finish her sentence.

I walked into my room expecting it to be the way it has always been, which was probably why I stumbled over my feet when I first saw it, leaving me with my face first on the floor. Half of my room had been cleaned off, and there was now a bed there instead of my weights, bookcase and all my other random stuff. My desk had even been moved over to my bed, which was filled with all my stuff. On the other bed, there was only lying two filled bags, not even opened yet.

"What the hell?" I gasped in a mix of horror and surprise, and quickly got up on my feet again.

Sure, he was going to live here, but really? There wasn't room for any of my own stuff anymore. I would either have to throw something out, or live in a overly messy room for the rest of the 4 months that he had to be here.

Even more irritated, I found a big, black bag, and started filling it up. I realised about 5 minutes in, that it was all just old junk anyway, which made it not as difficult as I had thought at first. It was mostly stuff from my childhood anyway.

 _How ironic_ , I thought, rolling my eyes.

When the bag was filled, and the rest of the things was placed on my desk, I went down the stairs to throw it out. I noticed on the way down that no one was sitting in the living room anymore, which made it a lot easier for me to feel comfortable. I let out a deep sigh, before opening the front door.

The sight before me was horrible.

Both of my parents were sitting on the front seat of the car, with Mikasa in the back. Levi was standing a few feet away from me, waving at them as they pulled out of the driveway. I caught Mikasa's eyes, and she looked at me with big eyes. Her lips moved slowly, letting me make out what she was saying.

I'm sorry.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I yelled after them, waving my arms to get my parents attention, but they were already long gone.

"Oh, it's you," Lei said, as he turned around. He crossed his arms, watching me with a bored look.

"They went out to shop for dinner. Your mom wanted us to … Bond or something. Well, to clean your room at the least,"

I lifted the bag so he could notice it.

"I'm already at it," I grunted, remembering Armin's words.

_Be nice to him, Eren._

Okay, sure. I could be nice.

"That's great. Your room is really dirty and disgusting, so the more work the better,"

I clenched my jaw, and turned around to go to the trash bins. My mom had once said, that if you didn't have anything nice to say then you shouldn't say anything at all.

I guess I was following that advice now.

"It might even take all day," He just kept on going.

"It's fine as it is," I growled lowly, walking back to the house. "You can clean your part of the room if you want to,"

He followed me back into the house without another word, and with me up into my – sorry – _our_ bedroom.

Uncomfortable, I sat down on my now clean bed and pulled over a book with sudoku's to make.

That was another thing that Armin and I had in common. I hadn't thought that I would like it at first when he had introduced me to it, but it seemed like it was the only thing that could calm me down, if I got upset somehow.

Levi walked around in the room, opening his bags and took out the clothes. He folded it nicely, almost to perfection, before putting it into the little dresser that stood beside his bed. When he had done that, he started looking at my bookcase and desk. Studied everything I had, almost.

"Hey, will you please stop touching that?" I asked him annoyed, when he had grabbed a snowball that Armin had given me last Christmas.

He didn't answer me, but at least he left it on the table.

I sighed in relief. For a second there, I was worried that he would drop it on the floor on purpose.

"So, you're a senior?" He asked, now looking at my notebooks. I nodded, finishing the easy sudoku in my book.

"A – ha," I just said, trying to ignore him. He loudly started to flick through the pages of my notebooks, before throwing them away.

"Why? You're only 16,"

"Almost 17!" I snapped at him, not being able to stop myself.

"Still. You're too young,"

"I skipped a class,"

"Seriously?"

I snorted in annoyance, closing my book and putting it under my pillow so I could give him my full attention. He clearly wouldn't stop, even if I tried to ignore him.

"Yes,"

He leaned up against the desk, crossing his arms over his chest. He then proceeded to look at me with the most judgemental look I had ever seen in my life.

"Why?"

"Do I really need to explain that to you?"

In that moment, I felt superior. Like I was better than him.

"You don't look like a smart kid. You look … Plain,"

My eyes widened by the comment, shocked and unable to say anything. My jaw had dropped, but no words came out.

He could have called me dirty or ugly or stupid … Yet he chose the word that hurt the most.

"Well, I'm not," I finally muttered, looking away. This caused him to chuckle lightly.

"Sensitive, sensitive,"

Silence.

"I'm being transferred to your school,"

This made me look at him again, locking my eyes with his.

" _What?_ " I exclaimed loudly. He was starting to penetrate his way into my whole life. First my house, my room, and now my school?

"A – ha," He answered, smiling widly. It wasn't because of happiness though – he was just satisfied with my reaction.

"This is not happening," I muttered, granning my head with my hands.

"Sorry," Levi said, shrugging, clearly not being sorry at all.

"Just … Just get out," I growled, feeling like I was having the worst headache.

"Sorry brat, but that's not happening,"

I looked up at him to see him staring at me intensily with his dark, grey eyes, a smirk forming on his lips.

"This is my room too now, remember?"


	3. Let The War Begin

"Mr. Jaeger, care to explain?"

"Huh?"

I looked up to see my grumpy, old teacher staring at me. He was tapping his foot impatiently, something he always did right before he would start yelling.  
"Yes sir!" I quickly said, standing up to avoid his anger. This distracted him, as no one ever stood up in his classes – even the loud _screeeching_ sound when the chair was pushed backwards, made the little man jump a little.

"The answer is A. This result clearly shows already from the beginning, when … "

I stopped listening to myself, as I kept talking. I was like a machine, only saying the words, but never really hearing them. I only knew the answer, because it had been knocked into my head forcifully several times until I was able to remember it.

I had no passionate feelings toward learning, to understand these boring matters, yet that was all I knew.

After answering, I sat down again slowly, waiting for the teacher to continue with his teaching. I felt Mikasa's look boring into the back of my head, but I didn't respond to it.

After class, she walked over to me, waiting for me to finish putting my books into my bag.

"Eren,"

"Yeah?"

"You seem weird,"

I threw the bag over my shoulder, chuckling a bit.

" _You_ seem weird,"

"No, I'm serious,"

"And I'm in a hurry. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

I rushed out of there, so I could get to the next classroom in time, hoping to avoid her worry for the rest of the day. Armin met me in the doorway when I arrived, welcoming me with a smile.

"Hey Eren! I missed you this weekend. You didn't answer any of my – Hey," He stopped talking to grab my shoulder instead, as he noticed my hazy eyes and slouchy walk.

"You okay?"

I wasn't. All day long, I had been paranoid about running into Levi. The thought of seeing him here made me sick to my stomach. But this was last class, and the sight of him until now had been non-existent. This was the start of the new week after all, so if he was supposed to start at my school, he should have been here, shouldn't he? Or … Maybe he had lied, just to mess with my head?

I truly hoped so.

"I'm fine," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before walking into the classroom. This seemed to ease him, even as I grabbed his hand.

Our classmates were cool about our relationship, so there was really no need to keep it a secret. I had never felt that it was necessary to hide it, even though I didn't stand on the rooftops and yelled it out to the whole world either.

The truth was, that I hadn't even told my parents yet, as strange as that was.

I didn't know if they really knew, but we had never had an 'official' conversation about it, so I had really no idea. I wasn't even sure why I hadn't told them yet, since I didn't believe that they would mind that much.

I didn't want to pick my brain with that right now, though.

As we all got seated, the teacher came in only a few moments after.

"Good afternoon class," He said with his deep, low voice, and starting rummaging around in his back.

"We're going to start reading a new book today. It's called Pride and Prejudice, and it's by Jane Austen," He finally found it, holding the book up to show the whole class.

"To start off with, how many of you actually know this book?"

I raised my hand, and only a few others did as well. I wasn't surprised – It wasn't really something I would expect any of my fellow classmates to know.

"Great. Now, who of you have read the book?"

Armin and I was the only ones, apparently. I knew that Marco and Mikasa had read it as well, but they weren't in the same English class as Armin and I was. Hell, Marco wasn't even a senior, he was still a junior just like all of my other friends.

It was only Armin, Mikasa and I who were seniors out of all our friends.

"That's fine, then most of you will read it with fresh eyes," The teacher said, smiling.

"Now, I need – "

"Excuse me?"

The door opened, and a voice interrupted the teacher.

"Yes?"

"This is AP English for Class B, right?"

"It is. Who are you?"

The boy stepped in, closing the door behind him. He was wearing tight jeans, a black, plain t-shirt and a blazer over it. He looked stylish, and I could hear some of the girls already starting to whisper to eachother.

"I was told that this was my class. I'm the new transfer student, Levi Ackerman,"

His eyes met mine in an instant, locking me in my place. Feeling like I was unable to move, I tried swallowing the huge lump in my throat.

"Ah! Yes, I had almost forgotten. Please, Levi, take a seat whereever you would like,"

This was when I noticed the empty spot right beside my own seat.

Please.

Don't.

Please don't.

Anywhere else.

Please.

No.

Don't come this way.

Oh god, he's coming this way.

Is he still looking at me?

… Yeah.

He is.

Fuck.

He sat down.

Beside me.

"Hey,"

"Don't talk to me," I whispered, trying to ignore him by looking away.

"Actually, this is great. As I was saying, I need two people to help me carry the books over here," He didn't even look at us to consider which to pick.

"Eren, Levi, you should come with me,"

I stood up reluctantly, following the big, blond man in front of me. Levi quickly caught up, walking alongside with me.

"So,"

"So?"

"We're in the same class,"

I rolled my eyes, not really wanting to answer him.

We got the the library, where the books were already waiting for us in two stacks.

I grabbed the first one, wanting to get out of there in a hurry, but it was heavier than I had first expected.

I was strong and I should be able to handle them, yet the surprise made me drop a few books on the floor anyway.

"Fuck," I gasped, trying to get a better grip on the bottom book, so I could sit down.

"After all this time, you're still such a little girl," Levi said with a smirk, before grapping the books off the floor before I could. He put them on his on stack though, instead of mine.

"Wha – hey, what do you mean with that?"

"With what?" He had already started to walk back again, forcing me to run after him.  
"After all this time? So, you remember?"

"You crying like a little girl? Yeah. That's one of my happiest memories,"

I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not, but that was something that I didn't want to worry about now.

"You seemed like you didn't remember me,"

He turned his head to look at me, his face being nothing but stone cold.

"I remember a lot of things,"

His tone suggested that I shouldn't ask any further, so I didn't. We walked back in silence, entering the class and passed out all the books.

The rest of the class went by quicker than I thought, and when it ended, I just hurried out of there. I had even gotten outside and heading for my bicycle, when a loud voice yelled my name.

"Eren!"

I stopped, turning around. Standing still, the cold was already creeping its way through my jacket.

"What's up?"

Armin caught up to me, looking rather distressed. His hair was a little messy, and he was holding his bag awkwardly, because it was so heavy.

It was so natural for me, that I didn't even think about it when I pulled it away from him and threw it over my own shoulder, so it could join my own.

"Y-You didn't have to do that," Armin muttered, his cheeks getting red. That could surely just be the cold though.

"Sure I did. You're my boyfriend, right?" The words came out of my mouth, though I didn't really mean them. I would have done it for him either way, not just because we were together.

"S-Sure," He said, though looking a bit more confident now, straightening his back.

"So, what's up?"

"You just disappeared so quickly," He said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. We began walking again, though at a slower pace now. "I didn't get a chance to ask if you wanted to hang out today,"

"Yeah, I guess we can do that,"

I could feel his eyes on me, how there was something more that hadn't been said.

"We can't be at my house though. They're going to have guests over,"

I looked at him, not really understanding why he was being so weird.

"Okay … Then we'll go to Vinguard," I said. It was the local cafe in town that we usually went to when we wanted to relax after studying.

"I was thinking more like going to your house,"

I stopped, turning around to look at him.

"No,"

"Why not?"

I wasn't even sure myself why, so I ended up not answering.

"I want to meet the guy who's sleeping with my boyfriend," Armin said, with a teasing smile. It was meant as a silly joke, but just the thought made all blood remove itself from my face.

" _What?_ " I gasped.

"You know, because you're sleeping in the same room?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You've already met him, so that's not going to happen,"

"I have?" He said, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. Levi Ackerman, the new guy from our English class?"

"Wow, really?" His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock. "Wow. He's really … Um … "

"Horrible? Mean? Scary?" There was so many possibilities, though Armin ended up using one that I had never imagined myself.

"Haha, no. I was going to say good-looking, but – "

"Are you serious?" I facepalmed myself, grunting a little.

"For a smart guy, you're pretty simple-minded, getting all hot and bothered because of him," Armin said, covering up a small chuckle. My eyes got small, as I frowned.

"Stop teasing me. He's a douchebag and I hate him,"

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," Armin laughed, squeezing my hand a bit. I looked around, sighing annoyedly. As my eyes moved from the streets to the school door, I noticed Levi walking out the front door, looking rather withdrawn. He looked around bored, meeting my gaze in only a second.

Like a reflex, I pulled my hand away from Armin's automatically.

"Let's just go,"

\- - - - -

"It looks so … Empty," Armin said when entering my room.

"I know. Apparently, that's how he likes it," I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

"So is it weird … Sleeping with him?" He asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Um … No," I mumbled, placing both our bags on the floor before joining him.

"What? But he has been living here for two nights already," Armin said, confused. "Where have you been sleeping then?"

"At Mikasa's?" I said, feeling ashamed.

"That's crazy!" Armin exclaimed, not being able to hide his surprise. "You can't be serious … You have to be able to sleep in your own room, Eren!"

I fell backwards, landing on my back with a loud sigh.

"I know, Armin! Mikasa said the same thing," I put my arm over my eyes to shut everything out.

"She kicked me out this morning,"

Armin pulled himself more onto the bed, leaning down at me, removing my arm. I looked up at him, suddenly getting an idea.

"Heeeeey, Armin … I was thinking," I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him more towards me. "Can I sleep at your house tonight?"

I could see how his whole face flustered, embarrassed by the sudden intimacy. Okay, I was probably taken advantages that I shouldn't have, to get what I wanted, but the truth was that I would do anything not to be that close to Levi. The thought of my unconcious body in the same room as him – He could do all sorts of horrible things.

But that had resulted in this – the closest position Armin and I had ever had, before now. We had only kissed, so this was escalating rather quickly.

So why wasn't I affected by it at all?

"E-Eren, I don't think t-that's a good idea … " Armin muttered, not looking like he was being able to think straight. He pulled away a bit, so he could sit straight up again.

"You know I want you to, but … You have to face your fears. You can't just keep running away from him. You already know that you'll have to sleep here eventually, so don't push it away. Just face it already,"

I looked up at him, pursing my lips together in a discontented look.

I knew he was right though.

"Okay okay, fine … " I murmured, sitting up as well. "Sometimes, I wish you could just stop being so clever,"

"I'm sorry," Armin smiled, clearly not sorry at all.

In that moment, the door was opened, and Levi stepped inside the room.

"Oi," He said, not even looking at us as he walked to his bed.

"Will you _knock_ , please?" I hissed, irritated not to have enough time to move away, so that me and Armin would be at an appropriate distance.

"This is my room too. I don't have to knock to get into my own room," He just stated, before turning around to face us.

"Hello," He said, when he noticed Armin's presence.

"Hi there. I'm Armin,"

Armin stood up and reached out a hand in front of Levi. He looked at it for something that seemed like an very long, very akward moment, before crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm Levi," He lowly said, looking at Armin with an judgemental look in his eyes.

I could see how Armin stepped back a bit, his arm falling flat to his sides again.

The tension grew between all three of us, making me just want to crawl under my duvet and hide until both of them just went away. I wanted to yell at Armin _Can you understand now why I hate him so much?_ but I just stayed silent on the bed.

I could see how Levi's eyes stared at Armin, and I remember the uncomfortable feeling of his eyes boring into mine. That was probably how Armin felt right now.

"We're in the same class," Armin said, scratching his neck awkwardly, trying to get a conversation started.

"Yes,"

Awkward silence.

"Um … "

"Let's get something to eat," I jumped up very suddenly, grabbing Armin's arm. I wanted to end this horrible situation as quickly as possible.

"O-Okay," Armin muttered, confused with the sudden energy I had, and went with me as we walked out of the room and down into the kitchen.

"That was the worst conversation I have ever seen," I said, bursting out into laughter when we were finally alone again.

"I take my previous statement back. He is terrifying," Armin mumbled, chuckling as well. His cheeks were still red, the after effect of the embarassment. "I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it," He continued, leaning up against the kitchen counter.

"Now who's the melodramatic?" I said, sending him a teasing smile, which he just responded to by rolling his eyes.

I opened the refrigerator and grabbed the apple juice carton.

"Okay, I think I understand you a little better now," He said, after I had giving him a glass of the yellow liquid.

"Finally," I said, sighing.

"But I still think you're overreacting. Sure, he gives off a frightening athmosphere, but he doesn't seem like he wants to hurt you,"

"What are you saying?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest as if I had to defend myself.

"I'm saying that he's not violent. I don't think you have to worry,"

"Just … " I turned around, drinking the heeltap before placing the glass in the the sink. "Just stop talking about. I don't … I don't want to think about it anymore than necessary," I said, waving my hand in the air.

He shrugged, though looking at me with a thoughtful look.

"Fine, then what do you want to do?"

I wanted to get my mind off of everything. I needed to.

I just didn't know how.

\- - - - -

We had watched some old movie that Armin had found, and then he went home. It had all been pretty dull, and the rest of the evening was the same way.

Mom and Dad had gotten home, and soon after we had a 'family meeting', as they liked to call it. Every time they thought of a new way to improve the family dynamics, we were forced into these meetings, and even though they said that the meetings was for _discussing it_ it always seemed like we really didn't have a say in the matter.

This time, they had introduced a new dinner system to us, basically just saying that us teenagers had to prepare dinner in unison.

"Are you serious?" I had immediately responded. "We already have enough work at school as it is!"

"And we have work as well. We all have to join in to be a family," Mom had said calmly, folding her hands in her lap.

"This is so unfair,"

"Stop being so self-centered. They're not doing this to punish you," Levi had suddenly joined in, surprising us all. He had done nothing but sit in the chair furthest away, only listening until now.

I looked at him baffled, not sure what to say.

"Levi is right," Dad stated, looking harshly at me. "This is how it is going to be, like it or not,"

And that was how I ended up in the kitchen, peeling potatoes. Levi had been surprisingly good at cooking, so he ended up doing most of the work.

We didn't speak more than what was necessary, leaving an uncomfortable atmosphere in the whole room, but it wasn't only because of that. I still remembered how he had been smiling at me, so smug and self-satisfied after the meeting had ended. As if he had enjoyed being able to push me under his thumb. As if he had found my weakness, and was taking advantage of it.

When the dinner was on the table, we once again joined together to eat.

"I was thinking that we could go out tonight. Maybe take a walk down the beach. Is that something you guys would like?"

All three of us looked at Mom and Dad, but with different expressions. I snorted, shaking my head immidiately, while Mikasa kept her blank face expression. Levi was the only one who actually smiled, looking excited.

"Sounds like fun," He said, and they nodded before I could protest.

"Great," Mom smiled at Levi, and I noticed how his eyes sparkled for a second.

I didn't know why, but it annoyed me to no end, that he was already having such a good relationship with my parents. And how they loved him as well. It was like I was just waiting for them to wish that he was the son they never had.

And I was jealous.

"So, how was your first day in school, Levi?"

Levi, who sat in front of me so I had full view of him, looked up. His full attention had been on his food up until now, though he hadn't actually eaten anything.

I had no idea either, why I was noticing such things.

"It was fine," He said coldly, cutting off the conversation as quickly as it had started.

I lifted an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden lack of interest now of all times, since he had seemed fine with conversing just before, when it involved something that I didn't want to do.

So I decided to help him a little.

"Oh, you're forgetting to mention that we're in the same English class!" I joined in, sending my parents a big smile, before turning my head to look at Levi.

"Yeah, it was fun. Though he was acting a little weird," I paused, tilting my head, pretending to be worried. "You didn't really seem all that well … Now that I think of it, you even look a bit pale now," I looked at my mom, who had gotten a worried look as well. "Doesn't he?"

She nodded slowly, though hesistant.

"I guess … "

"What?" Levi furrowed his brows, looking confused at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, the teacher actually had to send him to the nurse's office at one point, because he got worried as well – "

"Eren, what the fuck are you doing? I feel fine," Levi's voice was filled with annoyance, interrupting me.

"Oh Levi, don't be so modest!" I said, before grabbing my mom's hand. "He doesn't really like to be nursed, so he doesn't say anything, but I don't think it would be the best thing to have him out walking in the cold right now,"

I finally got to the point of it all, smiling widely at Levi.

"You should probably stay home, maybe drink some tea. I'll even let you borrow my blanket,"

"Oh honey, that's so sweet and considerate of you," My mom said, giving my hand a quick squeeze.

"Eren is right, Levi," She said, looking at Levi, who was just staring at me now, as if he wanted to kill me with his deadly glare.  
"It's probably for the best. We can't have you getting sick already,"

And that is how I ended up manipulating my parents into not spending time with Levi.

He was furious, it was so clear to see that, yet he didn't protest. We both knew that I had the upper hand right now, so he couldn't do anything else than just follow orders.

I couldn't believe it myself, that it had actually worked. I had never done anything like that before.

I had just been so frustrated with the fact that he was getting along with my parents, when all I did was fight with them. That he was acting like the perfect child in front of them, when I knew who he really was.

But most of all, it just felt great to be the one in control. Levi had always been the one terrorising me, and now I could finally get him back.

"Oi brat,"

Someone grabbed my arm, after dinner, pulling my into the empty guest room that was never used.

"Wha – " I exclaimed in surprise, when Levi pushed me up against the wall after closing the door after me.

"What the hell was that?" He said. "I want an explanation now,"

He looked terrifying, making me cringe a bit. Yet, I had to keep my head held high.

"You just lied to your parents! What is it that you think you're getting out of this, exactly?" He said, crossing his arms while his eyes kept boring into mine.

"That's because you're fooling my parents as well! Pretending to be polite and nice, when _I know_ that you're not! It's bullshit!" The last part I had yelled, getting too angry to fully notice.

He pissed me off so much, and I was done pretending to be nice.

"What the hell do you know about me? _Nothing_ ," He said angrily, shoving me into the wall once again. This time he grabbed my wrists, holding me in my place. "I've changed since we were kids. You don't know anything about me," He growled.

"I know you're an inpolite, inconsiderate prick who likes to ruin my life!" I answered, trying to kick him over the leg to get him away from me. It had no effect though.

It silenced him though, and for a long moment he just stared at me. I clenched my jaw, looking at him with challenging eyes.

"I'm not fucking afraid of you anymore!" I finally said, though breathing heavily as I was still trying to make him release his grip on me.

"You know, I had decided to try and be nice to you, but clearly you're just a stupid brat who needs to learn a little _respect_ ," He hissed with a low voice. "Congratulations, Eren. You've just made an enemy,"

He finally let me go, and I stumbled away from him.

"Prick," I grunted, before opening the door.

"Brat," He answered, before pushing me out of his way. He went into our shared bedroom, slamming the door after him.

I cringed at the loud sound, before taking a deep breath, preparing myself.

Let the war begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Eren has wonderful personality traits such as being a jealous prick who's good at lying and sabotaging. Next chapter is going to be hilarious.


	4. It's Not Just A Game

When I had gotten home from the walk with my parents -with I had only done to piss Levi off – a surprise was waiting for me. Levi had been pretending to be asleep, as I had snuck in not to wake him up. In some way I was glad that he wasn't conscious – It would have been way too weird to fall asleep with him trying to do the same in the same room. I took off my clothes and found my pajamas, so that I was ready to sleep. I didn't want to turn on any lights, so I just fought my way through the room to my bed, without stepping on anything. With a small sigh, I fell down into my bed, fully prepared to sleep. That wouldn't be the case though, as I felt something wet on my body right away.

"Ehh?!" I gasped, trying to find out what I was lying in. In a moment of surprise, I ended up rolling out of bed and landing on the floor.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed in anger, trying to get up again. A low chuckle could be heard from the other side of the room, and I turned around to see Levi sitting up and looking at me with a hand over his mouth. It was dark in the room, but the moon light from the window gave me enough vision to notice his bare upper body.

Angry as hell, I grabbed my pillow and threw it at him.

"What did you do to my bed?"

"I guess I spilled something … Whoops?"

"Jerk!"  
"Brat,"

\- - - - -

"Eren, you look so tired," Armin stated thursday morning, when we sat down in our class.

"That's because Levi kept me up all night, making noises to keep me awake," I said grumpily, resting my head in my palms.

"What? Why would he do that?"

"Probably because I put an unreasonable amount of chili in his food at dinner," I muttered. Remembering his face expression when he had tried to eat some of it instantly made me laugh.

I already felt a little better now, just thinking about it.

"You guys are torturing each other. You really should stop this game you're playing, and – "  
"It's not a game!" I protested, lifting my head to look at him. "It's not just for fun. He deserves it!"

In that moment, Levi stepped into the classroom, silencing me from saying anything further. He sat down at the table beside me, though not even looking at me. I couldn't help myself though, and ended up staring at him out of the corner of my eye.

He looked like himself, not tired at all. I had bags under my eyes, and he looked like he had gotten a whole night's sleep, even though he had been making those noises.

_Grr, that bastard._

I turned my head to focus on the teacher that had just walked in, welcoming us all.

"Good morning everybody. How are you all feeling today?" She smiled, clearly in a very good mood. All the students just grunted, not at all ready for having a class this early on in the morning.

"So today, before we get started, I want to ask you all something. I'm in charge of the school play, but I still need to fill out some roles. So, are any of you interested?"

The class became silent, as no one wanted to do it. Every year, it was the same kind of garbage that no one really cared for.

And then I realised, how a perfect opportunity had just jumped into my hands.

"Miss Jackson?" I said, raising my hand high into the air.

"Yes, Eren? Are you willing to do it?" She said, her eyes getting larger as her hope grew.

"No, sadly I have severe stage fright, _but_ – "

I looked over at Levi to smirk at him.

"I've seen Levi act, and he is really really good! I'm sure he would be the perfect candidate, and that he would just nothing but love to work with you and help you with the play!" I said, trying to said happy and excited for his behalf.

"Oh really? That's so great, Levi! Thank you so much," Miss Jackson said, sending Levi a big smile. He didn't notice though, as he was too busy staring at me in shock.

"I know that you are new here, which just makes it so much better!" She continued on.

This was perfect. I had made sure that I couldn't be sucked into it as well, _and_ I said it in a certain way so that Levi would seem like a huge douchebag if he refused now. He knew that just as well as I did, which was probably why his fists were clenching under the table. I could imagine how he was probably wishing that my neck had been in between those clenched fists of his, so I just stuck my tongue out at him.

 _"Ha – I got you,"_ I whispered to him, before turning my head to look at Miss Jackson again who was still talking excitedly about the play.

This wasn't a game, but if it was then I was clearly winning.

\- - - - -

"Oh, Ereeeeen,"

His voice was low, but it had a certain ring to it.

"Mmmh," I mumbled, still half asleep. It was friday morning, and I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings yet. I could only hear that voice in my head, and a nice, soft feeling on my face. I tried moving my body to lie better, but something heavy on top of me was preventing me from doing so.

"Eren, wake up," The voice whispered again, and I did as I was told. I blinked several times, before completely opening my eyes to see what was going on.

"Good morning, sunshine,"

Levi's face was right in front of me, and as his upper body hovered over mine, keeping me from moving.

"Eh?"

At first, I felt nothing but confused. What was he doing in my bed? Why was he waking me up? And worst of all … Why couldn't I seem to focuse on anything other than the fact that he smell so damn good?

He snorted, laughing lowly before removing himself from me. I quickly sat up, making sure that I had at least some clothes on to cover me up.

"What are you doing?" I asked him annoyedly, watching him as went to his bed again. He was already fully dressed, yet he hadn't woken me up before now.

"Shit! Are we late for school?" I could already feel the stress building up inside me, as I flew up from the bed and ran over to my dresser.

"No, we have … Five minutes or so, before we have to leave," Levi said calmly, though he knew damn well that five minutes wasn't nearly enough to get ready in.

"Did you turn my alarm clock off?!" I whined as I saw that it wasn't working. He didn't answer - he just sent me a smirk, walking over to his own bed.

I almost ripped the buttons from the shirt, as I threw it away, to find a proper sweater to wear.

I could feel Levi's eyes on me, but I had no time to react properly.

"Stop looking, you pervert! Get out so I can get changed!" I turned around and yelled at him, after finding the rest of my clothes.

"Whatever," He said, though chuckling loudly. He walked past me, being horribly slow on purpose. When he finally closed the door, I got the rest of the clothes on, and grabbed my bag. There was no time for breakfast, so I ended up just running out the door, not even having time to look myself in the mirror.

When I arrived at school, people weren't just looking when passing by, they _literally_ stared.

And when I came inside, the first teacher I saw scolded me and told me to wash it off. When I asked "Wash what off?" I was given another scold.

When I finally came into the bathroom, I quickly saw what had become of me.

My whole face had been drawn over with a tusch, giving me long whiskers all over my cheeks. There had also been drawn fake eyelashes under my eyes, making me look like Twiggy.

Damn him, I thought, as I started to rub it off.

I quickly discovered the horrifying fact that _it couldn't get off._

\- - - - -

"Are you ready for your first day at practice after school?" I asked, slamming my hand onto his back to pat it several times.

I wasn't gentle.

Levi coughed loudly, looking rather annoyed at me.

"Shut up Jaeger," He just answered, clearly not in the mood to talk.

Since that hadn't been my obejective anyway, I just went back to my seat, and waited for it. We had only had small bickerings over the weekend, but now that we were back to school again, the war continued.

The people behind him only laughed and giggled as we sat through the class, so it was first in the break between the two classes, that the real fun began.

People where pointing at him, bending their knees to get shorter, and showing the same thing with their hands.

It went on all day, until a gentle soul finally came up to him and showed him the note that had been stuck to his back the whole day.

It said:

_I'm short_

_please mock me_

\- - - - -

Friday at noon, we had been told that we had an extra, special class to attend.

My head was still spinning fom an intense History Lesson, so I just buried my head in my hands, not even looking up when the teacher came in. It was probably just a special message about graffiti on school grounds again. The teachers loved to bitch about those kinds of things, as if there wasn't bigger concerns out in the world.

"Ah, tired I see," A feminine voice called out. "But fear not! I have something that will certainly raise your energy again,"

I could hear Levi snort, the sound mocking her instantly. I looked up to give him a look, to tell him how distasteful it was to be disrespectful in front of your teacher.

She didn't seem to even notice, though. When I finally looked at her, she was busy opening the huge brief case that was laying on the desk. What it contained was hidden from the rest of us, though.

"The school board have given me permission to take a full 30 minutes of your precious time to teach you a little bit about something very important,"

She had glasses, and her brown hair was put up in a messy ponytail, and I realised that she looked like someone who could be only a few years older than the rest of us.

"I work in a company that sells many different products that deals wih the privacy of the bedroom. I have therefore been asked here to teach you all about safe sex,"

When she had said the last part, the whole classroom was suddenly summing with anticipation, and the girls giggling filled the room immediately.

She smiled, satisfied to finally have our full attention.

I couldn't help but feel my cheeks burning up, as the embarrassing realisation kicked in. I was surely not going to listen to some girl teach me about stuff like that. I certainly didn't want to hear any of it.

I suddenly became _very_ aware of the fact that Armin and Levi was sitting on both of my sides, and my breath became irregular as I started to feel claustrophobic.

"Now, my name is Hange Zoe, and I am …"

She kept on talking about menstruation, tampons, morning boners and AIDS/HIV for too long (after my opinion) and with every new subject I could feel myself sink deeper into my chair.

I sat there, eyes boring into the table the whole time, as I just waited for her to be done. I wanted out of here before the lump in my throat finally got the best of me, but that wasn't going to happen. This was so embarassing, being forced to listen to something like this.

"Eren will do it!"

As I heard my name being mentioned, I finally looked up to start focusing again.

"Huh?" I asked in confusement, as Hange grabbed my arm and yanked me forward. I barely just got a look at Levi, who was smiling widely, showing me a thumbs up.

"You're welcome!" He said, before folding his hands behind his neck, as he leaned back in his chair.

"This is so great, Eren, that you're willing to be our volunteer! Now, what you're going to do is put this on,"

She handed me a small package, and I looked at it for several seconds, not understanding completely what it was that she wanted me to do exactly.

I looked down at my pants, then back at the package.

"... Eh?! No way!" I suddenly exclaimed. Everyone in the class snickered loudly, as my face got flustered.

"No no, Eren. I don't want you to take the condom on yourself – " Hange said, chuckling as well. "Just on this one. To demonstrate how it should be done,"

She pointed at the black dildo standing on the desk, before stepping back so everyone had a full view of me. I looked out on my fellow classmates, thinking that it couldn't get worse than this. My eyes landed on Armin, who wasn't even looking at me. He had covered his mouth, but it didn't hide that the rest of his face was just as red as mine.

How could he be that embarrassed, when I was the one who had to do it?

I sighed, wanting to just get it over with. I ripped open the package, grapping the condom that felt moist in my hand. I swallowed once, making sure that the little tip of it was upwards, before placing it on the top of the dildo.

"What Eren just did, was that he made sure that the end of the condom has to be turned the right way. If not, then you can't be sure that it will work correctly. When putting it on, you have to remember to – " I had already squeezed the top of the condom when I started to roll it over the rest of the dildo. "Oh, that's right Eren! You made sure that there wasn't any air left in the condom. Good thing you volunteered, it's always great to have someone who has lot of experience,"

I jumped a little when she said it, and almost ran down to my seat again, to avoid the stares. I couldn't avoid the loud laughter that filled the whole room though.

"Experience, huh?"

Levi had leaned to my side, getting closer than usual.

"S-Shut up!" I said angrily, raising my hands over my cheeks to hide my flustered face.

\- - - - -

I couldn't look anyone in the eyes for the rest of the day, not even Armin.

The whole saturday, I had just stayed in my room, hiding under the covers. I still felt embarrassed and ashamed by yesterdays incident, so I had decided not to do anything social today, afraid to be mocked by my friends who probably had heard of the incident.

Levi hadn't done anything else for the rest of the day yesterday, and he had gotten up before me today. I hadn't seen him since then.

I kept falling in and out of sleep, but at 2 o'clock, someone finally knocked loudly on the door, waking me up entirely.

"Yeah?" I said, before placing a pillow on top of my face.

"It's me," A well-kown voice said, and I could hear how the door closed and the foot steps were getting closer.

"Hey," I mumbled, pulling the pillow down to my nose, so that I could see him in the eyes.

Armin looked like himself, and in a good mood even.

"You've been sleeping this whole time?" He said, trying to supress a chuckle.

"So what if I have?" I said, trying to defend my lazy habit.

"It's actually unhealthy to do that, did you know that if – "

"Stop talking," I laughed, too tired to listen to Armin rant on yet again about something boring that only he thought would be interesting to learn about. I grabbed his shoulders, yanking him down into the bed with me. He whined like a girl, though he didn't put up a fight. I had done it to distract him, to make him stop talking, so when he started placing his arms around me, I was more than surprised.

"Eren?" He said, not giving me time to breathe. "Was that really true … What she said?"

I tried sitting up to look at him, but he held me down now, holding my wrists. I looked up at him, not really understanding what was happening.

Armin and I had never been this close before. He was breathing rather heavily, his body hovering over mine, as he looked down at me with blushing cheeks. He seemed nervous, and he wasn't the only one.

"What are you talking about?"  
"The woman, Hange Zoe … She said you were, um, experienced,"

_Exp – … Experienced?_

My whole face started to fluster, as I finally understood what he was saying.

"N-No! Absolutely not!"

I could see the worry leaving Armin's eyes, as he realised what my words meant.

"Oh … Well, then … "

What had gotten into him today? This was not at all something that Armin would do. It was so clear, that even though he was shy and embarrassed, he was still pushing himself to his limits, forcing me down like this.

But why?  
Armin lowered his head, but I turned mine to the side in the last second, stopping him from kissing me.

"Huh?"  
"I'm sorry, I just … " I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just had this odd feeling in my stomach all of the sudden.

Armin sat up in the bed, straightening his back and looked away. I sat up as well, though looking at him.

"We never do anything," He stated, after a moment of silence.

"What are you talking about?"

"We only kiss, and even that is a rare thing," He looked back at me once again, this time biting his lip. "We are together, but we don't even act like it … How can that be? Don't you … Don't you want me?"

Armin then gasped under his breath, as if he had instantly regretting saying that. To make up for it, he quickly added, "I just want to be the one that you gain those certain experiences with, i guess ... "

I didn't know the answer to any of what he had just said, so I just stayed silent. Armin's eyes started getting glassy the longer the silence went on, looked down to hide it. I had noticed though, getting a rather guilty conscience over being the cause of those tears.

I didn't want to see him cry, so I had to do something.

I had to stop it somehow.

I grabbed his chin, pulling it towards me, so that our lips could meet. I pressed them against mine, not even waiting for his accept before pulling him even closer.

As my tongue parted his lips and slipped inside his mouth, he moaned loudly into mine.

Did this turn him on?

I had to admit that what we were doing was definitely something so moan over, and my heart was surely beating faster in my chest … I just wasn't sure that it was actually because I was kissing Armin, or just because this was so new to me. We were still of the same gender after all.

A loud noise made both of us pull our lips apart from eachother, looking around to see what had caused it.

Levi was standing in the doorway, looking just as surprised as we were. Our compromising position made it very easy to see what was going on, so there was no way that I would be able to lie my way through it.

"L-Levi!" I gasped as I looked into his eyes that suddenly now showed no emotions at all.

"So that's how it is," He just said, before backing out of the room again. "Sorry to disturb you,"

The door closed again, leaving me with a horrible feeling in my stomach.

What had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this chapter! What was your favorite 'prank'?
> 
> The whole 'dildo' thing was definitely the most embarrassing - but my favorite has to be Levi drawing on Eren's face! I mean, can you just imagine Eren with whiskers on his cheeks? Kawaii!
> 
> And btw ... Armin wants a piece of dat Jaeger ass, haha ~


	5. Armin, What Are You Doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin is a sweet, lovable, cute, horny brat. He's craving that mineral

When it became evening, and it was time for us to sleep, I couldn't seem to get myself together. I had been standing in the bathroom for over an hour, trying to make to time pass. I had taken a shit, then a shower, and then I had brushed my teeth and my hair. Now, though, it seemed as if there was nothing else I could do to extend the time. I knew Levi had probably already gotten into bed, but I was afraid of what might happen once I did that as well. Would he mock me? Tell me I was disgusting, that I wasn't worthy of living? Levi's personality could, in my opinion, surely fit a homophobes way of thinking, I had no doubt about it. This war of ours that had been going on would probably only seem like child's play, until now. It was now that the real humiliation would begin, I was sure of that. So if I had been afraid of sleeping with him before, I was definitely terrified now.

I slowly, involuntarily, walked out into the hallway, and headed to my room. As I lay a hand on the doorknob to my room, I stood there for a moment to mentally prepare myself, before finally opening the door.

It was rather chilly inside, since the window was apparently still open, but otherwise it was quiet and there was no lights other than the natural light from the moon that shone through the window. As my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, I noticed that Levi was lying in his bed, but in a different position than usual. He usually crawled in under his duvet, facing the wall so that I could see nothing but his back – this night was different. This night, he was facing the rest of the room, so that he was able to face me. The worst part thought, was that he wasn't asleep. As I had walked inside and closed the door behind me, his eyes opened and locked themselves with mine for a long moment. None of us said anything, and the athmosphere soon felt so thick with tension, that you could cut it with a knife. When I finally felt as if I could move again, I walked towards the window, closing it, though with much difficulty. It was right behind my desk, So I had to lean over it reaching out to close it, all while feeling Levi's eyes still on me, making me feel rather uncomfortable in such a position.

When it was finally shut right, I turned around and headed into my own bed, crawling down under the covers and sighed lowly when I felt my whole body relax for the first time in god knows how many hours. Afterwards, when Armin had left, I had been afraid of seeing Levi, but of course it was inevitable. This was the first time I was in the same room as him again, and the thought that last time we had seen each other had been in this room. In this bed, to be exact, where he had discovered my relationship with Armin.

I had never really cared about anyone's opinion about my sexual orientation before, but for some reason it scared me to death that Levi knew.

We lay in our separate beds for several moments, none of us saying a word. I could still feel him watching me, but I was too frightened to turn my head and look back at him. I clenched my jaw, when the annoyance finally became too much, though.

"Will you cut it out?!" I said loudly, my voice sounding rather loud and high-pitched in the small bedroom. I finally turned my head to stare at him with an angry look.

"Cut what out?" He said, almost sounding innocent. This pissed me off greatly, though, and I sat up in my bed and turned my upper body to be fully able to talk to him.

"If you have something to say, then why don't you just say it?!" I hissed, clenching my right hand and pressed it down into my madras, wishing that it was his face instead. Levi sat up as well, his duvet sliding off into his lap to reveal his bare chest. His body was so petite, yet there was no doubt that he had muscles.

"I don't have anything to say," He just stated, shrugging his shoulders as if he had no idea what I was talking about. This seemed to piss me off more – was he really going to torment me like this? Was he really going to let me do all the talking? I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the very long speech that I had already made up in my mind when standing in the bathroom for that long.

"If you have a problem with me being gay, then – "

He didn't even let me finish the sentence, before interrupting me with, "I don't have a problem with you being gay,"

I blinked in surprise, my jaw dropping in astonishment.

"Wh-What?" I stammered, taking back by his blunt statement.

"I don't see the reason in hating gay people. They're humans, just like everyone else, so shaming them for just living the life that makes them most happy … I can't see the point in doing so," He further explained, still watching me with great intensity in those dark grey eyes of his that was almost impossible to spot in the darkness, if it wasn't because of the sparkle that I noticed in them. "So no, I don't hate you because you're gay. I hate you because you're a plain, hormonal, terrible little brat, just not because you're gay," He sent me a wide smirk, and before I could answer him properly, he turned around to face the wall and lay down in the bed again, pulling the duvet over his shoulders.

I sat there for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what he had said, so when I finally knew what to answer him, it was already too late. I fell onto my back again, looking up into the ceiling as I tightly grabbed the duvet over me, crinkling the sheets in the process.

"Jerk … " I mumbled, and though it wasn't really meant for him to hear, I could still hear him answer it not long after.

"Brat,"

\- - - - - 

The morning after, I had felt rather awkward everytime I found myself in the same room as him. Therefore, I had seemed it best for us all, if I wasn't at the house for the rest of the day.

"Mom," I exclaimed, as I stuck my head inside the kitchen where Levi and my mom was sitting at the table, reading magazines of some sort. "I'm going over to, err – " The minute Levi looked up and caught my gaze, I stopped midsentence. Sure, he had said that he wasn't against me and Armin, but that didn't remove the uncomfortable feeling I had about being open about it when he was around. " … Um, a friend's house. I'll probably be home late, so don't expect me back for dinner," I said, before quickly removing myself from the door opening, and towards the front door instead.

"Eren Jaeger, you come back here!" I heard my mom say loudly, and I cringed before turning around and walking back into the kitchen.

"... Yes?"

"If you're going to Armin's, then will you bring something with you? It's for his grandfather … Give me 2 seconds, I'll go find it," She said, leaving the room to go find whatever she wanted me to bring. I fiddled mindlessly with my shirt, as I waited for her to come back, and tried ignoring Levis staring while doing so. That was great mom, I thought to myself. Thanks for making it so obvious that I was going to Armin's house.

"If you're gonna get some action, then why don't you just stay the night there as well? You know, since you're spending so much time with him anyways,"

My neck snapped as I turned my head to look at him with a baffled expression. My cheeks turned crimson, as I took a step back.

"Sh-Shut up!" I said, though my voice had suddenly turned high-pitched. I slapped a hand over my mouth, as Levi just leaned back in his chair and laughed.

"Well, if you're not going to get a piece of that ass soon, somebody might just jump in and steal him away from you,"

As I tried coming with a response, my mouth had suddenly refused to work properly, and I ended up choking on my unspoken words, coughing severely.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable? My bad," He smirked at me, folding his hands behind his neck with a smug and self-satisfied look on his face. I sent him an evil glare, though it was almost ruined by my coughing.

Mom returned right at that moment, handing me a small present.

"There you go," She said, hitting my back mildly with a flat hand. "Are you alright, dear?"

"Y-Yes … I just got something caught in my throat," I mumbled when my coughs had faded away. I grabbed the present, putting it down into my shoulderbag.

"I'll see you _tonight_ ," I said, putting pressure on the last word when I sent Levi an annoyed look, before getting out of there as fast as I could.

I arrived at Armins house an hour after, even though I had been riding my bike as fast as I had thought possible. I showed up at his door, panting and removing sweat from my forehead, when Armin opened the door.

"Eren!" He said, ready to throw himself at me in an embrace. He managed to stop himself before that though, as he noticed how I looked. "Ugh, you smell," He grinned, waving his hand back and forth his nose dramatically to tease me.

"Oh shut up," I said, rolling my eyes, before stepping inside. Armin closed the door behind me and watched as I took off my shoes.

"Is your granddad around, by the way?" I asked, as I threw my jacket carelessly over the coat hook on the wall.

"He's sleeping in his study, so I doubt he wants to be disturbed right now," Armin mumbled, shrugging his shoulder. "Why?"

"My mom wanted me to give him this," I said, pulling the present out of my bag and showed it to Armin who took it in his own hands right after. "His birthday is coming up, right?"

Armin nodded, smiling widely at me. "Yeah, he'll be turning 85 on next monday,"

I sighed by the thought. I couldn't imagine myself being that old, and still be alive. But Armins granddad had always been an impressive man, not willing to bow down for even age. Sure, his body had become weak and fragile, but his mind was still as clear as day. Armin looked up to him very much, always ready to listen to his long stories about the old days. He had witnessed a lot in his life, and Armin always saw it as interesting, no matter what the stories were about. Eren couldn't really stand to listen to them, but he did for Armins sake – though, if there was a possibility of avoiding it, I would probably end up taking an escape after all.

"Just give it to him later, okay?" I said, and Armin nodded excitedly, before walking into another room to place the gift, while I took that opportunity to walk upstairs and into Armins bedroom.

I ended up turning his PS3 on, along with a Lego Harry Potter game, and brought two controllers with me as I sat down in his bed. I had just gotten under his duvet when he came inside the room again, closing the door behind him.

"So, I'm guessing that doing homework is out of the question?" He said with raised eyebrows, and I just grinned at him as an answer. He rolled his eyes in return, before getting under the duvet with me, sitting as close as he could, without actually touching me.

"Here," I threw the controller into his lap which he gladly took into his hands, and we began playing after that.

We sat there for three hours straight, with no breaks at all, and after we came into the fourth hour, Armin started to lose interest. Not that I was surprised by that, it had actually been impressive that he had made it this far already without falling asleep. I had always been good at really living myself into the games that I played, actually to the point of becoming so obsessed with winning them before being able to shut the game off. Armin had the same obsessive part of his personality, but instead of games, he was just that way with books instead. He rarely ate or slept when he was into a new, interesting book, and it was hard to keep a conversation with him, when he couldn't even make out a full sentence.

It was quite the opposite now though, as he shut his controller off, and instead started watching me play instead. I didn't even notice him not participating, too invested in the game, until I felt a hand on my knee under the covers. I felt my body going stiff at first, before fully relaxing only seconds after. I then continued playing, oblivious to Armins small huffs, trying to hint at me that he was bored.

His chin rested itself on my shoulder, the top of his head nudging my neck lightly, as if he was a cat that wanted to be petted.

"Armin, cut it out, I'm trying to kill the basilisk!" I protested weakly, my eyes not moving for one second from the the screen to even look at him. If I had done that, I would have seen the annoyed pout that he was making right at that moment.

"But Ereeeeen," He purred, though he didn't do anything else for the next few minutes, until I had finally slayed the snake.

"Yessss, finally!" I whined in relief, as I leaned back against the cold wall behind me with a loud sigh. I closed my eyes as I pressed a button to pause the game, giving myself a short break. I had almost forgotten about Armin, but that would soon change. The hand still on my knee had been there for so long that it felt like a part of me, but once it started moving again, I became _very much_ aware of it.

My eyes was opened immediately, just to notice that Armin wasn't looking at me. He was looking down, trying to hide how his cheeks had turned crimson in embarassment and nervousness.

"A-Armin?" I muttered surprised, a small and surprised gasp leaving my lips as his hand slided down my inner thigh. "Wh-What are you d-doing?"

Armin gulped, and he seemed rather hesistant at that moment, ignoring my words. Instead he suddenly threw his right leg over mine, so that he could sit on my lap, with both his knees at my sides, holding me in place. Now sitting in my lap, he had gotten higher with a few centimeters extra, so I was now forced to tilt my head back a bit to be able to look him in the eyes. He was already looking down at me, and I had now full visibility to his blushing face.

"Armin," I said again, but this time I focused on not stammering like before. I reached over to grab his waist so I could remove him from me, but he had already grabbed my wrists and was now pressing them down at his own thighs.

All I could do now, was look at him in horror.

"What are you doing?"

"Yesterday, we… " He mumbled lowly, before blushing even more. "After yesterday, I just …" It didn't really seem like he was able to form full sentences, so nervous he was. I could even feel my own heart beating faster. What the hell was he thinking?

"We've been a couple for so long, but the only kisses we share are normally too short and dispassionate … So I thought that maybe … " He bit down in his lips, as his hand finally reached its destination, where my manhood was under lock and key by my pants. I yelped soundlessly, not even being able to hide my face with my hands, as my cheeks turned a slighter shade of red. " … That maybe we should experiment a little bit more," He finally concluded.

I forced myself to look him in the eyes, even though the embarassment of the situation was almost too much to take.

" … I-I don't think that's a good idea," I almost whispered, shaking my head lightly. I felt like my head was getting dizzy, and the air was suddenly way thicker than before, making it a struggle to breathe properly.

"Why not?" Armin protested, his voice being much louder than mine. "We're a couple, right? Aren't couples supposed to do _this_?"

As he had said that last words, his hand started sliding over the bulge of my pants, teasing what was beneath the fabric. It hadn't gone hard yet, but it was only a matter of time, and I really didn't want to see that happening.

"Yeah, I guess, but … " I felt like I had no good remark at that. This _was_ what you were supposed to do with your boyfriend after all, so why didn't I want to? I didn't have an answer for that either, since I wasn't really able to think straight, so I just went with the first thing that entered my mind. "But you're granddad is downstairs!" I protested, my hands grabbing his small, delicate legs to underline how serious I was. He didn't stop though, he just snickered lowly.  
"He's sleeping, and you know just as well as I do that he can't hear all that well anymore,"

Armin leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my head slightly in another direction which caused his lips to crash with my cheek instead.

"Why are you so eager all of the sudden? This is not like you at all, Armin!" I said, as I closed my eyes shut. I was right, this was not like him at all, taking the situation into his own hand, trying to take charge like this. It went against everything in his personality that was usually delicate, shy and sweet.

"Because you never take the first step!" Armin accused, before releasing my wrist. "A-And … I have urges too, you know! I want to do these kind of things with you … "

Before I could say anything, he had suddenly pulled my zipper down to loosen my pants, so that his right hand could slide down into my boxers and grab my member that had already gotten halfway-hard.

The sudden grip that his tender, cold hand had gotten forced a cry of pleasure from my mouth, as I trembled lightly.

"N-No, Armin – " I managed to say inbetween pants, but Armin quickly silenced me by pressing his lips against mine in a sloppy manner.  
"Do you like it?" He asked sweetly as he started to stroke it gently. My own grip on his legs tightened slightly as I closed my eyes. I was having very mixed signals about this, making me very confused. I didn't want to do this, but at the same time, the pleasure … It was too overpowering. It made me not able to think straight, and after all … Why the fuck not? Armin was my boyfriend, wasn't he? I should just enjoy the fact that he even wanted to touch me like this, right?

I bit my lip, trying to cover up the embarassing sounds that I had started to make. I then nodded weakly as the answer that he was waiting for, and if I didn't have closed eyes at that moment, I would have seen a satisfied smile on his face.

"Good … Because there is no one that I would do this with, but you … " He whispered into my ear. "I love you, Eren. I want you to be my first,"

With that comment, I bit so hard down on my bottom lip that I could taste a vague metallic fluid appearing on it as soon as I ran my tongue over it. I remembered what Levi had said that morning about me _getting some action_ and _having a piece of that ass_. As I imagined Levi in front of me saying those words, I moaned out loudly, when Armins hand started moving faster. The movements made me open my eyes, and at that moment my eyes caught a familiar pair of grey onces a few meters away, standing in the door. As I had just imagined him in the exact clothes, looking exactly like that, inside my dizzy head it just made sense to me that it was just the after-image of him from my imagination – just like when you look at the sun and then closes your eyes, but you still see a bright yellow circle in the middle of the blackness.

"L-Levi," I moaned his name, after panting rather heavily. His face expression changed after that, from stonecold to an astonished look, and both his cheeks turned a dark red as he blushed. He raised his hand to cover up his mouth, though he didn't move from his spot. As both Armin and I was breathing rather loudly, it appeared that Armin hadn't even heard what I had said. Instead he just kept at it until I felt a warmth in my abdomen spreading, and I released in his hand soon after, moaning loudly and keeping my eyes locked tight with the raven. When I was done, my head fell back against the wall, closing my eyes in the process.

When I opened them again, the Levi from the doorway was gone, which confirmed that what I had been seeing was just a fidgement of my own imagination, and I let out a sigh as I turned back to focus on Armin who was looking at his hand.

"E-Eren," He panted, looking at me with his large, innocent eyes, as if nothing had just happened.

"What the hell, Armin?" I exclaimed, after finally finding my voice again. "You can't just do that!"

"But … Didn't it feel good?" He said, looking baffled at me, as if he couldn't understand that I was mad.

"Y-Yeah, it did … " I hesitated for a moment, before coming to my senses again. " … But you can't just violate me like that! I wasn't ready for it at all," I pulled myself away from him so that I could close my pants zipper again. When I looked back at him, his eyes were glassy and his bottom lip was trembling.

 _Fuck, not again_ , I thought, sighing lowly. "Please don't cry," I begged him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I liked it, okay? I just want you to tell me next time, so I can actually prepare myself,"

He nodded slowly, and I quickly hugged him to make him feel better.

At least he was acting like his own self again.

"I'm gonna wash this off," He said afterwards, pointing to his right hand before going into the bathroom.

"I'll get some water," I nodded, feeling a bit awkward as I watched him leave the room. All that panting and moaning had made my throat dry, and I felt like I could bottom at least 3 glasses of water after something like this.

I crawled out of the bed, and went out in the hallway. There was no lights on out here, so I had to fumble my way towards the staircase. I sighed as I finally found it, glad that there was at least some natural light at the end of it that came from the front door. I had only gotten halfway down, though, when I heard a rustle in on of the other rooms.  
"J-Jerry?" I stammered out in the otherwise empty room, thinking that it was probably Armins granddad that had woken up from us being so loud.

But the reality of it was much worse than I had expected.

"Oh, there you are! Finally. I've been calling you all afternoon, but you didn't bring you goddamn phone with you," Mikasa scolded me, as she appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Dad wants you home, it's apparently really important," She crossed her arms over her chest, and smiled at me.  
"M-Mikasa?" I said in utter shock. "Wh-What … Wh-Why … Did you hear anything?"

"Me? No," Mikasa furrowed her brows, as she finally noticed my terrified face expression. "What's wrong Eren?"

I shook my head, as relief rushed over my body. At least she hadn't heard what had happened upstairs, but that just opened up a new set of questions.

"Then why didn't you come upstairs to tell me that you were here?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my belly as I suddenly got an uncomfortable feeling in the stomach.

"Don't play dumb, Eren," Mikasa sighed, rolling her eyes, as she started walking towards the start of the stairs. "Levi came with me over here. He was just up there, telling you to hurry up? … Well, he's sitting in the car now, but he said that you would be right down,"

It felt as if every brick in the world had been thrown at my body. All blood left my face, as I slowly discovered what this meant ….

Levi had seen it. He had been there. It hadn't just been my imagination, he had atually been standing in the freaking door … How long had he been standing there, watching us?

I still remembered how his eyes had been staring at me, focusing on nothing else but my own eyes. I had even been moaning his name … When I came!

"Fuck," I hissed under my breath, as I bit into my lip one more time, resulting in blood appearing once again on it. "Give me two seconds," I said to a confused Mikasa, as I ran up the stairs again and into Armins room. He was in the middle of turning the PS3 off, when I came in, and he looked up at me with a smile.

"I'm sorry Armin, but I have to go. Mikasa is waiting for me downstairs. Apparently it's important," I deliberately didn't tell him about Levi, since that thought would probably scar him for life, so I just ended up hugging him quickly, before running out of the room again, almost making it seem like I was escaping.

I got down to Mikasa who was waiting patiently at the door, and she held it open for me as I had gotten my shoes and coat on.

Mikasa walked in a fast pace towards the car and I kept up with it – that was, until I noticed the back of Levi's head in the front seat of the car. Mikasa had already opened the door to the driver's seat even before I had even gotten to the car, and this made Levi aware that we were both here. I could see how his face turned around to try and find me, and it felt almost like slow motion when our eyes met. His whole face was so flustered that even his ears were redder than normal. Our eye contact was broken almost immediately when his cheeks got an even darker shade of red, and his neck snapped as he quickly turned around again. I was blushing as well, and I felt so embarassed when I got into the back seat behind him.

Well, at least I wouldn't be able to look at him like this.

The rest of the ride home was in complete silence. Mikasa could feel the awkward athmosphere in the car as well, so she luckily didn't try to start a conversation or anything like that.

When we finally got home, I bolted out of the car and ran into the house before they had even managed to open their own doors to get out.

"Eren Jaeger, young man! We are having a family meeting right now, so you better come in here!" I could hear my dad exclaim from the livingroom, and when I heard the serious tone in his voice, I knew that I couldn't just hide in my room for the rest of the day.

"Why do we have a family meeting on a sunday?" I asked instead, my body going numb as I forced myself into the room and onto the armchair. Both my parents were already sitting on the couch, holding hands and looking at me with smiles.

"It's a last-minute kind of family meeting," My mom said with a mild tone, though thightening her grip around my dad's hand. When the front door was opened again and Mikasa and Levi appeared in the livingroom as well, they were instructed to sit down, and I forced myself to look everywhere else than in Levi's direction. Of course he just had to choose the armchair that was right in front of me though, just across the livingroom table.

"So what is this all about?" Mikasa said, crossing her arms over her chest, her face as stoic as ever.

"Well, you see … "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely hate this ending of the chapter, but it just became soooo long, and I suddenly needed to end it somehow.   
> Well, it IS kinda important for the story what Grisha and Carla are going to tell them ... You can guess if you want to!


	6. Sexual Harassment

Finally alone.

I took a deep breath when sitting down at the empty table, feeling relaxed at last. It had been a particurlarly long day, and it was like I could feel my whole body ache everytime I moved, which only confirmed how tired I was.

Was school supposed to kill you? I was certainly feeling the grasp of death's cold, slender hands around me … Or was I just being dramatic again?

I sighed, placing my bag on the chair beside me, so that it was easier to pull out the notebook from it. It was filled with small scribbles without any meaning to them, used only when I was slightly bored in class. It was no different now either – there was no real objective in being here, at this time of the day, at this exact location. I had placed myself at the very back of the the library, as far away from social contact as possible. This place was only used for … No, it actually wasn't used at all. Its existence had no meaning, other than gather dust in silence and be a safe haven for students like myself.

The idle chatter of my fellow students could vaguely be heard in my little corner, and I knew that they weren't actually far away. But the many bookshelves between us muffled the sounds extensively, giving me the peace and quiet that I needed.

In school I was always surrounded, and it was no different at home. But at least Armin could leave to his own home after school – I was forced to go home with Levi and stay there with him. And today, of all days, I just couldn't handle the pressure of being in the same room with any of them. After yesterday's incident, I was still having a hard time looking Levi in the eyes, and it was the same with Armin.

Well, at least Armin was acting the same as always, even though it had been quite surprising at first. How was he not affected by what had happened? Did he not feel embarassed at all? I had to admit that it was a bit frustrating to witness Armin acting like that, when I felt horrible. We hadn't even talked about what had happened, and I wasn't even sure that I wanted to. The thought of being the one bringing it up, when I didn't even know how I felt about it … Or maybe I did know, and I just couldn't admit it?

No, no, I didn't want to think about that now. This was my alone time, and I needed to treasure it, to enjoy it fully. I threw my legs up on the table, pushing my ass forward on the chair so that it wouldn't be uncomfortable to lean my neck on the end of the chair's back. I closed my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest tightly in an attempt to hide myself from reality, diving into the unknown.

As I was just about to slip into unconsciousness, I started to feel something warm and humid on my left cheek. My eyes snapped open, just to be blinded once more. I blinked a few times to get better vision, making it easier to see the details. With this, I realised that I was looking into a dark pair of eyes, that was way too close to my own.  
"Waaaah!" I whined in fright as I tried to push my body back, as far away from the person as possible. The chair I was sitting in was tipped backwards, and as I could suddenly feel gravity take a grip on me, a hand grabbed the chair before completely falling down. My whole body froze up as I recognised the person in front of me.

"Levi?!" I gasped, as the whole chair beneath stayed in the middle of the motion. Why wasn't he pulling me up?

"Oi, brat. What are you doing here, sleeping like that?"

"I needed some time alone," I just muttered, trying to avoid eye contact with him. He seemed to notice, yet he still kept his eyes on me.

"Hmm? Avoiding me?"

"No! Wh-Why would I do that?"

"Well, there's always because you – "

Before he could say anything else, I quickly interrupted him with, " _If_ it was you whom I was avoiding, then it would be because you're just a big bully!"

He raised an eyebrow, pushing his hand forward, thereby pushing the chair further backwards. A gasp left my lips as I feared he would drop me on the floor.

"What are you doing? Get me up!"

"Who are you calling a bully, hmm?"

My hands reached up to grab the collar of his shirt, letting him be a security blanket – if he was to drop me on the floor, then I was going to take him with me.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about! Shit, just stop fucking around, Levi!" I growled under my breath, and for the second time today I looked him in the eyes.

"Oh yeah? The last time I remember anybody fucking around, it was you," He teased, sending me a smirk that caused the crimson colour appearing on both my cheeks.

"Shut up!" I quickly retorted, sending a kick to his stomach with my foot. This surprised him so much to the extent of letting go of the chair. The air left my lungs as I fell down, the back of my head hitting the floor hard when getting in contact with it.

I grunted in pain, rolling off the chair in the process, and onto my stomach.

"I can't believe you actually went to use physical violence," I could hear Levi say behind me, which made me roll my eyes.

"You were being a pain in my ass," I grunted in annoyance, before proceeding to push myself up on my hands and knees.

"Oh? I thought you liked that kind of thing," Levi said, grinning. Before I could do anything else, I felt a hand slapping my ass, and I gasped in astonishment, never in my life actually believing that would happen. "Or maybe it's more pleasure than pain, right?"

I almost jumped up into a standing position, turning around to stare at Levi, not really knowing how to respond to him. My hands reached down to cover up my ass, and my mouth was slighthy open in horror, still trying to comprehend what had actually happened.

"I think this is called sexual harassment," I said, trying my best not to stammer. This just made Levi laugh.

"And who would believe that?" He said with a raised eyebrow, before turning around and walking away. When reaching the corner, he turned his head to send me a smile.

"I'll be looking forward to the weekend, aye?"

With that he disappeared again, leaving me behind.

Oh yeah, that was right. This weekend, my parents had gotten some kind of offer. Well, I didn't know if it was some kind of present or whatsnot, all I had been told was that we had gotten a free vacation home in mountains, at some sort of resort. It was apparently a very expensive place, so even if we had plans, we would have to cancel them so that we could come.

The thought of having to spend the entire weekend with my family and Levi was not something that I was looking forward to, and even my excuses like homework wouldn't be able to help me get out of this.

And now this … Had Levi tried to actually make a pass at me? Or was he only teasing?

No, that couldn't be. He hated me just as much as I hated him, there was simply no way that he was doing this for any other reason than the fun of mocking me.

\- - - - -

"Earth to Eren. Hey, wake up already,"

My hand flew up to my face to defend it, as my cheeks had already been pinched several times now. I opened my eyes to stare at Armin's familiar blue eyes, but instead of keeping our eyes locked to each others, I turned my head to face Mikasa instead.

"I'm awake," I said with a grumpy expression on my face, my voice matching it very well.

"Alright," She just said, not bothering to pry. That's what I liked about Mikasa – she might be a little too overprotective, but at least she didn't step over the line when it came to my personal life. "Answer to question B?"

"X is 46," I murmured, letting my nail dig into the wooden table in front of me. It was wednesday after school, and Mikasa, Armin and I was staying to do our homework. I had drifted off in the process, giving Armin the opportunity to nudge me several times. This was actually the only contact we had had with each other since sunday, which wasn't coincidental. I had trying to avoid anything physical with him, simply because I had started to feel uncomfortable when he was near me.

And that was a bad sign, wasn't it? I was supposed to feel like I could act like myself around my lover, yet it was just the opposite. And since I had no idea how to fix the problem, I just did the next best thing – avoiding it.

"And C?" Mikasa continued, and I sent a glance at the paper before answering, "112,"

Math was easy after my opinion – if you just new the right method, then there wasn't really anything that you wouldn't be able to solve. It was so much easier than real world problems, which was why it was something I liked doing more than any of our other classes. I didn't get worse grades in those grades, it was just because I favored this class more than them. This was actually something that I could wrap my head around – I had decided at some point that if I had to give a damn in school, then math would be the least horrible thing to care about. And I had to care about something, otherwise I would probably go mad.

"Do the rest yourselves, I have to go to the toilet," I sighed, standing up and leading myself out of the library without giving them another look. It was almost as if I could feel them sending each other looks of concern for me, but I didn't really care at this point. How was I supposed to concentrate about school work, when so much more of importance was going on in my life that needed attention?

I still needed to figure out what to do about the trip this weekend _and_ my relationship with Armin _and_ what I was going to do about the situation with Levi … Speaking about that, he had been acting really strange the last couple of days. Not to be surprised about that if you thought what had caused it, but his behaviour was indeed rather … peculiar.

I was having a hard time even trying to figure out what was going on in his mind, since it was like he was changing his mood constantly. He could go from a cold, mean look to getting all flustered, and that was even when we hadn't even started a conversation yet. He just seemed to become more and more strange by the minute, and it made me second guess my thoughts of him as well.

Before I had a hard time even seeing him as someone worth being giving the title of 'person with human qualities'. Okay yes, I was being melodramatic again, but overall I didn't see him as someone with feelings and a personality. He had been like an evil, empty vessel, whose only mission was to make my life miserable.

But now it seemed like he had changed. Slowly, yes, but at least it was going forward. Well, if you didn't think about him slapping my ass, that is. But I just chose to add that to the 'List of Awkward Incidents by Levi'. Short, it was called LAIL. Okay, maybe I had just made that up. Whatever.

I reached the bathroom, but instead of actually doing anything, I just placed myself in front of the mirror, watching my reflection.

There were decisions that I had to make, I knew that very well. The thoughts had been hidden far back in my mind, but I knew that they had to be taken into consideration at some point. Was that time now? I wasn't completely sure. It felt like time was moving too fast, that suddenly so many things were happening, and I couldn't keep up.

I was fighting a losing battle, so when was the time to call quits?

When was the time to see things for what they really were? When was I going to accept the fact, that it just wasn't working anymore? And worst of all … When was I – No, _how_ was I going to tell him all of this? How was I going to tell him that it was over?

How was I going to tell Armin Arlert, the boy I loved but would never be in love with, that I wanted to break up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually only a - um, what do you call it? a 'filler' chapter?
> 
> Well, that's because some serious shit is going down in next chapter. I'm serious, it's gonna be soooo freaking long, and it's going to be filled with a lot of drama and awkwardness, and some riren/ereri (fucking finally) aaaaand ....... MORE awkwardness! 
> 
> Yay for being awkward, right?


	7. Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you realise I stayed up all night doing this for you? On a freaking school night? You better enjoy ~

I leaned back in the car, relieved that it was finally over. No more homework, no more feeling uncomfortable around Armin, and no more thinking. I could just shut my mind off, close my eyes and relax. Well, in theory I was supposed to be relaxing on the vacation in about 2 days, but it almost felt like I was going to be more stressed out there, than at home. At least here I could escape from the whole situation with Levi. There was no way that I could that, when we were going to be stuck together for the whole weekend. There was no possible way that we wouldn't get into several fights there, and I didn't think I'd have the mentality for that right now.

Right now, I needed to focus on what to do about Armin. When to do it, how to do it, what to say … There was still so many unanswered questions and I was sure of none of it, however there was one thing that I was sure of.

It was already decided from my part. We just didn't fit together that way, and I should have noticed before, but somehow … It was hard not to get my emotions mixed up. How was I supposed to know what kind of love I felt for Armin had been in a romantic way, or a platonic?

At least, I knew now. Well, I might have been aware of it all this time, but at least I was sure now. Wait … Did being aware of it mean, that I had lead him on? That I had lied to him all this time?

No, that couldn't be. I might have felt uncomfortable, but what we had … That had been real.

… Right? Our relationship wasn't just built on the fact that we had both been conveniently into boys?

No, this was giving me a headache, thinking about it like this. I needed my mind to be empty tonight, not filled with worrying thoughts like this.

Mikasa stopped the car, and for a moment we just sat there in silence. Since no one moved even an inch for more than a dozen seconds, silence filled the car, making the athmosphere awkward.

"Eren, I've been thinking," She started out, though she was still staring out the window instead of at me. I was the only one moving, as I turned my head to face her.

"What?"

"You seem to be really distracted lately. You don't focus on your homework at all anymore, and it worries me,"

I sighed, glad that it had only been about school work. In my mind, I had been thinking of various worse reasons for her to want to have a serious talk.

"I won't allow you to ignore your responsibilities, Eren. This is your future, you need to take it more serious,"

I raised an eyebrow as I moved to sit more comfortable in the small car. I seriously didn't need a lecture from her right now when I was dealing with so much more important stuff.

"Sure, whatever Mikasa," I just answered, wanting this conversation over with as quickly as possible. If I started telling her why school was the last thing on my mind right now, she would just keep blabbering on, and truth be told, I had no patience to listen to her ramble on about my future, career and knowledge. I knew it all already, so there was really no need.

"Eren, I'm serious! Father is expecting us to succeed, we can't disappoint him,"

I pouted, placing my hand on the door knob.

"I knooooow," I dragged the word out to underline my annoyance with her. "Can we just get inside already?"

Before she could answer I had already opened the door and gotten out. It was merely 10 metres before getting inside the house, where both my parents were already home.

"We're home!" I hummed with a monotone voice, as I always did, and my mother answered with a "Welcome home, children!" as she always did. I immediately went into the kitchen to rummage around the refrigerator for the leftovers from dinner.

"Potatoes!" I exclaimed in excitement as I pulled out the container and placed it on the kitchen counter. "Delicious," Mikasa answered, already looking over my shoulder to see as well.

She grabbed two plates and held them up while I poured the food onto them.

"Did you all eat already?" I yelled through the house, and my mom appeared in front of the kitchen door a few seconds later.  
"Yeah, Levi got home two hours ago, and dinner was ready then. How come you guys are so late?"

I just shrugged, which earned me a judgemental look from Mikasa, before she answered with the sentence, "We had to catch up on homework. Eren's been slacking off,"

"Mikasa!" I squealed and nudged her shoulder, which at least made her crack a slight smile.

"It's the truth," She just said while shrugging which she clearly only did as payback.

"Eren, you need to be more serious with your school work!" My mom started, and sent Mikasa a death glare as she left the kitchen so that my mom could corner me and start the lecture that I had been trying to avoid.

_Ugh, women._

\- - - - - 

The potatoes had really filled me on, giving me a stomach ache that had left me in bed at an early hour. I was just snuggling under my duvet, snoring lightly as the dream world was slowly taking a grip around me. It was just past 8 in the evening, and the light from the window had started to dimmer quicker and quicker. It had soon left the room in complete darkness, which was something to be expected since we were still in the cold winter months. There wasn't even any natural light left from the moon, but none of this was worrying me, since my own eyes were shut tight. Mikasa probably wanted me to spend my evening a little different than this, reading for the test in algebra, but there was really no way that I would get up from this comfortable bed right now. I felt at ease right now, with no concerning thoughts at all … My own body was in a state that just felt so damn good, it was like drinking cold water on a hot summer day. After a stressed week, to finally be able to just lie around and doing nothing – it felt great.

That's why I probably didn't mind as much as I should have, when Levi entered the room quietly. None of us said anything, and even though my whole body was covered by the duvet, the top of my head was sticking out just enough to let me watch his movements. He was walking over to his own bed slowly, and with only his back facing me, he grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. I couldn't help but to get jealous of seeing the perfect set of abs on him mixed with his small hips and lean posture. This wasn't something that you would easily notice when just watching Levi with clothes on, but when he took them off, he looked amazing. This was the first time seeing it for me, and I was definitely taken back because of it. I still remembered the first time I had seen him the day he moved in, where I had been mocking him in my head, being happy that I had stronger, bigger muscles than him.

He had looked so scrappy then, it was almost unbelievable that under his clothes, he was hiding such amazing –

"Liking what you see?"

The sudden comment made me let out a small gasp under my breath, but since there was no other noises than that, it was safe to assume that he had heard it.

So he knew that I was awake? … And watching him?

"Oh please,"

I mumbled, rolling my eyes in a sarcastic tone. He had turned around to face me, and it was hard not to notice the smirk on his face.

"Hmm? You've seen better?" He said, raising his eyebrows while walking towards my bed. Since he was encountering me like this, I felt that it would be rather awkward to keep hiding myself under my duvet, like a chicken. So I pulled myself up into a half sitting position, leaning up against the wall that was at the end of my bed.

"I haven't seen it, I have it," I corrected him with a tone that almost convinced myself. Of course it wasn't true, mine weren't nearly as clear and conspicuous as his, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"I'll believe that when I see it," Levi laughed mockingly, looking down at me. Right at that moment I noticed his eyes sparkling, and only a second after had he sat down on the edge of my bed, leaning in over me. He reached out to grab the duvet and pulling it down to reveal my torso. I wasn't naked, thank god, I was still wearing the shirt from earlier on. But Levi wasn't stopping there. His hands grabbed the buttons and started to loosen the shirt one by one.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Is there any other way to settle whose are better, than to actually be able to compare?" He just said, but there was a coldness in his voice that I detected.

What was he planning, exactly?

He didn't even bother with the last two buttons, as he ended up just ripping it open. I was too shocked to speak, and it was when his fingertips started sliding over my stomach that I even felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

His touches left a burning feeling everywhere his fingers went, and I bit on my lip not to gasp everytime he reaches new, untouched skin.

"I think it's pretty clear whose is better … " Levi said lowly, his voice fading out in the end, as if he was thinking of something.

"Then stop touching me!" I exclaimed, trying to grab the hands that was on my upper body. His right hand escaped, but I managed to grab the left one.

"Oh?" He said, looking at me, though his face expression didn't even change the slightest. "I thought you liked this kind of thing?"

Both my eyebrows flew up when he said that, leaving me in utter surprise.

"What the hell gave you that impression?!" I demanded to know, searching my own mind for clues as to what I might have said to him earlier.

"That _thing_ you were doing with your little lover boy … " Levi answered with a whisper, before leaning closer. "Don't make me say it out loud,"

I gulped loudly, as I instantly knew what he was talking.

Oh fuck, that. So this confirmed it … He had really been standing in the doorway, watching us.

"You're such a pervert," I said, as it was the first thing that popped into my mind. "I can't believe you would just stand there, and – "

" _I'm_ the pervert?" He said, almost sounding amused by the thought. "As I recall, you were the one moaning my name, while Armin was doing all sorts of dirty things to you …. " Levi looked up and down my body, before his eyes returned to mine again. "So you get a turn on, thinking about me?"

I made a grimace by just the thought.

"No way," I said, shaking my head, but it didn't sound as convincing as it had done in my head.

"Oh really? Because you were a complete mess last time when you were just thinking about doing it with me … I truly wonder how you'd react, if … " He didn't say any more, but he actually really did. Actions spoke louder than words, and Levi was definitely making a statement. His right hand that was still free, had reached down under my duvet, cupping the bulge in my pants and starting to rub it lightly.

 _Why was everyone so crazy about doing this to me?!_ Was the only thing going through my mind at this point, and it was like I had lost all control over my body. I couldn't move my arms properly, or stop the small twitching that my body was doing as a reaction.

"S-Stop!" I protested weakly, not at all wanting to do this. This was wrong on so many levels. I had a boyfriend, we slept in the same room, he wasn't even gay, and the worst of all – I hated him!

"Then push me away," He dared me, before leaning closer.

 _No_ , was all I could think, as the space between our faces got closer and closer. _No, no, no!_

And then his lips crashed with mine, and it was like an explosion of mixed tastes and movements and confusion. Even though he was fast, his movements wasn't sloppy in any manner. It was like he knew exactly what to do, and it was something that I had never experienced before. And that was meant as literally, since I had only gotten this far with Armin once, yet this didn't even get close to what we were doing right now.

It felt like I couldn't even pull away, that all I could do was to just cooperate, trying to keep up with him, even though it was clear that he was the one dominating me.

_Dominating me?!_

No, this had to stop. This was so wrong, even thinking how good it felt was wrong … I definitely had to stop it from developing any further.

"Nghhh!" I vaguely protested into his mouth, the unspoken words leaving a buzzing feeling between our lips. This only seemed to encourage him further on – though perhaps that could also be the bulge in my pants getting relatively hard that was doing most of the encouraging – to let his tongue play with mine in another dominating game. I felt like a mess under him, and a part of me knew why I wasn't resisting as much as I should.

I was _conflicted._

I hated this guy so freaking much … So how come this felt a thousand times better than what had happened with Armin? Was it even possible for a person that you hated more than anything else to have such an effect on your body?

That much was clear, though – this guy repulsed me, I definitely couldn't stand him.

With those thoughts in mind, I found the strength to place my hands on his chest and push him away with as much force as I had in me.

This was apparently a little to much, since his small body flew far all the way over to the ground where his own bed was standing. For a moment we just stared at each other, the only sound you could hear was the heavy pants from both of us, before he started yelling.

"What the hell, brat?!"

"Shhh!" I shushed at him, afraid that someone would hear, and come inside. Levi seemed to just get even more irritated by this though, as he stood up and brushed the dust off his pants while sending me a look that could kill.

"Why the fuck did you do that?"

Was he serious? Did he really not understand how much I resented him?

"Why the fuck did you do that?! You have no right to assault me like that!"

"Assault you?" He said with a genuine astonished face expression, as he walked over to my bed again to sit on the edge. "That's bullshit!"

I sat up to straighten my back properly, crossing my arms to cover my bare chest since I couldn't cover it with the duvet when Levi was sitting on it. I was just glad that the duvet was still covering my erection that otherwise would have been very much noticable.

"What else would you call it, when someone forces someone down and does things that the other person doesn't want?!"

"Doesn't want?!" He repeated again, and his astonished face appeared again. I rolled my eyes, getting tired of him pretending to be so damn innocent.

"Stop repeating everything that I say, when you damn well know that's what happened!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Him screaming those words was so sudden that I froze in place, not knowing how to react. This took he to his advantage, climbing up in my bed and sitting down on top of me. _Fuck, right on top of_ … I could only hope that he wouldn't move around too much, because the friction would definitely be too … Distracting.

His hands landed on my shoulders, pressing me up against the wall, and even though my hands were still free, I couldn't do anything else than grab his wrists. That didn't do too much good though, and it became clear to me that I had only been able to push him away before, because he had been too surprised.

"Why are you lying to me?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?!" I said, making a grimace as he shoved me against the wall behind me again. "Get off me!"

"Stop pretending that you don't know. You're the one who's sending all the signals,"

Signals? What the hell was he talking about? I was getting really damn confused now.

"What?" I just said, looking up at him while trying to keep a straight face. I truly had no idea what he was talking about.

"You like me," He finally spat out, staring down at me with burning eyes. My jaw dropped as I tried to comprehend what he was saying.

"Wha – no I don't!"

"You do,"

"NO!"

"You're the one who is thinking of me when getting a handjob from your so-called boyfriend. You moaned my freaking name, don't deny it!"

"I – " I wanted to yell that he was wrong, but theoretically, it was true. I had been thinking about him when it had happened, but it hadn't been because I liked him. I had just remembered something that he had said that very morning. So instead I answered him with another question.

"Even if that is true, then why are you acting on it? I'm the gay one here, not you. And surely my so-called _feelings_ shouldn't have an effect on you, since it's one-sided, right?"

This seemed to silence him, if only for a moment. I knew that I had hit a nerve, it was clear on his face, even if it was only for a second before he changed it again.

"You little shit!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the reacting my comment had caused. This resulted in him shoving me into the wall once more, but it was worth it.

"Let me make this clear, I don't like you. Not at all, I hate you. I always have. You touching me is just disgusting to me,"

Levi's eyes got small and I hard to use all my willpower not to break eye contact with him. I was trying to look calm and collected, but in reality I was very much afraid of what he could do.

Was I pushing it too far?

"Stop turning it around to make me look like the fool! You're the disgusting one," He said, looking rather furious. I had hit a soft spot again, apparently.

"I can't believe you actually thought I liked you!" I just said, cracking a mocking smile in the process. I knew I was going to a dangerous place, but I couldn't really help myself. This was a perfect opportunity to get back at him. He really was the fool in this particular situation, actually believing and acting on something that he had only built up in his head. "So was that why you've been harassing me all this time? You wanted my attention?"

"You little shit." Levi grabbed the loose collars of my shirt, pulling me towards me as he growled. "Don't you fucking think for even a second that I ever liked you. You're just a little brat who's easy to mess around with. Don't think that I couldn't kick your ass right here and now if I wanted too,"

I gulped. Looking into his dark eyes, I knew that he was telling the truth about beating me up. He was always serious about that.

He seemed really off edge, though. Everything I had said up until now had only been shit that just came into my mind, it wasn't actually something that I believed myself.

Levi liking me? There was just no way. But even if that wasn't true, I could still tease him about it. It seemed as if I had hit a nerve when saying it last time, judging by the way he had reacted. Maybe he was afraid of being teased about being gay? Maybe what he had just done, was just a fucked up way to harass me again?

"Are you running low on ideas to harass me? You, going ahead and doing this to me, just to fuck with me?" I asked, the words just coming out of my mouth. I regretted saying them, but truth be told I actually wanted to know.

Something seemed to settle within Levi, I could tell, as he suddenly smirked, his eyes cold as ice again.  
"That's right, you little shit. I was just harassing you, and don't you think for even a second that I was doing it because of anything else,"

I looked at him for a long moment, not knowing what to think of this.

"Dick" I finally said, just to end the silence and the tension between us.

"Brat," He mumbled, shoving me into the wall one last time before getting off my bed and into his own.

I was awake for a long time after that. Not knowing if he was asleep, I just lay there, afraid to speak or move. The only thought that kept recurring in my mind until I fell asleep was the debating question that kept me up longer than necessary.

Did like Levi like me or not?

\- - - - - 

I woke up that morning with a throbbing headache, which gave me a bad feeling that this wasn't going to be a very good day.

It was a thursday morning, so the first thing I did was getting dressed and grabbing my backpack. I headed downstair where I was met with my family eating breakfast together.

 _This is odd_ , I thought to myself, as I slowly walking in, silently announcing my presence.

"You're finally awake!" Someone squealed, and to my surprise I noticed that it was Levi's voice. He was sitting in front of my parents, while Mikasa was sitting in the end. She was looking rather glum, while Levi looks almost … Excited.

What was going on?

"Come and sit. We wanna eat breakfast together, since we haven't done it in such a long time," Mom explained, sending me a smile that instantly relaxed me.

"Okay," I mumbled, sitting down rather catious at Levi's side, and begun filling up my plate with food.

"So Eren, I think you should tell them. Now is better than never, expecially since we're all together," Levi said after a moment of silence, the only sound being the cutlery hitting the plates. I turned my head to look at him in confusion, not understanding what he was referring to.

"You know," He kept going, when locking our eyes together. "The thing we talked about last night,"

My cheeks immediately turned red as I was reminded of the awkward incident the previous night. He really wanted to talk about what he had done? What we had talked about? No, that couldn't be it. That was impossible, neither of us probably wanted the rest of the family to know. It had to be something else. And judging by Levi's vague, little smirk, he was probably planning on saying something completely different.

I got a bad feeling in my stomach.

Levi reached out to wrap his arm around my shoulders, pulling me towards him so that his lips reached my ear.

"I'm going to make you're shitty life more horrible than you'd ever imagine. This is only the beginning,"

With that he pulled away from me, before turning towards my parents.

"Eren really wanted my support today, because he doesn't actually know how to say it himself … But," Levi send me a quick look – a look that was filled with hatred – before looking back again with a smile on his face. "Eren is gay,"

The first reaction to come was my fathers. He had been reading the paper, but after the word _gay_ had been spoken, he had dropped it over his plate, nothing less than shocked.

"Really?" Mom just said, placing left hand over her chest, where her heart was supposed to be. "I'm so sorry if you felt afraid to tell us. But I'm so happy that Levi could help you with it." She continued to reach out and grabbed my hand, and I didn't pull away. I couldn't move at all actually, as I was probably just as shocked as my dad was.

"Son?" Dad just said, catching my attention. Our eyes met, but there was no anger. No hatred or fury. He wasn't smiling either, but that was good enough.

"Y-Yeah," I just said, nodding when I finally found my voice again. It was small and shallow, but it was there.

"Mmh-hmm, and he even has a boyfriend. I think his name is Armin," Levi smiled, patting my back. It looked like a nice gesture in front of my parents, but in really he put so much strength into them, that I ended up coughing a little.

"Armin?!" Mom squealed, giving my hand a hard squeeze.

"Mom, please don't – " I started, but was quickly interrupted by another squeal.

"Eren, I'm so happy for you!"

She said, standing up to that she was able to get over to my side of the table and wrap her arms around me. I just sat there, too astonished to do anything, afraid that this might be too good to be true.

" _What_?!" I could hear Levi exclaim from behind me, and when my mom let go of me, I turned around just to see that all colour had left Levi's face. "H-How can you … This isn't right. Why are you not mad with him?"

Oh, so that was what his plan had been. Reveal my sexuality to my family in hope that they would disown me. Clearly it had backfired on him.

I felt like yelled _HA!_ into his face, but that would have seem weird and rude to my parents, so I settled for a big smile instead.

"I guess I just have great parents who accept me for who I am," I shrugged, feeling rather happy to be able to throw this in Levi's face. His plan had failed miserably, and I had to use all my strength not to mock him in front of my family.

His eyes lingered on mine for a moment, staring into them as he tried to figure out what to do next.

"Mr. Jaeger?" He ended up saying, turned towards my father. "What are your thoughts on this?"

My dad looked at me for a long time, and it almost felt like hours until he finally shook his head.

"I haven't lost any respect for you. You are who you are, there's no changing that. If loving someone of your own gender makes you happy, then I guess it'll make me happy as well. Though I'm sad to hear that you won't be carrying on the family name and making the family bigger. I liked the idea of grandchildren,"

And with that the conversation was over, and he pulled his newspaper up again to hide behind. I was clearly taken aback by this, but not really as much as Levi, who was almost fuming with rage. My mom was mind as I mouse in this case though, as she just kept on talking about me and Armin, not noticing how Levi had pushed his chair away and standing up.  
"I'm going to school," He answered coldly, clenching his hands into fists before walking out of the room. I wasn't sure what to do, though I was definitely sure how I should feel.

Happy. Glad that I had gotten my parent's approval, and in the process getting Levi down from his pedestal. He thought that he had gotten the upper hand with my so-called secret, but apparently it didn't matter as much to anyone as it did to Levi. The only bad thing was that Armin had been mentioned, especially since I was already planning to break up with him.

But seriously … Had he really been hoping for my parents to hate me because of me being gay? Really, it was kinda weak when I thought about it. It was 2015 for god's sake, who even did that anymore?

I finished eating, and as me and Mikasa got ready to get out of the door, my mother suddenly pulled my to the side.

"Eren, I've known Armin for a long time," She started off, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah?" I said slowly, not sure where this conversation would be heading.

"But I've only met him as your friend. So I want you to bring him home after school, so we can be introduced properly. Do you understand?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, not sure how to respond.

"Oh … I'm not sure that he'll be able to make it, though … " I said, trying to get out of it as quickly as possible, trying to think of a good excuse for it to be postponed. This wasn't good, it wasn't good at all.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be thinking of this as a first priority, when you tell him!" She just chirped, before giving me a wet kiss on the forehead. "I'll be looking forward to it!"

And with that I was out the door and getting into the car.

On my way to school. On my way to Armin. On my way to Levi. On my way to all the troubles that lay ahead.

Well, shit. This was certainly going to be a good day.

\- - - - - 

Armin had been over-excited when I had told him. He had practically screamed and jumped up and down, all of this while clapping his hands together.

"Oh my god Eren, this is amazing! Now we don't have to hide it to anyone anymore! I'm so happy!"

And with that, all the guilt had come right back, hitting me like a wave in a stormy weather.

"Yeah, it'll be great," I said with a half-assed smile, looking down at my table, absolutely dreading what would happen in just a couple of hours.

I believed this was actually the first time that I had wanted, out of my own will, to stay at school.

But of course it couldn't last forever, and sooner than I would have thought I found myself in the car with both Mikasa, Armin and Levi. The car had a very mixed athmosphere, which felt rather awkward for me. Everytime I looked at Armin, I remembered what we had done the last sunday, and everytime I looked at Levi, I remembered what he had done to me yesterday. Armin was squealing with excitement, blabbering on about something that I was only half listening to, since I kept worrying about Levi. He was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest and his one leg on top of the other – but most importantly, he looked pissed. He hadn't talked to me all day, but I was sure that he was trying to think of some way to mock and humiliate me, which was probably why I dreading coming home even more.

He had whispered into my ear that he was planning on making my life hell, and I definitely believed that he was able to do it.

As we got back home, we were met with freshly baked muffins and big smile from my mother. My father was still at work, working a double shift, so it was only mom and us teenagers.

Great.

After being 'introduced' as my mother called it, we all sat down at the table and started eating muffins while doing casual small talk. There was nothing truly spectacular about the situation, but I still couldn't shake the bad feeling that I had.

And that would be confirmed within seconds.

"So Armin, me and Grisha have been talking after Eren went to school this morning, and" She took a deep breath, reaching over to grab his hand. "We would like for you to come with us to our little vacation this weekend and keep Eren company. Getting a few new experiences into your relationship. You don't have to answer right now, of course, you can go home and talk it over with your pa – "

"OH MY GOD, yes!" Armin squealed, jumping up from his chair, and looking at me excitedly. "Eren, this is going to be so great!"

I lifted my head and smiled at him as my heart dropped in my chest.

How the hell was I ever going to break up with him now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So three major things happened this chapter.
> 
> 1\. Levi misunderstood Eren and thought he liked him, therefore having the possibility of liking him back, which ended up in him getting handsy with Eren. When Eren tells him that it's just a misunderstanding, he flips out on Eren, as he is embarrassed over suddenly not having those feelings being returned - and therefore pretending that he never liked Eren in the first place. (kinda like when you find out that someone likes you, and suddenly you start noticing things about that person just because he likes you, and then you kinda start thinking 'oh, maybe I like him as well'?)
> 
> 2\. Levi tells his parents about Eren being gay in the hopes that they'll flip out. There is more behind this, but it will be explained in later chapters.
> 
> 3\. Lastly, Armin is invited to join them this weekend, which is NOT GOOD AT ALL! Now Eren can't break up with the poor guy, and has to pretend to still want to be with him, MEANWHILE Levi will be a complete ass, and so Eren can't let Levi know that he wants to break up with Armin, because then Levi could use that as leverage for his evil plots, ah.
> 
> Oh god, I'm rambling and I'm sorry about that, but I've been up all night finishing this chapter - which by the way is the longest chapter I've ever written so you better fucking enjoy it, 6K words! - so hopefully you'll be able to overlook it, if there are any mistakes. Fuck, I'm tired. I should NOT be doing all-nighters, especially not when it's a school night and I have almost 9 hours of school to look forward to.
> 
> Yay.
> 
> ENJOY LOVELIES XOXO


	8. An Unconscious Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is meant for the readers that commented on my last chapter and who were very upset about it, but since I want to avoid any other misunderstandings, I want to write it here so that I can clear it up for not just them, but everyone else as well, since there are several things that I want to get out on the table. If you don't care, then there's no reason to read on. It's going to be a little long, sorry about that.
> 
> First of all, yes, Levi sure did out him in front of his family. It was a douchebag move and while I a 100% agree with the readers that something like that is super personal and should come from the person himself, Eren doesn't mind it as much as other homosexuals might have. Eren has a very relaxed opinion about his sexuality, thinking “People should support and love you for who you are, so fuck those who doesn't”. He didn't particularly think that coming out to his family would be such a big deal – yeah, it was important, but let me just quickly point out that in chapter 3, his opinion was like this:
> 
> “I had never felt that it was necessary to hide it, even though I didn't stand on the rooftops and yelled it out to the whole world either.  
> The truth was, that I hadn't even told my parents yet, as strange as that was.   
> I didn't know if they really knew, but we had never had an 'official' conversation about it, so I had really no idea. I wasn't even sure why I hadn't told them yet, since I didn't believe that they would mind that much.”
> 
> Or a qoute from last chapter:  
>  “But seriously … Had he really been hoping for my parents to hate me because of me being gay? Really, it was kinda weak when I thought about it. It was 2015 for god's sake, who even did that anymore?”
> 
> I kinda feel like these quotes explain it better, so there you have it. Let's close that one.
> 
> Second of all, let's talk about the 'why did Levi get mad'? There is actually a really good explanation behind this, so if you will keep on reading, the answer to that question would have come in about 1-2 chapters. I don't really want to spoil it, even though it would explain a lot.   
> But hey, it's called cliffhangers for a reason.
> 
> Third of all, let's remember that they're teenagers. All teenagers lie to their parents, so of course there's no way that Carla and Grisha know the whole story. To you, RzStock, who commented that you couldn't understand his parents, and how they just 'brush him off' when he tries telling them about Levi ... On this matter I'm actually writing from experience, so yes, it IS possible for parents to overlook or not wanting to notice things like that. Turning the blind eye to it, or whatever it is that you can say about it.
> 
> Last, but not least …. Seriously, unhealthy? Abusive territory? Borderline sociopathic behaviour? You need to take it down a notch. I'm sad to hear that that's how some of you feel, but I don't agree with you at all. There's really nothing more I can say about that.  
> I won't beg you to keep on reading if you feel so strongly about it, it just saddens me to see that you choose to leave because of that. 
> 
> To all other readers that still want to read my little story, THANK YOU! I love writing for this fic, but I get kinda bummed out when people respond negatively to what I write (surprise, surprise, right?) and then I start thinking if I should just end the story.  
> So I just wanted to, lastly, add a big shoutout to OokamiXkitsune who 'defended' the story. I just want to say thank you so much, I was actually having a really bad day, and you made me so happy when I read it! Seriously, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comment! It really motivated me to write the next chapter – so everybody should actually thank you for this chapter update being so quick, hehe!
> 
> On a ligher note ... Enjoy!

It was friday when I first started packing. There wasn't really any time left to do so, since we where going to leave in half an hour, and I wasn't prepared at all. Everyone else had already packed the car with their own baggage, and mine was the only one missing. There was a reason for this though, and it was a good one.

Levi had been inside our bedroom for the whole evening to pack his own bag, and since I had made it my mission to avoid him as much as possible, there was just no way that I was going to spend the entire evening in the same room as him – well, being conscious at least, since we were still forced to sleep together, but that was something that I could handle.

So now I was stuck in here, trying to find the right clothes and trying to remember if there was anything of importance that I was supposed to take with me when going on vacation. Toothbrush and toothpaste, that was obvious. Clean underwear, pants, t-shirts, sure thing. It was easy, right?

Now I was just supposed to put it all down a bag … If I could find one. Why couldn't I find one?

I started walking around my room, making a mess while going through my stuff to find a proper bag. There was nothing under my bed, in my closet or at my desk. What the hell? I was sure that I had kept at least three bags in my room. But of course, that was before Levi came in … Had I thrown them all out with all the other junk, when I had to clean up to make space for Levi? I couldn't remember. Damn it.

"Ereeeeen! We have to go soon!" I heard my mom call from down stairs, and my heart started racing. Didn't we have a paper bag then, at least? I didn't even have much, but there was still clothes for 3 days away, and I couldn't carry it all.

"Oi," A voice from behind me grunted, and I turned around to face Levi who was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. He leaned his right shoulder up against the doorframe, and I could feel the athmosphere getting tense.

"What do you want?" I asked, forcing myself not to snap at ham and keep my voice calm.

"Do you need a bag?" He asked innocently enough, but even though there was no assumption to say that he was the one behind it, I still couldn't stop myself from getting paranoid.

"Yeah … ?" I said reluctantly, placing my hands at my hips, staring at him. "Did you have something to do with that?"

He raised an eyebrow, before shrugging. He looked almost bored by our conversation. It certainly didn't seem like he had done it, otherwise he would probably proudly taunt it at me.  
"No?"

"Hm,"

I turned around, not wanting to waste another second talking to him, but apparently he had other plans. As I sat down to pull out a full box of junk to go through, Levi walked over to his bed and sat down on it.

"You should hurry. Your dad is really impatient," He said with the same bored face, as he swung the right leg over the left and placed his hands on the bed behind him for support, so that he could lean backwards.

"Fuck off," I ended up saying, getting rather frustrated that he was getting on my nerves.

"My oh my," He said, sighing. "You really are a brat. And here I am, about to offer you one of _my_ bags to borrow, and then you go ahead and say something like that to me? Tsch,"

I turned around to look at him through squinting eyes. Was he joking? He was looking right at me with his head tilted to one side, and a eyebrow raised to show that he was waiting for my answer.

I was kinda speechless for a long moment, before turning my whole body around to face him. I was still on my knees, so I placed my hands on my kneecaps and leaned a little forward.

"Are you kidding me?" I finally said. I didn't trust him _at all_. This had to be some bullshit excuse to fuck around with me. There was no way that he would just be genuinely nice and lend me a bag when I was in need for one.

"Why would I?" He said, still no change in his expression.

"Because you said that you would make my life hell!" I vented out, throwing my hands up in the air to underline my frustration. "Why would you help me, if you said that?!"  
"Don't be so dramatic," He snickered – _he snickered?!_ \- and stood up, placing his one hand on his hip. "Maybe I was overreacting a bit. You shouldn't take something like that so serious,"

What the actual fuck? Did he really think that I would so innocently believe that he had just forgotten and forgiven? There was no way that I would believe any word that came out of –

"EREN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

The words came from downstairs again, yet this time it was my dad, and it definitely sounded like he was starting to get pissed off. My blood froze as my nervousness started to rise.

"Shit … Fine, okay, give it to me," I sighed, standing up and reaching out a hand. Well, if he was going to be nice, then I could just accept and that would be it. There was nothing shitty he could have done, right? It was just a bag after all.

"Here," He pulled out a box from underneath his bed and grabbed the empty bag that was in it. I snapped it out if his hand immediately before he could do the cliché trick of pulling his own hand back and saying "Haha, just kidding!".

"Thanks," I mumbled reluctantly, before turning my back to him and walking over to my own bed again.

"You're welcome,"

I just rolled my eyes at that answer, and started throwing my clothes down into the bag.

"COMING!" I finally yelled after closing the bag. I turned around to see that Levi was still with me inside the room, and I furrowed my brows in confusion. He had been watching me, and now he was wearing a smirk. It was small, but it was there, his left corner of his mouth twitching slightly upwards.

"Come on," I just said instead of asking him about it, before walking out the door. However, I couldn't help but have a bad feeling in my stomach about that smile.

We went down the stairs and out of the door. The were all waiting in the car except my mother, who was waiting for us to get out, so that she could lock the door after us. We all got into the car, my parents in the front, and me, Mikasa and Levi packed in the back.

Since Levi was the smallest one of us all, he was sitting in the middle, and because of the tight space between us three, there was no denying that we would be touching. We sat there, shoulder to shoulder, and at first I was completely frozen, too afraid to move. But as time flew by, I started to get more comfortable, and with my gameboy in hand I was soon forgetting that Levi was even there.

An hour went by, and as I started to get tired of the repetitive missions in my Pacman game, I shut it off and found my headphones and iPhone instead. I unlocked it – of course making sure that Levi couldn't see the code – and pressed on the music app. There was a lot to choose from, but I wasn't really in mood for just anything. The perfect combination to my mood would probably be … Yeah, now I just had to find the right album. I pressed play and put it on shuffle, before leaning back in my seat and closing my eyes. I didn't get much time to relax though, since I felt a sudden sting in my stomach. Opening my eyes I could see how Levi had nudged his elbow in my side to get my attention. I took one of the earphones off and looked questioning at him.

" … What? Is it too loud or something?" I asked in a dreary voice, trying to be civil since we were in front of my parents.  
"Is that Sebastian Lind you're listening to?" He asked, with a genuine expression of interest on his face.

"Mmh-hmm," I nodded, not really sure where he was going with this.

"Wow, I didn't think that anyone else knew him. He's not really that popular,"

Why was he trying to make small talk with me? That was the last thing I wanted.

"Well, he's underrated, I guess." I said, shrugging my shoulders, trying to sound as uninterested in the conversation as possible.

"That's true. Mind if I listen with you?"

The only way I could react was just furrowing my brows in astonishment. No, no, _of course_ he couldn't listen but just as I was about to to say those words out loud, he had already grabbed the earpiece that I was holding in my hand and placed it into his own ear. I stared at him in surprise as he crossed his arms tightly and shut his eyes, letting a small sigh leave his lips.

Could I just pull out the earpiece? No, he would probably just protest and then my parents would interfere. They wanted us to get along after all – even though they had no idea how bad it was between us. Levi had them wrapped around his little finger, that little bastard.

So I couldn't do anything else than to lean back in my seat and look out the window, while involuntarily being connected to Levi this way. The whole athmosphere in the car was comfortable and relaxed, everyone else tending to their own matters, yet I was sitting there, feeling utterly awkward and uncomfortable. I clenched my hands into fists yet they stayed rested on my kneecaps, as I forced myself to keep staring out the window.

As the landscapes flew by, changing every once in a while, the song ended, and another one started playing. My hopes of him taking out the earpiece grew smaller and smaller with each song that ended and a new one starting, and soon all I could do was lean back and close my own eyes.

How annoying.

Soon I drifted off into an conscious state of mind, dreaming of all the things that I had yet experienced of the world.

"Aw, look honey, how cute. It hasn't even been two hours, and they're all already sleeping," Carla said to her husband an half hour later, as she had accidently had looked in the little side window. She decided to turn around her upper body to look closer at her children, who were all sleeping soundly, while heavy and steady breathing came from their half-open mouths.

As she suddenly let out a small whine, it startled Grisha so much that he almost lost control of the car.

"What is it?" He asked, a mixed feeling of annoyance and interest, sending her a short look before letting his eyes back on the road. He had a responsibility after all to get them there safe and sound.

"Look at Eren and Levi – ah, so adorable! I think I'll take a picture," She whispered, suddenly aware of the fact that loud noises would wake them. At least her little whine hadn't woken any of them up, which should probably be seen as a miracle. Then again, not really, since both Levi and Eren was listening to music, and Mikasa was out like a stone.

She pulled out her iPhone and swiped it open to find the camera function. Holding it steady she pressed the button and the flash light went off for a second, and then, just by that, she had savored the moment forever.

Levi had leaned into Eren, resting his head soundly on his shoulder, while Eren's head and tilted to the side and was now resting on Levi's head.

And at that moment, Carla decided that she would show the boys that picture, whenever they would start bickering again.

She doubted that it would take long for that to happen.

"They might not get along very well, but at least they look darn well adorable when they're together," Carla giggled lowly, before turning back around to look at her husband.

"I hope Levi's not too hard on him after everything that happened wednesday," She said, sighing under her breath.

"After everything that the kid has been through, it would be understandable. But he has a rather bad way of dealing with things," Grisha stated, not looking at his wife even once. His eyes would not leave the road anymore than necessary.

"Oh, I know … But he's such a good boy. We just have to watch after him a little more then. Make sure that nothing bad happens," She said in all seriousness, but since it wasn't her greatest suit not to always have a smile on her face, she quickly got herself into a better mood.

"I'm sure that this weekend it will all get better!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, the guy that Eren and Levi both loves, is Sebastian Lind, a danish musician who is AMAZING! He is, as said, too underrated, and it's really sad because he is so amazing. All his songs are in english, so I really recommend that you check him out! If you do, I would suggest that you listen to the songs "Feel Happy', 'Never Let Go' or 'I Can Sleep' and then write to me and tell me what you think!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you'll be happy to hear that next chapter is almost done and will probably be up monday or tuesday!


	9. Itchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all who commented last chapter! I kinda realise that I have some really amazing readers, though that shouldn't really be a surprise!  
> Again, this whole thing really motivated me to write more, so here you go, it's another quick update!
> 
> By the way, I want to confess something..  
> Everytime you leave a comment I notice your names, so when you tend to comment more often, I end up remembering your names. It's kinda funny actually, because you all get really happy when you check your bookmarks/e-mails and see that I updated the chapter, where as I get incredibly happy when I check my e-mails for comments and I recognise your name. Sometimes I even squeal and think 'Yay, I can't wait to hear this persons thoughts on my latest chapter' when that person comments, because I have gotten the feeling that that person is a regular reader who likes what I do!  
> ... So that was just a silly little side note that I wanted to add to let you now that I appreciate your feedback and sweet comments, haha. Well, let's drop the one-sided small talk so that you can get to the chapter! Enjoy!

Armin had been given the adress and his granddad had driven him up to the vacation house, so he had already been there when they had arrived. His granddad, who wanted to make sure not to leave his grandson at some strange place alone, drove off as soon as we got there. I was woken up by a knock on the window, and after blinking a few times I sat up straight and looked out the window. My eyes was met with a big smile and happy blue eyes as Armin stuck his face rather close to the room. 

“Ah!” I exclaimed in surprise, leaning back only touch Levi's shoulder who was still behind me. All other members of the family had already left the car and I could see them carrying up all the bags into the house. 

“Ereeeen ~ “ Armin purred happily, before opening the door and reaching out a hand for me. I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed it, and he pulled me out of the car. I turned around to send Levi a last look, but it looked like I hadn't woken him up when I hit him before. 

“Have you been waiting for long?” I asked with a dreary attitude, looking down at my shorter lover. He shook his head, still smiling and not letting go of my hand. 

“Nah, it was alright. I had a little time to look at the house. It's so beautiful! I can't believe I was allowed to go – we're going to have so much fun!”

My heart got stuck in my throat as I looked at him. It was hard not to get smitten by his cheery attitude. How could he always be like this, so nice and worryless? It was so hard not to love him when he was like this. 

Maybe there was a way for me to actually enjoy this weekend, if I just spend time with Armin as my best friend, and not my boyfriend?

I sincerely hoped so. 

“It's gonna be great,” I chipped in, nodding. “But we should probably help carry all the stuff … And find our rooms,” 

We took all that we could carry – I probably ended up carrying twice as much as him since he was so tiny – and then we went inside. It was even more beautiful inside than the outside. It felt very big, though that was probably because of the lack of personal things and because almost everything was in light colours. There was two floors in total, with a large garden. There was even an indoor and outdoor swimmingpool, even though we were so close to the beach. 

There was three bedrooms in total, two with king size beds, and one bedroom that had two one-size beds. It was rather quickly decided that Armin and I was getting the second bedroom with the king size bed, while Mikasa was stuck with sleeping in the same room as Levi. She had been looking pretty glum about it, but I just couldn't contain myself, so I ended up whispering 'now you'll know how it's like', which I earned a bruise on my shoulder for. Even though I dreaded the thought of sleeping in the same bed with Armin in whole two nights, I was still too happy about the thought that my bedroom would contain one less Levi those two nights.

“FAMILY MEETING!” Dad yelled to gather us all, even though we had only been in our new rooms for five minutes. Still, we came downstairs to enter the large living room. 

“Dad and I was thinking of what we would be doing this weekend, and we wanted your input, since you'll all be dragged along anyway,” She said, wearing her usual smile. 

“The beach!” Both me and Armin exclaimed in unison before anyone else could say something, and then we looked at eachother and laughed. We both knew what the beach meant for us, so being able to go there might be fun. 

“The amusement park,” Mikasa said slowly, after Carla sent her a questioning look. 

“And Levi … ?” She asked sweetly, looking over at him. He just shrugged, still looking a little gloomy from sleeping in the car. 

“I don't care,”

“Then I guess that's it. We'll go to the amusement park tomorrow, and the beach tonight. Me and dad also want to go for a walk in one of the forests around here that is supposed to have a big, beautiful waterfall in the middle of it … But we can do that sunday, since you'll probably be too tired tomorrow,” She said, clapping her hands together. “Then I guess that's the plan! Now, me and dad will go by some groceries for tonight. We're having chicken salad, hmm, we'll probably be back soon. Less than an hour hopefully, but since we don't actually know where there is a supermarket, it might take a while … Don't count on anything. I'll have my cellphone with me if you run into trouble, okay?”

And with that, they disappeared again, leaving us by ourselves. 

“So, um … “ Armin started out, as the door had closed behind our parents. “Is there something that you want to do?”

Normally, I would want to lay down on the bed, but since I had slept in the car, I was feeling to fresh and awake to do so. There was the options of playing cards, reading a book, going for a walk, bathing in one of the swimming pools … But most of all, I wanted to do something with Armin that would greaten our friendship. I wanted to remind him that I was also his best friend, and that we could do normal stuff together without us having to touch or kiss or cuddle all the time. 

Maybe then, he wouldn't hate me as much when we broke up … ? Well, I was always allowed to hope. Even when that hope was very, very tiny …

“Let's play a board game! That way, Mikasa can join us as well!” I cheered, sending Mikasa a big smile. I also had to remind myself to make her not feel like the third wheel, which she probably felt very often. 

“Excuse me? Am I not allowed to _play_?” Levi joined in with an annoyed tone. He had crossed his arms and looked at me with a judgemental look. 

“Uh … “ I really didn't want to socialise with him more than I had to, and since our parents weren't here anymore there was really no reason to be polite to him. “No one actually wants to hang out with you, Levi … “

“Eren!” Armin whined, slapping me hard on the shoulder. “That was so rude!” 

“Ow!” I covered the place he had hit with my hand, and pouted. “What was that for?”

Armin raised an eyebrow before crossing his arms as well. 

“That wasn't nice of you to say,”

“No, Armin, it's fine. I only asked out of curiosity, I didn't actually want to participate,” Levi said with a shrug, but it wasn't hard to notice the anger swelling up in his eyes. “I'm going outside,” And with that he left the room.

Armin immediately sighed, before hitting me again. 

“Damn it, Eren! I thought that you guys were over your little quarrels!”

“He outed me in front of my parents!” I defended myself, even though it probably wasn't the best defense to have, and Armin knew why. 

“Oh please, Eren. You didn't even care about them knowing or not! You've said so yourself a hundred times now that you wasn't afraid of that happening,”

“Well … “ I grunted some words that didn't really make sense out of frustration. “He said that he wanted to make my life miserable just before doing it! His sole mission in life is to hurt me!”

“I have one word for you, Eren. Overdramatic,” Armin said, yet even he couldn't help but smile at that.

Well, yeah okay, maybe I did that sometimes, but in the end it was the truth. It was what he had said to me, though now that I thought about it, he did also say this morning that he didn't actually mean it. 

So, had I been in the wrong? Should I stop treating Levi as the bad guy? Even if it was a douchebag thing he did, he had clearly been mad about what had happened the night before … Which actually still hadn't been resolved. I made a mental note to myself that I wanted to talk to him about it. 

“I think you should go apologise to him,” Armin said, tilting his head in the direction that Levi went in. 

“I'll … I'll think about it,” I said, ending the conversation. “Let's just play first, okay?”

Armin grunted in disapproval, but he didn't say anything further. While we had been bickering, Mikasa had silently found a boardgame to play, so we sat down at the table and started playing. It was monopoly, so we actually had a chance against Armin whom otherwise would easily win in any other game. Mikasa ended up winning though, which was surprising when you thought about it. She didn't tease us about it, she just packed the game together again, and put it back into its place. Armin went to grab some water, and I was left to myself again. There wasn't really anything else to do now than to wait for our parent's to get home, and I knew that if I didn't move from my seat Armin would come back and start to annoy me until I would do what he wanted. 

I grunted as I stood up and walked out into the hallway that Levi had went through. It led to the door that led out to the garden and pool house, but in the other end there was the staircase. So there was two places he could be. Outside, or upstairs.

Not bothering myself to think about it too much, I turned to the door closest to me, and went outside. It was sunny, and I had to squint my eyes to see where I was going when walking. The garden was rather large, but the outdoor swimmingpool was close to the door, so I didn't have to go searching for him for long. He was lying on the ground on his back, with his legs over the edge and into the water. The most noticable thing though, the one thing that I couldn't really avoid seeing, was that he wasn't wearing clothes anymore, but just a pair of long, blue swimming trunks. His hair was still wet and his skin was still glowing faintly with a thin layer of water. It was supposed to be impossible, yet it seemed like his abs were even more evident than before. It left me in astonishment, because it reminded me that I had actually never seen him work out. How the hell could he look that good? It was almost annoying. 

His arms covered his face, making it seem like he was sleeping, so I had no opportunity to know if he was aware of my presence without actually saying something.  
I decided to just sit down at his side on the ground, and started to fold my pants upwards to expose my legs. I dipped my feet in the cold water that was a great feeling against my own temperature, and soon I didn't even feel the difference anymore. I leaned back to lie on my back, at Levi's side. Soon I understood why Levi was covering his face – the strong sun was killing my eyes, making it absolutely impossible to have them open for more than just a few seconds before starting to cry. I covered my own face and when the threat of the sun was gone, I sighed in relief. It was loud enough for Levi to hear, and after a few moments of silence, he finally broke it. 

“What do you want, brat?”

“Apologise, I guess,” I mumbled, irritated by this. Why did I have to do this again? I couldn't remember exactly why. 

“Fine. You've apologised, now go away,” He growled, though the sound was muffled a bit by his arm. However, this made me even more annoyed.

“Fuck you, I'm just trying to be nice. Isn't that what you wanted?”

“I've never said that,”

“Well then, what the hell is it that you want? I can't seem to figure that out,” I hissed, rolling my eyes, even though he couldn't see it.

“I don't want anything,” Was his answer, which left a silence between us for a long moment.

Talking to Levi this way actually felt … Doable. It didn't feel so forced and awkward as any other way that they had done it. It felt almost … Comfortable. Not being able to see each other, but to just lie beside each other and talk. It felt … Nice? I wasn't completely sure, to be honest. 

“Well … “ I said hesistantly, not sure how to keep the conversation going. “Um … Then – “

“How long have you known that you were gay?” He asked, interrupting me before I could mutter anything else. There was no way that I wasn't taken aback by this question, not seeing it coming at all. Why would he want to talk about that now? 

“Well, um … A couple of months ago, I guess. I wasn't completely sure before that, though … There are a lot of guys who says that they've known their whole lives, but … That wasn't it for me. I only started thinking about it last year. It was a really confusing time, though,”

“Hmm,” I could hear him grunt under his arms as an answer, and I could feel an interest grow inside of me. Why did he want to know? Did he have a secret agenda? Maybe I shouldn't have been so honest with him? I tried to think of what I had said, what words I had used – was there anything that he could use to mock and sabotage me with later? 

As my interest grew, my paranoia grew as well. 

“Are … Are you?”

It seemed like something inside of him clicked then and there, because he removed his arms from his face and turned his upper body so that he could look at me in the eyes. The next thing he said was in a sharp and cold tone, and his eyes shot daggers. 

“Are _what_?” 

I gulped, removing my arms from my face as well to look at him. Turning my head in his direction luckily made it so that the sunlight couldn't get in my eyes. I was walking on thin ice here, and I knew it. I should probably have thought of choosing my words a little more carefully, but I couldn't really find a better for it.

“ … Gay?”

Levi primmed his lips together as I said it, and at that moment I was afraid that he would actually hit me. 

“No,” He finally said after a long minute of silence. 

“Then, uh … “ Was I really going to bring that up now? Wasn't that what people called bad timing?Then again, when would I ever get the chance to bring it up ever again? I decided that this would be the best time to do it. “Then why did you … Do …. That?”

Levi squinted his eyes looking at me, and I furrowed my brows while waiting. He wouldn't hit me, right? 

“I already told you, I did it because I thought that you liked me,”

“That doesn't make sense, though,” I kept on going, pulling my body up so that my elbow was on the ground, supporting my weight and holding up my body. “If you thought that I liked you, then you could just have left it alone. People only … Do things like that, if they think that their feelings are returned,” As I kept talking, I realised it, and then the words just wouldn't stop coming out. There was no way I could stop what was coming next.

“So …You like me, right?”

“I do not!” He said, his voice louder than before, as his hands became fists. “Don't just make assumptions like that!”  
I raised an eyebrow at his a little-too-quick answer. I wanted to ask if he was sure, but then I would just be pouring more gas onto the already lit fire. This territory was bad, and I should probably get out quickly. 

“Eh … Sorry,” 

There was a moment of silence, before Levi sighed in annoyance. 

“Whatever, brat.”

He lay down again on his back, though I kept lingering on my elbow, looking down at his face. He seemed like he wanted to close his eyes, but when he noticed that I didn't remove my eyes from him, he stared back, locking our eyes together. I could easily how his mouth started to open and I prepared myself for the 'stop looking at me, you little shit'-comment that would come along with it, but surprisingly, it never did. Instead he just closed his mouth again and folded his hands on his stomach. We kept looking at eachother for quite some time, while my thoughts flew around in my head. He had assaulted me that night, in our shared bedroom, because … Why? Because he liked me? It was rather hard to believe, especially because I hadn't done anything to him that could have been as kind or sincere. The only thing I had done was accidentally say his name while getting a handjob. Was that really all it took for him to develop a crush on me? It seemed unlikely. There definitely had to be some other explanation to it … I just had to figure out what it was. 

What he had done that night … I should probably have told someone about it. But then I knew that they would freak out, and I wouldn't want that either. Why not, though? It wasn't hard to realise that it was because instead of getting frightened by that experience, my interest for him had just grown.  
He was a jerk, no doubt about it, but while I had always thought of him as coldblooded and indifferent, that had now changed. There was something else about him, and though he had done a good job of hiding it, that night when he had touched me, he had also opened a crack, and now I couldnt' help but want to look through that hole and see what else there was …  
Somehow I found myself wondering if everything about Levi was just a facade. Did he had a good reason to why he was acting the way he did, or was he just a pretentious, superficial prick that liked to torture me?

As my brain worked with all of these complicated thoughts, we had been lying there for quite a while, and I had almost forgotten that we were still looking at each other … It was the longest time we had stayed so close to each other and not get at each other's throats. 

“You're blocking the light,”

What?

“ … Huh?”

“The sun, idiot. You're blocking it,” Levi sighed in annoyance. “Did you really think I was just lying here waiting for you? I'm trying to get a little tanner, so go away,”  
His voice had become cold and impassive, and his eyes had become empty of emotion again. I pressed my lips together as I knew that was my cue to leave so I pulled my legs out of the water and stood up. 

“Then … I'll see you later,” I muttered, not really sure how to end this conversation. 

“Whatever,” Was the answer that seemed to be the most used word in Levi's vocabulary (aside 'brat' of course) and with that I took my leave. 

“Did it go well?” I was instantly asked by Armin who stood waiting at the door when I got inside. 

“Eh!?” I jumped in surprised by seeing him lurking behind the door. “Did you spy on us?”

"No, silly! I was just waiting for you,” Armin giggled by my reaction, before taking my hand. “I just wanted to know if he accepted your apology … Well, you did apologise, right?”

“Stop acting like my mom,” I protested, rolling my eyes. “And yes, I did.”

“Ah! I'm glad. It's no use if your bickering ruins this weekend, right?” Armin's voice had gotten lower, and with a quick move his arms were suddenly wrapped around my neck. “Your supposed to enjoy yourself … Not worry your head with something that concerns Levi,”

I bit my lip nervously, as I looked down at my boyfriend, who was looking at me with eyes filled with love. 

“Mmmh, I guess,” I mumbled, grabbing his waist to pull him away from me. “But I really need to take a shower now, so … ”

And with that, I quickly got up the stairs, and into our bedroom, making sure to close the door behind me. I just couldn't deal with kissing Armin now, and it had been so obvious that he had wanted to do just that.

I really couldn't keep lying to him like this, it almost physically hurt. And there was no way that I was such a good actor that I would be able to keep on doing such intimate stuff with him and pretend to  
enjoy it. There was just no way. 

I took off my shirt and pants and stepped into the bathroom that was just on the other side of the hallway. Inside there, I took the remaining underwear off and stepped into the shower. It didn't take long to get clean, but I still stayed there for a few more minutes. Just because I had the opportunity to be alone for once with my own thoughts. 

The thoughts of Levi reoccurred in my head, and even though Armin had said that I shouldn't worry about him on this trip, I just couldn't help myself.

My childhood enemy, Levi Ackerman, the person I hated, a boy who had kissed me, and that same boy that had killed my precious toy, Mr. Teddy. All this had been done by the same person, this boy who I was having a small war with, who had now caused me to feel so conflicted. 

I thoughts about it until I felt dizzy and unable to even form sentences in my head anymore, and that's when I got out of the shower and dried myself up. I wrapped the towel around my waist in case anyone was out in the hall, and then I was inside the bedroom again. Armin wasn't there, thank god, so I breathed out in relief as I found my bag and placed it on the bed. I opened it and took out the first couple of jeans and t-shirt that I could find. 

The first thing I noticed was that it smelled kinda weird … But then again, who was to say that it wasn't just because the bag had a special smell to it? I threw the clothes on with no further thoughts about it, and then descended the stairs once more.

I could hear thoughts coming from outside, so I went out there again just to find that the whole family had gathered there. As I had been showering, my parents had come home, and now they were resting in the comfortable chairs by the swimming pool. Armin and Mikasa was sitting cross-legged in front of each other on the grass further away, and Levi had moved to the edge of there swimmingpool, as close to my parents as he could be, without disconnection with the water. 

“Hey honey!” Carla chirped with happiness, as she waved me over. I walked over to her, returning hre smile in the process.

“Hey mom,” I smiled, kissing her cheek. “Did you find the supermarket?”

She nodded with excitement. “Yeah, even though your dad made several wrong turns on the way there,” 

“Carla!” Grisha protested, which just made Carla giggle and send me a wink, as if it was just our little secret. 

“Whoops,” She whispered, and I grinned at that. 

“So when are we going to eat?” 

“We wanted to enjoy the sun a little while it's still here, so probably in a half hour or so,” She answered, and I started scratching my chest as I nodded. 

“Oh, alright,” 

“Honey?”

I had looked away for a few seconds, but my eyes quickly found my mom's again as I thought she was speaking to me again. I was just about to open my mouth when someone else answered. 

“Yeah?”

“You probably shouldn't stay in the water too long. You'll just catch a cold,”

Levi sent her a reassuring smile. “Donn't worry about it, I'll be fine,” 

I almost scratched my stomach too hard as a reaction to this. How dared my mother call him honey? That was my nickname! I was supposed to be her honey, not Levi. Levi wasn't her son, I was. Right? Frustrated that I couldn't even complain about it made me just keep scratching myself harder and more intensively. 

“Eren honey? Are you alright?” Carla suddenly asked, looking at me with a worried face.

“Yeah, why shouldn't I be?” I said, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice. 

“Well … Did you get stung by a bee or something? You keep scratching yourself,” 

I looked down at myself, noticing how both my hands were now scratching my upper body everywhere that they could touch. It was first now that I fully realised that my whole body actually felt rather itchy, and that I couldn't stop. 

“I … I don't think so, shit …. I feel itchy all over,” I started moving rather awkwardly as I tried to shake it off, as if that was even possible. This was getting rather uncomfortable, and I had no idea what was causing it. I hadn't been stung by a bee or a mosquito … Yet it felt like my whole body was burning up. I turned around and with that my eyes accidentally fell on Levi … Who was again wearing that smug little smile of his.

“Wh-What's happening to me?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to see if any one of you can quess what is going on with the the itchy-thing. 
> 
> BTW, THIS IS IMPORTANT!  
> I dunno if any of you have Instagram, but I've been wondering for some time now if I should get one .. You now, an account that would let me update sneak peeks for you of my chapters before I upload. I don't know, if any of you would be interest in following me if I did that?  
> Anyways, I kinda already did it. I'm new to the whole social media thing so I'm not really good at it, but I really hope that you think this is a good idea!  
> My account name is : ererilove  
> Yeah, it's super original, right? Anyways, I just wanted to be able to communicate with you guys another way than just here on AO3 so I thought that Instagram would be a great way to start off. (I'm still not even sure how to do the whole tumblr thing ... Haha, I suck, i know) so if you wanna chat or get sneak peeks or see pics of Eren and Levi together, you should find me on there!


	10. Drama at the Dinnertable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi's bickering is starting to take a toll on the family. There are too many pissed off people, haha. But the ending ... Ah shit, I really hope you'll like the ending ~ 
> 
> ENJOY!

“F-Fuck, this is really bad,” I kept repeating as my breathing became heavy and quick pants. “Honey, what's going on with you?” Carla said with worry in her voice. She stood up, but looked uncertain if she dared to get closer to me. I was turning my upper body in odd ways, walking a little back and forth, not really noticing the people around me anymore. 

It was becoming unbearable, and the only thing I could think of, was _how the hell could something itch so badly?_

And then all of the sudden, something had wrapped itself around my right leg, and the next thing I knew is that I couldn't breathe. In a moment of being utterly disoriented, I turn around only to notice that strong arms are around me, holding me down.

And _then_ I realised that I was under water, and the best of it all was that the itching was gone. My worrying disappeared, but only for a second before a new one appeared

I started hitting the shoulders of the person holding me down in a signal to get up, and my prayers was quickly heard. I was lifted up over the water surface, and I wasted no time sucking all the air in that I could before starting to flip out. 

“What the hell?! You tried to drown me!” I screamed at Levi, who was beside me, holding himself up with his arms. They moved in circles around him to hold him above the surface, because while I was able to reach the floor beneath us, he apparently wasn't. That wasn't really something that I was supposed to be thinking about right at that moment though, since my head was still clouded by anger. 

“Relax, brat. You needed to get under water, I just helped you get in,” He said with a shrug, not affected at all by my obvious rage. 

“Honey, calm down,” Carla joined in, looking at us both from her chair. “There's no need to get all worked up. He was just trying to help you,”

“Fuck that! He did something to my clothes just so he could have the opportunity to fucking drown me and get away with it!”

Several reactions happened at the same time after that. Carla gasped, Grisha yelled “ _Language_!” and Levi looked taken aback as well.

“What the hell, brat? I try helping you, and you get all paranoid?”

I flipped him off, too annoyed to actually answering him correctly, and turned around to get to the stairs that led up to the ground again. 

“Hey, don't walk away from – Oi! Listen to me!”

I climbed up the simple stairs, and as I had gotten up, I wasted no time by pulling the damn shirt over my head and throwing it on the ground beside the pool. 

“If you wanted to fuck with my shirt so badly, then you can just have it!” I screamed at Levi who was still in the water, and looking up at me with a baffled expression. He probably didn't expect me to freak out this much, and honestly, I wasn't prepared for it as well. I wasn't even sure as to why I had a rage to this degree, or why it had affected me that much, but right now I just knew that I couldn't cool down.

Finally realising that everyone was staring at me in complete shock, I turned around to avoid further humiliation and hurried inside the house again. Finally alone, I took off my pants as well, and ran up the stairs to get to my bedroom, with a clear objective in mind. Not even bothering to slam the door behind me, I rushed inside and grabbed the bag to empty the remains on the bed. I placed the insides of the bag up against my nose, trying to smell the fabric to see if there was anything particular about it. I didn't actually know what I was looking for in the smell, but it did smell somewhat off if it was just supposed to be a normal bag. Shit. So what was I supposed to do now? I couldn't take any of my clothes on now before they'd been washed, and there was no way that I would should up in front of my family in just a pair of boxers. 

“E-Eren,” Armin was panting my name as he stood in the doorway, leaning up against the doorframe to hold his balance. 

“What?” I snapped at him, too angry to realise that it was just Armin, and that he was just worried about me. He wasn't going to do anything to me like Levi had.

“Eh … “ He straightened his back, though his eyes avoided mine. “A-Are you okay?”

“Fuck no, I'm not okay. That fucker put some sort of pepper spray or itching powder onto all my clothes! I have nothing to wear now!”

“Um … Can't we just wash it?”

“Yeah, but that'll take hours to dry! Then I won't be able to go to the beach with you, or get dinner … I can't walk around the house looking like this!” I pointed to my almost naked body, but Armin wasn't even looking in my direction. His rose pink cheeks revealed his embarassment, and that was when I realised as well that he hadn't really seen this much of me before. Well sure, when we had been younger, but that was when we hadn't even looked at each other that way. 

Great. Now I had to deal with that as well. I really wasn't in the mood to act like a boyfriend right now. 

“Come on Armin, use your brain instead of your dick! I can't deal with anything else than this right now, so please focus!”

His eyes sot up in absolute surprise as I said the word dick, and this gave his cheeks the reversed effects that I wanted. Still, he pulled himself together and walked over to our closet which he had already filled his clothes with. He took out a couple of shorts and a long-sleeved shirt and threw them at me, which I only barely caught. 

“Thanks … “ I took a deep breath, happy that he had found a solution – this also gave me time to realise that my tone of voice probably had been a little too rough just now. 

“Do you think it'll fit?” I asked in a softer tone, tilting my head to look at him with inquiring eyes. He sent me a shy smile and shrugged. 

“Why don't you try it on and find out?”

\- - - - -

“I feel naked,”

“You feel fine! Don't worry so much about it,”

“You're not the one who has to be like this all evening,” I whispered back into my boyfriend's ear, my voice turning sour and negative. He just laughed it off though, sending me his cute, little smile before turning to Mikasa to start up an actual conversation. 

We were all sitting at the table, only waiting for my mother to cut up the chicken and put it in the salad so that we could eat. The table was oblong, and since we were a total of 6 people, there was two on both sides, and one at each end. I was sitting at Armin's side, and while Mikasa was facing him, I was left with sitting straight in front of Levi. My mother was the one sitting in front of us, while my dad was in the other end at Armin and Mikasa. 

I couldn't resist fiddling with the shorts, as I kept trying to pull the fabric further over my thighs to cover up more skin. It kept rolling back into place though, lying tightly over both my ass and my nether regions, keeping it all in place, though making it rather uncomfortable to wear. It was too revealing as well, but at least I was glad that the table covered that up. I looked up to shoot an angry look in Levi's direction, which he responded to with lazily raising an eyebrow. 

“Jerk,” I hissed under my breath so that no one else than he could hear it, but he only responded silently, lifting the corner of his mouth up in a smirk. 

“I'm sorry, is this amusing to you?” I asked angrily, trying to keep my voice as low as possible, while the others kept their conversations louder and therefore unaware. 

“Would it surprise you if I said yes?” He answered back, whispering as well. To this I just snorted in annoyance, but before I was able to answer, my mother came over to sit down with the bowl of salad in her hands. 

“Well, dinner is served,” She chirped happily as she placed it in the middle of the table, and everyone hummed in unison. 

“It looks delicious mom,” Mikasa said, sending a little smile to Carla, which seemed to made her overly happy. 

“Oh, I'm glad! Now please everyone, go ahead and take as much as you'd like!”

And as ordered, we all grabbed our plates and filled it with the chicken salad, excited to finally get something down our stomachs.

“This tastes really great Carla,” Levi said as he put another portion into his mouth, chewing it lightly. 

“Oh, that's good to hear, honey.” Carla smiled at him, caressing his hand slightly before turning her attention to her own food again. 

“Ass kisser,” I muttered, rolling my eyes in disgust, and even though this remark was just planned for myself, Levi still managed to hear it. 

“What did you just say?” He growled, hammering his fork down on the table. Everyone around the table got silent and watched, since they had learned that it was best that way when we started bickering.  
When had it become so normal?

“Nothing,” I grunted, shrugging it off, trying to keep my cool. Levi wasn't falling for that though, as his eyes shot daggers at me. 

“If you've got something to say, then say it,”

I clenched my jaw as I considered if it was the right move to confront him about it now. My anger, of course, had a different view on things. It just wanted to burst out right here and now, getting everything out on the table.

“Okay, fine! You're jealous of me, and wants my life and everything that I have. It's pathetic,” I spat out, staring at him with large eyes full of rage. His was filled with rage as well, and even his hands had turned into fists, resting on the edge of the table.

“Bullshit. You're the pathetic one, if you really think that,” He answered, apparently still able to keep his voice calm. Well, calmer than mine at least. 

“Are you seriously calling me pathetic? You're the one who can't stop bothering me!”

Levi's eyes squinted, and since he didn't answer that right away, an uncomfortable silence appeared. Then he suddenly turned his head to Carla, looking determined at her.

“Eren said that nobody liked me today. That I wasn't even allowed to hang out with them,“

Carla's mouth dropped, as she turned to me. 

“That is not how I raised you, Eren Jaeger!”

Low blow. Was he really going to pull my own mother into this? Then fine, I could play this game as well.

“Well, Levi was the one who put pepper spray on all my clothes!“

Levi stood up by this though he was leaning in over the table to look at me more closely.

“I've overheard Eren having phonesex with Armin!”

What the hell? That wasn't even true! I stood up as well, even more pissed off now. If he wanted to do it that way, then fine. I could lie as well.

“Levi masturbates when he thinks I'm asleep!”

Levi's mouth turned into an o-shape, and almost everyone gasped in a mix of shock and embarassment.

“Eren brought condoms and plans on using them!”

This was almost a screaming match by now, both of our voices raising dangerously high.

“Levi is in love with me!”

“ … “

Complete silence.

I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't have any more good remarks or if he was just too surprised, but he didn't say any more. Instead he started at me with wide eyes, pushing the chair back loudly as he took a step backwards. And just like that, it was over. He clenched his jaw and stared at me with eyes that were filled with an intense emotion that I couldn't quite figure out, and then – he was gone.  
Ran out of the room and out into the hall, leaving us all behind in a tense and awkward atmosphere.

“Eren Jaeger, whatever is going on with you, I want this to stop right now.”

My mothers voice was almost shaking with anger, as she stood up as well. But this wasn't anger as in rage – it was the one that was created only to be whispered in a hissing tone, as she looked at me with decisive eyes. This only happened rarely, and that was when you knew that you had crossed that invisible line, that your mother was so angry that she couldn't even yell it – it had to be whispered, and hearing it was almost even more scary. 

I knew right then and there that I was in some deep shit. 

“I will not tolerate your fighting any more. This is something that needs to be stopped right now, or else you'll ruin the rest of this trip. Go after him and apologise right now, or else.”

I tried swallowing the large lump in my throat as I nodded weakly. 

“ … Y-Yes mom,” I mumbled before turning around and running the same way that he had gone, leaving the rest of my family behind.

“Hey, Levi, wait up man!” I yelled, though he was nowhere to be seen. Though the front door was left open, so it wasn't hard to guess where he had gone to. “Levi!”

He was walking down the small road, and as I ran after him I couldn't help but wonder how he could walk so fast when having such short legs. 

“Will you just stop already!” I yelled after him as my breath turned into small pants. I finally caught up to him, and the first thing I did was grabbing his shoulder to stop him from going any further. 

“Seriously, what is your – “

He interrupted me by taking me by surprise, pushing me away roughly only seconds after I had grabbed him. 

“Fuck off, Eren.” He hissed, looking at me with squinted eyes. 

“I just wanted to apologise, why are you getting so upset with me?”

“Because you fucking … You … “ He seemed lost for words, as if he wasn't sure how he was supposed to phrase it. 

I was going to come with a sarcastic remark, but stopped myself in time, thinking that it'd probably be better if I kept it neutral. I was the one who was supposed to be mad at him right now, yet I was still standing here, forced to apologise to this jerk.

“Levi,” I started out, waiting until he was focusing on me again. “I'm sorry,”

Levi's reaction wasn't really what I had imagined. Though then again, I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to think. He truly just kept surprising me. He had raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, and staring at me as if he was waiting for something. I had already apologised, what more did he want from me?

“Brat, don't say something that you don't mean. You clearly hate my guts,”

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Um … Eh, no … Of course I don't, uh – “

Levi groaned loudly.

“Stop pissing me off! You know, this is exactly the reason why you deserve getting your clothes pepper sprayed,” 

“So you _did_ do it! I knew it!”

“I never said that I did it?” 

Now it was my turn to prim my lips and raise an eyebrow. Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“Fine. I did it,”

“AHA!”

“Oh god, whatever. I was actually going to tell you, but how was I supposed to know that you would change clothes so quickly?”

I took a step closer, placing my hands on my hips and leaning my weight onto the other foot.

“Why didn't you just tell me when we were talking at the pool?”

“Well … I only realised that I regretted it afterwards. I guess I just figured out that I don't really want to continue these … Pranks. Not anymore,”

I bit my bottom lip, thinking back over those crazy, odd pranks that we had done to each other, forcing the other person into humiliating and horrifying situations. But it had all started out because of hate … I wasn't even completely sure, but in that moment, I realised that I had started to see them as fun. A challenge, something to prove myself and my worth. 

“Well … I guess we've both crossed the line a few times … “ I mumbled, looking back at Levi. As I said it, he suddenly looked down at his fingers that were fiddling with the end of his shirt. He suddenly seemed nervous … It felt rather odd, seeing the big, bad Levi Ackerman like this. 

“About crossing lines … I'm ready sorry about the other night. I shouldn't have done that,” He mumbled under his breath, his voice so low that I had almost missed it. But I was glad that I heard it, because it was probably something that he would never say again. “I guess I'm not really the best at making the right decisions, but … I also need you to know that I didn't do it because I'm in love with you. Because I'm not,” He had looked up again to stare deeply into my eyes again, holding it locked in place before continuing. “I did it because … Because I guess I like boys. And since I thought that you liked me, I just … Well. As I said, I'm not good at making the right decisions. And it's not really something that I'm proud of,”

I didn't dare to move. I didn't even dare to speak. My jaw had slowly dropped and my eyes had widened in reaction to his speech, but otherwise I was too frozen up to actually do anything else. It was like meeting a deer in the woods and being too afraid to move, because then that might scare it away. 

Was Levi seriously opening up to me right now? This boy with such a cold and hard exterior, was showing me his inner self, revealing a weakness of his … Was I really hearing right, or was this just a dream? I didn't know how to feel about this, though he only emotion that I recognised within myself was a rather surprising one … 

I felt proud. Important. Significant. As if I was the only one in the world who was allowed to see this side of Levi Ackerman. This boy, that I had once hated, was now treating me with importance. With respect. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

“Oi, brat. Stop looking like a damn fool and close that mouth of ours,”

My jaw snapped in place once more, but I still didn't feel like I could come up with an adequate answer to that.

“It's okay. I forgive you,” I ended up saying, sending him a smile that started out small but ended up widening from ear to ear. This resulted in a little smile from Levi as well, which I saw as a succes. It might not be much, but it was a genuine one, and that was all that mattered.

“I'm glad,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Levi finally revealed that he's gay! HALLELUJAH, NOW WE CAN FINALLY GET CLOSER TO THE GOOD STUFF! Haha. So what are your thoughts on this chapter? There's quite a lot of drama and overreacting (from both Eren and Levi) but I still hope that you liked it!
> 
> On another note, I would like to remind all of you lovelies that I created an account on Instagram for you guys, so that I could give you small treats like sneak peeks of the next chapters and cute pics of Ereri while we're all waiting impatiently for another chapter to be updated, heh ~ You should follow me! My name is: Ererilove
> 
> Anyways, have a great weekend you guys!


	11. Discussions in the Bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for stupid spelling mistakes, or other unfortunate things that you may encounter.
> 
> But, hey! I'm back. This chapter isn't super long (not short either), but I hope that you'll enjoy it.

CHAPTER 11

As we just kept standing there, it wasn't surprising when the cold started to bother my bare legs and arms, making me shiver all over. I started trying to pull the shorts further down, trying to cover my thighs, hoping to make some distance from the low temperature. It refused to do what I wanted though, and I quickly gave up with an annoyed grunt.

"Can we go back now?" I looked up at Levi again to make sure that he would answer me, only to find that he was already staring at me. The angry expression on his face was long gone, and it had left an amused one instead.

"What is it?" I asked in confusion, not understanding what was so entertaining to him right now.

"I can't believe you're actually wearing something like that. It's so … " Levi's eyes moved from my legs up to my eyes to catch my gaze. " … Revealing,"

My cheeks and ears turned red instantly, and my hands immediately rushed down to cover up whatever he meant by 'revealing'.

"W-Well, this is your fault anyway!" I protested, turning my head away with a loud "Hmpf!"

"Haha. Sorry," He said, though it didn't sound like he was sorry at all. "Let's get back inside before you freeze your balls off, yeah?"

I rolled my eyes, not really amused that Levi already had the indecency to talk so easily about my balls.

We walked back in silence, both deep in thoughts. When we entered the house again, the warmth quickly embraced my shivering legs, finally making me able to relax a little bit again. I breathed out in relief, but before I could even take another breath again, Levi had already walked through the hallway and into the kitchen. I followed, confused of why he suddenly had such a rush. Being just behind him I stepped into the kitchen, looking over the top of his head. There was no other than Carla, and she was only there because the table only was half-cleared for plates and pots.

I was just about to open my mouth and ask where everyone else had went, but before I could do anything, Levi had started moving again, this time towards the table. Without even a word, he started carrying the dirty tableware to the sink where my mom stood. I kept standing there, baffled at the situation and how it had evolved. But most of all, I was afraid to move because of my mom. Was she mad that we had ruined the dinner and the mood? I was convinced that if I let my presence be known, she would start yelling.

So I kept myself in place, not daring to move even the lightest. Instead, I watched Levi as he walked around, helping in cleaning up the place. He worked fast, his hands never faltering the slightest. It was the same as my mom, but she was used to it after so many years. So where did Levi get it from?

As I wondered, the place ended up spotless. The dishwasher had been started, and now there was nothing more to do.

"There's food in the refrigerator, if you're still hungry," Mom said, as she turned around. She looked at me, but she was talking to the both of us. She was holding a dishcloth in her hands, as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Oh. Thanks mom," I said, fumbling with the end of my shirt. Was I the only one feeling awkward? I probably was … They both looked rather comfortable.

"Did you work out your problems?" She tilted her head, sending me a soft smile that gave me a sudden desire to run into her arms and hug her.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Levi said, answering for me. I nodded in agreement, sending my mom a little smile.

"Where is everybody?" I hurried myself to ask, as I didn't recall us being gone for that long.

"Dad and Mikasa wanted to talk a walk down the beach. Armin didn't feel so well apparently, so he went to bed. And I'm … Here," A little chuckle followed after that, and then she threw the dishcloth onto the kitchen counter. "But I think I'll go to bed as well. Maybe read another chapter of my book. It's been a very long day after all,"

"That's true," I nodded, watching as she came towards me. "Sleep well when you get that far, then."

"Thank you, darling. And don't stay up too late yourself. I don't want to see you all grumpy and tired tomorrow morning," She stopped up in front of me, throwing her arms around me in a tight embrace. She pressed her lips against my forehead, humming lowly. "Love you,"

Surprised, but happy about the unexpected loving gestures, I returned the hug.  
"Love you too, Mom."

She let go and went over to Levi. Not even giving him time to protest, she pulled him into a hug as well, chuckling lowly as he gasped in surprise. I could see her lips moving near his ear for a few seconds before she pulled away from him as well, and my eyebrow lifted as my curiousity grew.

What had she said to him? He was grinning, that smug little smile on his lips, and I unconsciously crossed my arms in slight annoyance.

"See you tomorrow, boys."

And by that she had left the room, leaving us alone.

"So … " I mumbled, trying to break the silence, though I was probably just making it more awkward for myself.

"So? So I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed now." Levi stated, before turning his back to me as well.

"Oh, okay. Well then, I guess I should – " Before I had finished my sentence he had already left the room, leaving me behind. I sighed lowly, not even bothering to finish the sentence, before moving towards the door as well.

When I got to my room's door, I couldn't help but to hesitate, letting my hand linger on the doorknob. I didn't know exactly why, but I wasn't sure what to expect once I entered this room, and the thought frightened me. Still, I convinced myself that it was just a silly thought, and pushed the door open. The room was covered in darkness, making me believe that Armin had gone to bed at first. But this wasn't the case. As soon as I had gotten inside and closed the door, the lamp at the nightstand was turned on, revealing Armin who was sitting up, leaning against the wall.

"Hey you. I thought you were asleep," I said, sending him a little smile that he didn't return.

"I wasn't," Armin answered, looking my way, but not completely at me – it was like his eyes were focused on something behind me, though there wasn't anything there.

"Oh … I just heard you aren't feeling well." I said, walking over to sit on my side of the bed, immediately crawling under the duvet. I was craving the warmth underneath it, yet since it hadn't been used, it was completely cold. Great.

"I'm not sick, if that's what you're asking," Armin mumbled, pulling his legs up so he could wrap his arms around them and rest his chin on the kneecaps, all while keeping his gaze pointed at me.

"Oh … Well, that's good." I wasn't sure what else to say, so I just kept my mouth shut after that. Armin clearly seemed like he needed to get something off his chest, so I would just wait for him to gather up to courage to spit it out.

It didn't take long for that to happen.

"What's going on between you and Levi?"

The question surprised me. That was what he had been thinking and worrying about?

"Um … Nothing?" I said, still quite baffled.

"No, don't say that. I know that something isn't right. The way you're acting towards each other … It's not right. I thought your pranks were harmless, but I don't know … Ugh," Armin drove a hand through his hair, revealing his forehead that so often before had been hidden away. It was a rare sight to see Armin this frustrated and at a loss for words. "I just … I know you said that you hated him, but … The whole scene at dinner. I just don't … Please explain what's going on. I don't understand,"

I furrowed my brows. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. So instead, I answered him with a new question.

"It's so weird to see you like this. You always know everything, I don't really recall a time where you didn't have some sort of idea of what was going on,"

"Eren, you're my boyfriend, of course this is a whole new field for me. I don't know the proper way to react in these types of scenarios!" Armin said, raising his tone a bit, letting his frustration shine through. I couldn't hide my astonishment of this.

"These types of scenarios? What exactly are you talking about?"

"I'm just trying to say … Ugh, I don't even know myself. I just don't like what is going on between you and Levi. Something isn't right,"

I raised an eyebrow, chewing my lip as I thought about what he was telling me.

"Armin," I started out, just to say anything because I didn't have any clue on how to go on from there. "You don't really know the whole truth, so I get that it seems confusing for you. But really, there is nothing going on. Actually, I don't even know what you are referring to, when you say it like that,"

"I'm referring to the weird tension. I want to know if something happened between you,"

"Are you accusing me of cheating?" I asked surprised.

"No! No, not really … "

But even though he had said those words, he had still hesitated. And the silence between us seemed to only point in one direction.

"Come on, Armin! I wouldn't do that, you know that!"

Armin wasn't even looking at me any more. His cheeks were red, and he staring right ahead, avoiding my gaze. Did he believe me?

"I'm sorry, it's just … The line between love and hate is a very thin one. All of that bickering of yours could easily be seen as sexual tension … I don't want to accuse you of anything. I trust you completely, Eren, it's just … I don't trust _him_ ,"

My eyes widened when hearing him say those words. This was almost surreal. Yet, he was right at some points. But most of them was something that Eren was having a hard time realising and accepting himself. So how could he discuss something like that with Armin, his boyfriend? This was a subject that should be talked about among best friends, but sadly it was becoming harder and harder to keep that title with Armin.

"Well, maybe you should have a little more faith in him then," The words came out by themselves before I could stop them, and Armin immediately snapped his head in my direction, surprised by my wrods. I was surprised as well, not having expected to defend Levi like that.

"Why should I?"

"Because he might not be that bad!" I kept going, not sure why though.

"Not that bad? Then tell me why he isn't. Convince me, and I will stop worrying about it."

"I … I can't,"

"You can't?"

I shook my head, and now it was my turn to look away. Armin sat up onto his knees, to better focus on me. He clenched his hands into fists, though they were just resting on his thighs.

"Why not?"

"I can't just tell you. It's private," I wasn't sure why I was keeping it a secret, but for some reason I didn't want Armin to know what Levi had confided in me. I still felt privileged and happy to be the only one knowing, and I wasn't going to stab Levi in the back and tell Armin.

"Yes, you can! I'm your boyfriend, Eren, I need to know these kind of things!"

Oh, so he was bringing up the boyfriend card?

"Well, maybe I just need you to be my bestfriend right now!" I exclaimed, clenching my jaw in frustration.

"And I need my boyfriend!" He immediately yelled afterwards, raising his fists to show how serious he was.

The silence that followed was almost deadly, our eyes almost sparkling with all the angry tension between us, before I finally answered him, my voice now sounding low and filled with bitterness.

"Well, maybe I don't want that anymore,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch. I know that their break up was inevitable, but I still feel really bad for Armin. This whole situation really sucks for him.
> 
> Anyways, I'm sorry that I've been taking forever to upload. I've been dealing with a lot of crappy stuff lately, and haven't been feeling very good. So I hope that you can bear over with me ~


	12. Break-ups Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments. Yelling. Crying. Being comforted. Sleeping in someone else's bed. Waking up alone.

"Wh-What?" Armin stopped his movements, and his arms fell down as if they were made of spaghetti. He looked at me with such confusion and hurt in his eyes, it was almost unbearable to continue on with this conversation.

How could I hurt this person, whom I cared for so deeply?

"I … I dont – "

"No, I _know_ what you said. I heard it," Armin quickly interrupted, his eyes widening. "Don't patronise me like that,"

"I'm not trying to patronise you," I instantly said, sitting up more straight to be able to better focus on Armin. "I would never do that,"

"Then why … Why … ?" Armin placed his hand over his eyes, covering them up as he lowered his head. I tried to swallow as a giant lump had placed itself in my throat. I felt so bad already, so if Armin started crying … How could I go through with it, if he started crying?

"Armin, I'm so sorry, but … I just don't love you that way. It doesn't have anything to do with Levi! I just don't want to pretend to be in a relationship where I don't feel the same … Connection … As the other person do. I just … I want my best friend back,"

When he didn't answer me, I tried reaching out for his shoulder, but that was when Armin looked up again. I had expected tears, but instead I was met with anger and rage.

" _Don't touch me_!" He exclaimed, as he hit out after my hand, and succeeding. On instinct I moved away, hitting my back against the wall.

There was no way to describe my bewilderment. Armin had never been violent with me before. Actually, he had never been violent before, _at all_.

"A-Armin … "

" _D-Don't_! Don't say my name in that tone … You can _never_ say my name like that ever again!" Armin's voice had become ragged and shaky, barely covering up the sob that was stuck in his throat.

It broke my heart, seeing him like this.

"Please don't – "

"Please don't _what_?!" He said, grabbing his pillow and hugged it tightly to his stomach. "Please don't hate me? Please don't think badly of me? Please don't think that I don't love you? Well, _guess what_. Don't go spitting out words that doesn't mean _shit_ ,"

My jaw dropped in astonishment as I had never heard Armin speak like that – and this gave Armin the opportunity that he had wanted. He pulled the pillow out from his chest and swung it right into my face. I fell backwards, landing on my ass and looking up at him – shocked, to say it mildly.

"Get out! _Get out_!" He screamed at me, throwing the pillow right at me. I felt my heart starting to beat faster as the panic spread through my body. If it kept going like this, I would loose him before I ould even start to make amends.

And it only gave me a bad premonition of what to come.

"Armin, _listen to me_ ," I exclaimed, looking into his eyes with as much intensity as I could muster. "Please try to understand!"

"No, you listen to me! I don't want to see you right now, so _get the fuck out_!"

Another pillow was thrown, hitting me in the face. I couldn't dodge it, so I decided to stand up instead.

"Now! Get out _now_!"

I backed away slowly, staring at the enraged boy who was sitting in the bed that we had shared only moments ago. It didn't seem like I would be able to talk him into reasoning with me anymore, yet I was still hesistant about leaving.

It felt like if I left now, I wouldn't be able to come back. That if I turned my back on him now, I wouldn't be able to fix this.

But I also knew that it was too much right now – Armin was too upset to be calmed down by me.

There was nothing more I could do.

I sent him one last look before turning to the door and opening it. I wanted to say some last words to him, but it was like they were stuck in my throat, refusing to be spoken.

_I'm sorry._

Only as I had closed the door before another _dunk_ was heard. I guessed it to be another pillow that had been thrown at it in frustration, but there was no way to tell anymore. I sighed silently, starinh down at my hand that was still resting on the doorknob. I really didn't want to let go.

"Are you okay?"

I gasped, turning around in surprise at the sudden presence of another person. My eyes locked themselves with his immediately, as I reached up to cover my chest with my hand. I could feel my heart racing.

"Jesus Christ! You almost gave me a heart attack,"

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention. I was just worried, I guess … You two are making an awful lot of noise,"

Being reminded of it again, I lowered my head and sighed.

" … Oh,"

"Don't be like that,"

Levi grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the door and into his own room. I tripped backwards, and it was only by luck that I didn't fall on my ass again.

"Wh-What are you doing?" I asked, looking at him with confusion.

"It was probably better to get away from that door. If I was able to hear your argument, Armin would probably be able to hear us talk as well if we kept standing right outside his room.

I gulped, realising that he was right. And then … I realised something even worse.

"Y-You heard?"

Levi sent me a little smile, but there was nothing happy about it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop,"

I sat down at the bed nearest to me, and then proceeding to fall onto my back, sighing loudly.

"It's okay … "

I felt tired. Too tired to think about it anymore. My whole body felt heavy, and it was almost like I could fall asleep right here and now, and sleep the whole night through.

Worst part of it was just, that I didn't have any place to sleep. I had been thrown out of my own bed, after all.

"Can I ask you something?" Levi had placed himself by my side, sitting crossed-legged in the middle of the bed. When I opened my eyes, I could look straight up and see right into his eyes. He had leaned over me to get my attention, and he had suceeded.

"Uh – Y-Yes?" I stammered, my cheeks flustering by the sudden closeness. I felt rather uncomfortable by this, not to mention I could even feel his warm breath on my cheek.

"Did you break up because of me?"

My eyes widened, and I looked at him in surprise.

"Wh-What?"

"I heard you talking about me. About me and you. And then suddenly Armin was yelling, and you were thrown out. I mean … It seems pretty clear,"

"N-No! It wasn't like that," I quickly said, sitting up as well – or tried, at least. My forehead hit his, and I fell back in the bed, groaning loudly in pain.

"What the hell, Jaeger?" Levi groaned as well, his hand covering his forehead. "Don't be so reckless!"

"Sorry!" I sat up more carefully now, placing myself in the crossed-legged position as well. "I just … No, it wasn't because of you. We had problems before, no – I had problems before all of this … " I took a deep breath and then looking away to avoid his gaze. It felt embarassing to tell him, but it would feel even more embarassing if I was to look into his eyes while doing so.

"We got together because we both found out that we were into boys … I guess it just felt natural, you know … Obvious to be together after that. But I never … Felt the way that he felt … The way that he feels,"

"Oh," Was his only answer.

I stared at him for a while, trying to figure out what he was thinking, but to no luck.

"I was the one who broke up with him," I ended up finally saying. "He didn't break up with me because of you. I … I was … I was the one who … " The last words were caught in my throat, refusing to come out. I could feel my eyes getting watery, so I quickly lowered my head to hide my weakness.

"Oh my god, what have I done … " I mumbled as I started to realise what had just happened. I buried my face, though I felt more like I just wanted to hide away completely under a cover.

"Calm down. It's not your fault,"

I could hear the soothing words being whispered in my ear at the same time as arms were being wrapped around me in a warm embrace. It was an awkward and uncomfortable position to be hugged in, so I straightened my back and moved closer. Instead of buried in my hands I could now hide my face away by burying it into Levi's shirt, while gripping it tightly with my hands. The hands had muffled the sounds I had been making before, but now it was only the thin fabric of his, and that couldn't stop my sobs from being heard.

"I th-think I f-fucked up," I whispered, my shoulders shaking against his arms that kept themselves tightly wrapped around me. I had no idea why Levi was being so kind to me right now, especially after everything that had happened between us. Yet that was the last thing on my mind right this minute – Right now, I just gladly received his kindness.

"You didn't. You made the right choice, it … It just hurts right now," He mumbled, his chin resting on the top of my head. "But it'll get better, I promise,"

I didn't answer that, because there was nothing more to say. I knew that he was right, so there was no point in spitting out words that didn't mean anything. Instead I just kept sobbing quietly, until there was no more tears left in me.

However, by then I had already fallen asleep.

\- - - - - 

It wasn't Armin's sweet smile that woke me that morning. Or his cute, sleeping face. Or his relaxing voice that would reach in and pull me out of whatever dream I was having.

Instead I woke up, cold and alone, in a bed that wasn't mine. This strange feeling of finding myself sleeping in some unknown persons bed made me awake at once, though it didn't take me long to recognise the room. This was Mikasa and Levi's – sure enough, Mikasa's bed was on the other side of the room. She was even still sleeping in her bed, her back turned towards me. So it must sontill be morning, since even Mikasa hadn't awoken yet.

So now that just left the last question – where was Levi?

If I had spent the night in his bed … Where had he spent his night?

I got up, glad that I were at least still dressed in the clothes from last night, and silently got out of the room. As I stood in the hallway, I couldn't help but notice that the door to Armin's room was closed, and I wondered if he was still in there. Of course there was no way to tell if he was, especially because I was too afraid of walking in there. What sight would be waiting for me inside?

Instead I climbed down the stairs, and headed to the kitchen. I had literally no idea how to deal with the situation once I met the others at breakfast. I was aware that Levi knew, but did my mother? Since Levi had heard, there was a good chance that my mother had did as well, even though she was sleeping downstairs while Levi had been sleeping right across the hall. Mikasa and dad definitely hadn't heard, since they had been at the beach at the time, but I could never be too sure.

And who wouldn't say that Levi had told them what had happened? Even though he had been kind to me yesterday, there was no way of knowing if he was going to stab me in the back. After all, there was no way of knowing if I could actually trust him, especially after everything that had happened.

"Good morning, darling." Mom greeted me as I walked into the kitchen. She was cutting out several pieces of fruits on the chopping board, probably making some sort of breakfast for all of us.

"Hey mom," I greeted, looking around the room. There was no one but us. "Where's dad? And everyone else?"

"Dad is reading the paper in the livingroom, and Levi is in the swimmingpool. Mikasa and Armin are still sleeping, I suppose."

"Ahh, alright then."

"Actually now that you are here, wouldn't you be a dear and go tell everyone that breakfast is ready?"

My face became pale and my limbs became stiff as I realised what that meant. There was no way that I could get out of my mother's request without revealing to her what had happened between us.

"O-Okay … " I mumbled, unsure where to start. If Armin was the one I feared the most, I should probably save him for last. Maybe I could even ask Mikasa to do it for me? No matter what, I should probably just try and get through this day as quickly as possible.

I stepped into the livingroom, spotting out my father at once. As my mother had already said, he was reading the paper while sitting in the couch, making me unable to see his face completely.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Mom says breakfast is ready,"

"Mmh-hmm,"

And with that I headed outside to greet Levi. Though he wasn't actually there as my mother had said that he would be – there was no one in sight.

I was standing right in front of the swimming pool as I had been told he would be in, but it was empty except for a few leaves floating on the surface.

"Levi? Leeeeeevi?" I called out, forming my hands in front of my mouth to make my voice louder. I stood in silence for a moment, looking around to spot him, but he didn't appear.

"Eh … " So, where could he be? The annex, perhaps?

I looked at the direction it was in, and even though it looked untouched, I took the chance anyway and walked towards it. The additional building was small and had only one door. It was supposed to be containing the indoor spa bath, though it had stayed unused for such a long time that there was even dark fabric covering up the windows making it impossible for me to spot him from the outside.

How bothersome that I had to go to such lengths to tell Levi that breakfast was ready. Why couldn't he just have been sleeping like Mikasa was?

Oh yeah, that was right … I was the one who had stolen his bed, after all. Even if he had been sleeping, how would I have been able to find him if he had been sleeping some unknown place?

Without even knocking I opened the door to make way. The steam met me immediately, making it rather hard to breathe when your lungs was used to fresh air.

I started coughing rather heavily while blinking several times to make my eyes more used to the steamy area.

"L-Levi?" I called out, not really expecting an answer as I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. "Are you in here?" Someone clearly had to be in here, otherwise there shouldn't be any steam. But I was having a hard time understanding why Levi would be in a spa bath like this, and even so early in the morning.

"Hmm?" A groaning voice could be heard from the other side of the room, and I stepped forward while trying to get my eyes to adapt. At least, I was able to make out some of my surroundings by now, even if it wasn't much.

"Levi, is that you?" I asked in a lowly tone as I took another step forward and – _BADUNK_

" _Ahhh_!" I fell down into the hot water before me, instantly scolding my skin from the surprising warmth of the water. The hole wasn't deep so the water only went to my thighs. This would mean that even my clothes wouldn't have become wet – If only I hadn't fallen in, that is.

"Stupid brat," Levi mumbled, grabbing me under my armpits before my head got under water. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry," I gasped, my hands reaching up to his shoulders for support. "I c-couldn't see anything and fell in … "

"My god … " Levi sighed, lifting me up so that I could stand on my legs again. Apparently I had fallen down into the spa bath where Levi had been sitting. It was one of those circle formed ones with a step at the ends. I was standing in the middle of it, so that the water now went to my belly button. Levi was standing in front of my, however he seemed to be … _Ehh?!_

"Why are you taller than me?!" I exclaimed in surprise, looking _up_ at Levi. He was looking down at me, his hands placed on his hips.

"Don't patronise me!" He said with an annoyed tone, nudging my shoulder so that I was forced to take a step away if I didn't want to fall backwards again. "I'm standing on the damn step, brat."

"Oh," I took a deep breath while studying him from top to toe. "Why, um … " Somehow I had become distracted by his half-naked body being so close to me. He was only wearing shorts, and his stomach was something that had my eyes lingering a little to long. "Uh, wh-why are you in here this early in the morning?"

Levi raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to try and get my attention up to his face again. I noticed after a few seconds, quickly looking up and into his eyes once more.

"Well, _someone_ slept in _my_ bed, so I had to sleep on the couch. As a result, my back is killing me … And I was once told that a spa bath like this relaxed all your muscles."

"Oh … I'm sorry," I mumbled, immediately feeling ashamed as I was reminded once more of what had happened yesterday. We stood there for a few minutes, as I had seemingly forgotten what my first intention of coming here had been.

"Wanna join me?"

"H-Huh?" I looked around the bath, not sure if that was a good idea. I already felt awkward and uncomfortable, especially when being in the presence of a naked Levi, so it probably would be better to get out of here instead of staying. However, just as I were about to open my mouth to say no, Levi interrupted me.

"You must be pretty tired as well, after everything that has happened … I mean – " He sat down on the step, leaning back and crossing the left leg over the right one. He looked up at me, raising a challenging eyebrow. " – You did cry yourself to sleep,"

My whole face flustered, and I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth and nose to cover it up as a result.

"Don't mock me,"

"I wasn't,"

We stared at each other in silence for a long moment.

"Oh, come on Eren. You clearly need to get it off your chest," He sighed, leaning forward and making a hand gesture to tell me that I should come closer. "You can talk to me,"

"I don't know … " I hesistated, looking away. I still wasn't sure if I could trust Levi. But I was also reminded that he had been kind to me yesterday … So what was the point of doing that, if not that he wanted stop giving me hardships? Unless he was going to take advantage of my words, and use it later for some cruel joke. There was really no way to tell. Even though he seemed genuine right now, there was no way for me to tell if it was some kind of facade.

"Come on now, don't be shy," Levi let out a small chuckle has he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down in a sitting position at his side. I let out a little whine of surprise, though I didn't resist.

"Have you already forgotten how I opened up to you last night? You shouldn't be afraid of doing the same," He said, looking at me with a serious gaze again. "This way, I guess we'll be even,"

"I suppose that's true … " I mumbled, avoiding his intense gaze as my fingers fiddled with the wet fabric of my shirt. He was right, after all he had opened up to me yesterday, telling me about his sexual orientation. If he really trusted me by telling me such a big thing, why was I so afraid of talking to him about this?

"He's so angry," I mumbled, looking down at my busy hands. "I'm not sure he'll forgive me. Ever. I've never seen him like that before … He has never been violent or used bad words like that … "

"Violent how?" Levi asked, and I wasn't sure if I were just imagining the worried tone in his voice.  
"He just … Pushed me, and threw pillows. At least he didn't hit me, but … Armin's a gentle soul. So the fact that he wanted to hurt me by using physical violence is … Is bad,"

"I see," Levi mumbled, and silence quickly grew thick between us.

"What are you going to do now then?" He asked after a long moment. I looked up and into his eyes, sighing lowly.

"I suppose i'll … Give him space?" I shrugged, feeling down with a rather defeatist attitude.

"That's probably a good idea. Now that he has gotten some time to cool down, you don't know how he'll react. The best thing to do is to wait until he approaches you, and then take it from there,"

I nodded, agreeing silently with what he was saying.

"Yeah … You're right,"

"Cheer up, brat. Don't look so sullen,"

"What, who are you calling sullen?" I made a _hmpf_ -sound and crossed my arms, feeling rather offended by his comment. "You're the one who walks around all the time, looking like someone who can smells farts all the time,"

" _What_? Farts? What are you talking about, brat?!" Levi gasped, primming his lips together and crinkling his nose in annoyance. I couldn't help but laugh at that, raising my hand to point directly at his face.

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Damn it, Jaeger! Shut up with that nonsense!" Levi groaned, grabbing my shirt and pulling me down under water. I was pulled up again as quickly as I had been, though the difference was just that I was now completely wet and gasping after air.

"Wh-What the hell?! I thought we were done doing pranks on each other?" I protested, slapping his hands lightly to make him release his grip on my shirt. However, even though I tried sounding serious, I still couldn't help but laugh by the whole situation.

"Oh come on, as if I have any intention of that," Levi said, rolling his eyes. Apparently my laughter had an affect on him as well, as his otherwise cold face expression broke with a smile.

But my laughter soon stopped again as I heard what he had said.

"Do you mean that?" I asked calmly, feeling rather serious at this very moment. Levi clearly notices the change in the athmosphere, as his smile disappeared, and he furrowed his eyebrows questioningly instead.

"What?"

"That you don't want to … Do that anymore?"

"Eren, I've already said that I don't want to fight with you anymore. It was stupid to provoke and tease you in the past, but seriously, I mean it when I way that I'm done with that. The last thing you need right now is another quarrel with someone … You need to focus on fixing things with Armin,"

"Ah, you're absolutely right … I need to focus on Armin right now," I mumbled, nodding in agreement as the thoughts flew through my head. "And Armin thinks that you're involved in this somehow … Even though I've tried telling him that it's not like that,"

Levi looked at me in silence for a second, before letting go of my shirt and standing up.

"So you're saying that it would be best if we didn't socialise with each other right now?"

I nodded silently before standing up as well.

"Fine. Whatever," Levi said, before getting up from the bath. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around his waist. "I don't mind."

Even though I was the one saying the words, I still felt bad. We had finally reached a point where none of us wanted to harm or tease each other anymore, and now I was forced to stop it all from progressing further. Even though it was for the cause of Armin, I still couldn't help but to have this bad feeling in my stomach that was telling me that I was about to lose something important.

_Don't be stupid_ , I quickly thought to myself. _How can I lose something that I didn't even have in the first place?_

"Well, uh … Actually, breakfast is ready, so we should probably head inside to the others," I said hesistantly, before turning to the door. Levi followed silently, closing the door behind us as we walked out.

Without saying anything further, we walked towards the main house, unaware of the familiar blonde observing us from his room's window above us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart aches for Armin. 
> 
>  
> 
> IG: Ererilove


	13. Theme Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

I wasn't really in the mood for going to a theme park, but I couldn't really come up with an excuse for not going. So when my mom asked after breakfast if we were ready to go, I couldn't really do anything other than nod and then go to my room to get ready.

At least my clothes had been washed and dried up over the night by my mom, so that wasn't a problem I had to concern myself with anymore. And Armin was already standing ready downstairs, so I was left all to myself in the bedroom – finally. I grabbed my usual pants and a turqouise shirt to give the outfit a good contrast to all the black. I threw over a dark cardigan, in case it would get cold, and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put some gel in my hair. I ended up spending twice the amount on my looks than I usually did, which was rather surprising. I wasn't really sure why, so I ended up guessing that it was just because so much time had gone by, where I had been forced to use someone else's clothes, so I hadn't been able to feel like myself. That had to be it.

I gave myself a last look in the mirror before walking out, carefully closing all doors behind me. The last thing I wanted was to piss Armin off even more by some silly thing like an open door.

Ugh, just thinking about him made my heart hurt. Was he still angry with me? I really wanted to have a talk with him today, I just wasn't really sure how to handle this kind of situation. Just by imagining the possibility of him ignoring me if I tried to approach him made me feel uncomfortable. I really didn't want it to be like this, and the whole situation felt horrible, but I had to be grown-up about this and face the consequences of my actions.

I headed down the stairs – skipping a few steps on the way as I knew I was the only one that everyone was waiting for – and ran through the house to get outside. Everyone were already placed inside the car. My mom and Armin was sitting in the front – thank god, otherwise sitting next to him could have been a catastrophe – and Mikasa sitting in the back. Levi was leaning up against the open car door, staring at me with the usual stern look on his face as I walked towards him.

"Who do you look all dressed up?" He asked, sounding almost annoyed by the fact.

"Um … I guess I just felt like it?" I mumbled with blushing cheeks, suddenly feeling self-conscious about my looks. I went past him, still feeling his eyes on me as I crawled over to my seat in the middle. When I had gotten my seatbelt on, Levi came into the car as well, and then an not-so-surprising-but-still-very-awkward silence occurred.

I could almost taste the tension in the air, and it didn't surprise me that everyone was looking rather uptight.

"Um … Where's dad?" I asked, in the same minute as my mom turned on the engine and started backing out of the driveway.

"There wasn't room for all of us in the car, plus you know that your dad doesn't like theme parks anyway, so it's all good," She said. "But don't worry, we're still gonna have lots of fun today!"

I truly doubted that, but I wasn't going to say that out loud. Instead I leaned back and closed my eyes. I fell asleep only a few minutes after, and awoke first when we had arrived.

"Wake up, Eren." Mikasa said, giving my shoulder a soft nudge. I grunted an incomprehensive answer and opened my eyes slowly, looking around to get an idea of my surroundings. We had come in good time before it became too crowded, resulting in getting a good parking spot close to the entrance.

"Ready, everyone?" Mom asked cheerfully, completely unaware of the half-negative atmosphere around us. We all grunted something that resembled an "yeah, sure" answer, before quickly getting out of the car.

Mom went to get our tickest, so we ended up standing outside in silence until she would come back. I kept trying to hold my breath, only to distract myself from feeling too uncomfortable. Mikasa and Armin was standing a few feet aware, and it was clear that they were having a conversation, though they were whispering so it was impossible to overhear anything. Levi was standing at my side, but his arms were crossed over his chest, and he was looking in the other direction, completely occupied with something out in the distance. I was left all to myself, then.

We got out tickets a few minutes after, and after getting inside, we quickly found a table we could sit at.

"Okay kids, here's the plan," Mom said, clapping her hands together to get our attention. "I'll be staying here, so this will be like our base. I'm thinking that you can just run out and try whatever you want, and then we'll meet back here at 2 o'clock to eat lunch together. Until then, you'll get a little money for snacks, okay?"

We nodded in unison, receiving our money in silence. I expected there to be an awkward silence after that again, but luckily that didn't happen. Instead Mikasa turned around and placed a hand on my arm.

"Armin and I are gonna go out on our own. You can just walk with Levi if you want,"

"Um … O-Okay?" I said, though furrowing my eyebrows in confusement. However, before I even had the chance to ask why, they had already turned around and was walking away in a quick tempo.

I understood that Armin didn't want to be around me right now, but it still hurt like hell. Plus, I didn't understand how Armin would be fine with me hanging out with Levi right now, if he was paranoid that Levi was the reason that I had broken up with him.

"What was that all about? Levi asked, pulling at the end of my t-shirt to get my attention. I turned to face him, just to shrug at him.

"I'm guessing that Armin doesn't want to be around me right now … "I mumbled, chewing on my bottom lip. But as I started to glance at the direction they want in once more, Levi suddenly grabbed my arm to pull me back.

"Fuck it, Eren. Your whole day will suck if you let your problems haunt your mind like that," He said, looking at me with a surprisingly serious expression.

"Yeah … I guess you're right," I mumbled, though not truly convinced.

"You guess? Tch. I am right. Now get your cute, little butt out there and have some fun,"

My face got flustered immediately, but that embarrasment and confusion was just what Levi needed. He instantly took advantage, grabbing my arm and started walking in a different direction than the one Mikasa and Armin had walked in.

"So what do you wanna try first?" He asked after we had walked around for about five minutes.

"I don't know … " I looked around, not really wanting to try any of them, so I just mentioned the first one that there was. "That one?" I pointed at the big ride to the left, where you could constantly hear loud screams every other second. I wasn't really in the mood for having to put up a happy face that I didn't actually mean, but then again, it wouldn't be fair to Levi if I acted like a deadbeat, so I had to pull myself together.

"Um … "

I hadn't even noticed where Levi was, until he hadn't answered me for a longer time than needed. I stopped and turned around, only to see Levi standing a little further behind with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked, intrigued by whatever was worrying him. When he finally noticed me as well, his face turned expressionless again and he shrugged.

"Nothing. Let's do it," He said with a certain tone, suddenly walking quickly ahead.

We got into the line that was rather short, probably because this placed wasn't crowded yet. It didn't take more than five minutes before we were in front of the line.

"Uh, sorry, can you step out of the line, please?" A skinny, redheaded teenage girl asked, making hand gestures at us. Confused, we went over to her, who had turned around. When she turned back around, she was holding a long measurement stick.

"Can you please turn your back to me sir?" She said, looking only at Levi. I turned my head to look at him as well, whose eyes had widened and jaw had dropped.

"Are you _fucking kidding me_?" He growled through clenched teeth, his hands turning into fists.

"Please cooperate sir, or I can't let you on the ride," She said, though looking rather nervous. I didn't blame her – Levi could be terrifying when he was pissed off, and she was definitely doing a good job of pissing him off a great deal.

"Tch. I _knew_ I shouldn't have done this … " I heard him mumble before doing as the girl had said and turning around. She measured him only to find out that he was indeed tall enough to get on the ride.

"You can get on now. Sorry for the inconvenience,"

"No problem," I asnwered for Levi, since it seemed like he would explode if he had to speak to her any more than necessary. Speaking for myself, I was just having a hard time trying not to luch. At least not out loud.

"What are you looking at?" He hissed at me when noticing how I kept looking at him through the corners of my eyes.

"Nothing," I said, letting out a small chuckle that had been impossible to keep in.

"Brat," He mumbled, though he didn't look as mad as I would have expected him to still be.

"Have you ever tried that before?" I asked him as we got into the cart.

"Too many times," He sighed, rolling his eyes. "But that was years ago. I thought it wouldn't happen again after all that time,"

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Levi being treated as a child and being forced to put up with it.

"Stop smiling," He groaned, nudging his elbow into my side.

"Oh, come on," I grinned, hust as the carts started rolling. "You gotta admit that it's a little bit funny!"

Levi just rolled his eyes as a response, but I was lucky enough to notice how the corners of his mouth turned upwards just before he looked away.

The ride was a jumble of fun, chaos and screams, and then it was over. It felt like only a second, however what came next was all worth it.

We had only gotten outside in the street again, before I noticed it.

Levi's hair was a complete mess. Unlike me, who had hair gel in, his hair had gone untouched. That had resulted in his hair now sitting on ways that I would have thought to be impossible.

I broke out in immediate laughter, instantly confusing Levi.

"What the hell, breat?"

"Look," Was the only thing I could muster to say, placing a hand over my stomach to reliev the cramps from laughing, while the other hand pointed towards a metal plate that he could see his reflection in.

I waited for him to get mad, got annoyed or get embarrassed when he saw how crazy funny he looked, but that never happened. Instead he did something that left me in astonishment.

He _laughed._

It felt refreshing to hear it, especially because it was so rare to hear him have a genuine laugh like that. I was smitten with it as well, continuing my own.

"Shit, I look ridiculous!" He chuckled as he turned around to face me again. I removed some tears that had formed in my eye corners because of all the laughing, and nodded in agreement.

"You really do," I giggled, biting my lip as I stared at him while he fixed it. "Nooo, you should have let it stay like that!" I protested weakly, just as a joke. He rolled his eyes at me, though chuckled at the comment.

"Oh yeah? If I have to look silly, then so do you!"

He jumped towards me, grabbing my left wrist so he could pin me to the tree that was right behind me. I squealed as he started to tousle my hair, but everytime I tried grabbing his hand with my right hand, he succesfully evaded it.

"Stop it!" I whined, trying to get away – he was strong though, keeping me in place, though he had to press his body against mine in order to do so.

"Don't, noooo!" I laughed, wriggling my left hand out of his, so I could grab his other hand that was still buried in my hair. He finally stopped, and for a moment we just stood there, handholding and out of breath.

My own gaze had entangled itself with his, and for a moment there, I felt a sudden urge to kiss him. But he had already pulled himself away, and the moment was over. We went on to the next ride, and after that, I bought some candy floss while he bought some ice cream. I teased him by saying that I would smear the sticky candy floss in his hair, but when I started reaching for his hair as a part of the joke, he ended up smearing his ice cream all over my left cheek.

All in all, it was a good day. We had lots of fun, and for a good while I could just forget about all my problems and enjoy the day with Levi by my side.

And for the first time, me and Levi actually got along … No, even better.

It felt like we had become _friends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my. The development continues. What do you think?
> 
> Next chapter will be the last of their trip, and then they will come home again ... And then shit will kick in the door and fuck it up. Haha, jk
> 
> So ... Are y'all good? I just got back from a study trip with my class, and now I'm insanely tired. But also happy, because I have vacation now, so I can focus on writing more chapters and relax.
> 
> Well ... Stay lovely, guys!
> 
> Instagram: Ererilove


	14. Best Friends

The rest of the day went by rather smoothly, as Armin and Mikasa just stuck to each other until we got home again. I had kinda wished for Armin to approach me all day, but that hadn't happened. Not yet, anyways.

I was having a hard time gathering courage to do it myself, and besides, it didn't exactly help that Mikasa now had been involved. Well, it wasn't for sure, but it sure as hell seemed like it by the way they were constantly whispering in each other's ears, and looking in my direction.

We arrived back in time for dinner, and as a surprise, my dad had prepared something resembled a feast. He had started up the grill and was in the middle of turning around steaks and sausages when we had gotten home.

"What's that delicious smell?" My mom asked as she sniffed several times when we got into the house. When she got into the living room, where the large human-sized windows revealed what was happening outside, she squealed loudly and ran out of the door and into the yard.

"Grisha, you didn't!" She whined happily, as she threw her arms around his neck into a warm embrace.

"Surprise, honey." Grisha said calmly, although kissing her cheek. "Now you don't have to do any work. Just sit down and relax, okay?"

"Alright .." She said reluctantly, though still looking around as she pulled away from him. "What about plates? And juice with ice cubes in them? Or some light snacks? How about I go make some?"

"Hold it right there, Carla Jaeger!" Grisha exclaimed as she was about to turn around and go back inside. He quickly raised a hand and pointed at us kids standing in the doorway and was witnessing the whole thing. "Levi and Mikasa, go get some plates for the outdoor table. Eren and Armin, you go make some juiec with ice. Carla, sit down." He said it all in one of those tones where you just knew that you had no other choice than to just obey him. So even though Armin probably didn't want to be anywhere near me, he still followed me silently as I walked into the kitchen.

"I'll get the juice, you can go get the ice cubes from the freezer," He said, and sine he immediately walked over to the freezer, I chose to take his silence as agreement.

I found the juice and a large jar to pour it from, and as I had put all the juice in it, Armin had come over by my side with the ice tray. He started to bend it several times, but it seemed as if the ice cubes were stuck. I silently watched Armin get more and more frustrated until the point where he started hitting the tray against the table.

"Fuck, it just won't work … " He mumbled through gritted teeth. Was that a sob I just heard? I furrowed my brows, having mixed feelings of both confusion and surprise, as I tried taking a closer look at his face. It was all covered by hair though, so there was no way I could see anything unless I was standing right in front of him.

"Here, let me try … " I said hesistantly, reaching out to take the tray from his hands, and in on swift move, I bent the tray over the jar so half of the cubes fell down into the liquid.

"There, that should be enough," I said, happy with myself that I could have done it so quickly.

However, when I turned around, Armin was standing right in front of me, his whole body except his face, facing me. He was looking down so that his golden locks covered his face, but I could still see the clenched fists and how his whole body had tensed up.

"A-Armin?"

and then I noticed the tears. They were dripping down onto the floor silently from his chin, and then he opened his mouth to let out a low sob.

"You … You idiot … " Was the only thing I could hear him whisper, before he suddenly turned around on his heel and ran out of the room. I considered running after him, but quickly came to the conclusion that it would do no good. Armin was in no condition to have a rational conversation right now … He needed comfort and I couldn't be the one to give it to him anymore.

So I let him go.

I grabbed the juice and put it on a tray with 6 glasses – just in case that Armin would come back – and walked aoutside again.

Levi and Mikasa was busy preparing the table, while mom was stnading at the grill with her arms wrapped around dad from behind.

But as soon as Mikasa saw that I was standing alone, she came over.

"Where's Armin?"

"He, um, went upstairs," I mumbled while scratching the back of my neck nervously. Mikasa sighed, clearly she had already figured out what had happened – well, the gist of it.

"I'll check on him," She said, sending me a judgemental look that immediately made me feel guilty, before she turned around and went inside the house one more.

I sat down on the nearest chair, and buried my face in my hands.

Great. This was just great. And here I had thought that it would be a good day, and then it turns out like this. It even seemed like Mikasa blamed me as well for what was happening.

But what could I do? It felt impossible to fix this mess, especiallt because I had no idea how. I had never tried this kind of this before, so –

"Oi, Eren. You okay?"

I looked up as I felt a hand caressing my back, only to look directly into Levi's grey eyes, that suddenly didn't feel as cold as they had before. I was left speechless for a few seconds, as Levi's face appeared to be much closer to mine than was considered normal. The only thought that went through my mind, though, was completely different.

How come Armin and Mikasa was my best friends, when it was Levi that was the only one who was here for me right now?

"I'm … Fine," I mumbled, as I was only focusing in the soothing touches from him on my back.

It felt so … Comforting.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Since I'm assuming that this is about Armin,"

"You're right about that, but … No, I don't really feel like talking about it," I bit my bottom lip before sending him a warm smile as if to tell him that I appreciated him trying to cheer me up. "Thanks though,"

"Always,"

The timing couldn't have been more perfect, because in the same moment as I stood up with Levi, Mikasa came out again and went straight towards me.

"Eren," She started out, sounding very serious. "I don't know what the hell you've done, or what exactly happened between you two, but you seriously need to get your butt upstairs and start fixing it,"

I raised both eyebrows in astonishment, completely taken back by her words. I couldn't help but feel attacked, as if she was saying that it was all my fault.

"What the hell I've done? I've done nothing wrong, I haven't even – "

"Stop it, Eren!" She interrupted, loud enough to even get my parent's attention. "I don't want to hear it! Are you even aware of how horrible it is to see your best friends fighting? I can't stand it! I don't know what the hell happened between you two, I just know that it needs to be stopped. So whatever you're afraid of, just get over it already! Because I can promise you that Armin is up there right now, feeling ten times worse. So get on with it! Now!"

Silence lay over us as she finished, a thick layer that made me feel claustrophobic and suffocated. That had probably also something to do with the fact that everyone was staring at me, waiting to see what my next move would be.

"Fine," I said, though sounding hesistant. "Just … Start dinner without us, okay?" I said, addressing my parents with the last sentence, and without waiting for an answer, I turned around and walked inside.

In a normal tempo, I walked through the house and up the starts. It was first when I was standing in front of the bedroom door that my movements became reluctant. Still, I raised my hand and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" I heared Armin's tearful voice cry out, but out of fear that he'd just lock the door if knowing that it was me, I just stayed quiet. I took a deep breath instead, before entereing the room, afraid of the sight that would meet me.

"Hey," I said in a low, soothing voice as I closed the door befind me. Armin was sitting on the bed, and his crying face gave him away in an instant.

"Go away, Eren." He mumbled, before looking away.

I didn't. Instead, I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Armin … If we don't fix this before we get home, I'm afraid that we won't get another chance. And I hate the thought that we'll be throwing our whole friendship away. I mean … Is that really what you want?"

Armin sniffed as he considered my words, though he still didn't look my way.

"No … No, of c-course not … "

"I don't want that either," I said, as his answer had encouraged me to keep on going. "I still care about you, Armin. You'll always be my best friend. And even though it isn't the way you want, I also love you. So I really don't think I would make it, knowing that you now hated me … "

"I … Don't hate you," Armin mumbled, turning his head just enough so that he was able to look at me through the corner of his eye. I immediately took the opportunity to send him a warm smile.

"Oh … I'm glad,"

Silence occurred, as a sign that it was his turn to speak. I waited patiently for several moments, as he tried to gather enough courage to say what was on his mind.

"I just … I love you so much. And I guess deep down I knew that you didn't return my feelings completely … But I just tried to deny and suppress it, because I was finally so happy. And that was enough for me to overlook your own unhappiness, I guess ..."

"I wasn't unhappy," I quickly said, as that was a horrible untrue thing that I didn't want him to believe. "I just always felt like something wasn't quite right … But I was never unhappy. Please don't believe that for even a second anymore!"

"Okay, okay," Armin quickly mumbled, as he raised his hands up in defense. I guess I had come on a little too strongly, though it seemed like he was half-joking.

"Sorry,"

"It's fine," Armin turned his whole body to finally face me straight on. A small smile slowly appeared on his face, and in that moment it felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I had been so afraid of the thought that I never would be able to see that lovely smile of his ever again.

"Oh my god, you have no idea of the relief I feel right now," I sighed happily, placing a hand on my chest. "I thought that I never would get to see you smile like that again,"

"Don't be so melodramatic," Armin said, though he was also chuckling. He then sent me an even bigger smile, though it was a goofy one.

"There. Happy?"

"Overjoyed!" I squealed, laughing as I threw myself towards him, throwing my arms around his neck. Surprised by the sudden added weight, Armin feel backwards and landed on his back. We both laughed as I pulled away a little, so that I was able to look properly at him.

"So … Still best friends?"

Armin didn't even have to consider it.

"Best friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGGHHH, finally it's over! It was becoming a bother that there was so much still going on between Eren and Armin, so I'm glad that now I'll be able to focus on Levi and Eren's developing relationship! Wuuuuuh, finally!
> 
> Anywho ... Hope you've all been feeling well? I'm sorry I take so long to update, but with a depression it's always a struggle to find energy for writing, even though I really want to ~
> 
> Well, I'm really looking forward to reading all your reviews and thoughts on this chapter, so be sure to leave one! I always get happy when reading you're reviews! :i


	15. Apologies at the Waterfall

Chapter 15

We had split up into three groups. Armin and Mikasa had gone west, Grisha and Carla had gone east, and me and Levi had walked north. Carla had been very determined that we just had to find the waterfall in the middle. There had been three paths to walk, so she had immediately decided that we’d split up. And even though Armin and I had talked everything through, it was still clear that Armin needed space and a time to breathe and be himself, so he had formed a group with Mikasa. Besides he probably had to report everything to Mikasa who had reluctantly been sucked into our drama, as her shoulder had been the one Armin went to cry to when I hadn’t been around, so it made sense this way.

It was Sunday, the weather was great, and it was our very last day together before heading home. The car had been packed with all our stuff, and we even had to be a little criminal and let Armin sit on Mikasa’s lap on the way to the forest. It had been Carla’s only wish to visit this place before we went home, so we had at least a few hours to kill before heading back. 

So now we found ourselves on a seemingly impossible quest to find the infamous waterfall that this forest was so known for having. But it apparently wasn’t as easy to find, as I had hoped for.

We had been walking for what felt like hours (they had only been walking for 50 minutes though) and the air in there was so humid that I had already taken off my sweatshirt and wrapped it around my waist.

“This is taking forever!” I whined like a stubborn child, as I ran my fingers through my hair. There was no wind here, the thick trees made sure of that, so I had to create my own by wailing my hands excessively in front of my face. It didn’t help at all.

“Quit it, brat.” Levi grunted, clearly getting tired by my constant complaints. “Just keep walking,”

“But I caaaaaaan’t!” I sighed, stopping for a moment to take a breather. I rested the palms of my hands on my knees, bending over just a bit. “It’s so … so … _Hot_!”

“Damn it, I know it is! Don’t remind me!” Levi snapped, turning around to face me. He placed both hands on his waist, letting his body weight lean on his right hip. Grabbing the ends of his t-shirt, he started moving it away from his body, then close again, and then as far away as the fabric would let him. He continued to do so, creating a breeze to cool his upper body down. This also allowed me a sneak peek of his toned body, and I quickly found myself jealous of his visible abs, glistening with a thin layer of sweat. 

I tried doing the same thing with my own shirt, but it didn’t create enough wind to satisfy me.

“Ngghh!” I growled in sudden anger, pulling my shirt off in a quick move. “I hate this! The humidity is killing me!” I whined again, as I wrapped my shirt into a little ball. I instantly started to dab the fabric against my neck and chest, in an attempt to remove the sweat. Levi watched me silently from a few meters away, but it was first after some time that I noticed his gaze on me. I looked up to catch his eyes, but as soon as I moved, he had turned his head to look the other way. 

Was it just the high temperature that had made his cheeks red and flustered? I didn’t dare think of the alternative. 

“We should keep moving.” Levi said in a stern voice, as he lifted his hand and pointed towards the path that we had been heading in before. But in the second he did that, a beautiful, blue butterfly came drifting down and placed itself on Levi’s pointing finger. His whole body went stiff, not daring to move, and so did mine.

“Are you … Seeing the same thing I’m seeing?” I whispered, absolutely mesmerized by the little creature’s beauty. 

“Of course I am, you idiot.” Levi snapped at me, though his voice was very low this time. I ignored his insult as I knew it was just the heat that made us more irritated at each other than we actually were. Instead I slowly went over to him, one step at a time. “Brat, stop! You’ll scare it away!” Levi whispered, and I even detected a bit of desperation in his voice. Clearly he wanted to savor the moment for as long as possible. 

“Shush Levi, I won’t,” I just said, getting closer. I ended up standing as close to him as I could, convinced that the chance of it getting scared away would be lower, if it though that we were one person instead of two. 

“It’s so pretty,” I whispered, not even aware of how many boundaries I was crossing by standing so close to him right now, shirtless and sweaty. My attention was only on the little creature in front of me, my eyes locked on its blue wings that seemed like they were almost shining in the few beams of lights that had escaped the trees protection. 

We both stood there quietly for quite some time. None were speaking, as we were both afraid that even the smallest movement would scare it away. But at some point it had to end, and that happened as Levi’s hand started to shake. It lifted itself gracefully from his finger, and as quickly as it had appeared, it was now gone.

“Oh come on, why did you have to – “ My complaining was cut off abruptly as I turned my head towards Levi, only to realize that he was already staring at me. I recognized the panic in his eyes as my gaze met his, and he quickly took a step back. 

“I don’t particularly like butterflies,” He then blurted out, crossing his arms over his chest. He took a deep breath, as if to calm himself, though I wouldn’t know why. 

“What? Why not?” I immediately asked, too surprised to actually realize that he had to be lying – because why would he had held it for so long then? But of course I don’t think that far. Or maybe it was the heat that finally had went to my head and made me too dizzy to think clearly.

“I just don’t … Like insects,” Levi said, trying to shrug it off, as he turned his back to me and started walking again.

“Wait up!” I exclaimed, and I quickly ran up to walk beside him. “Insects, huh?” I said casually, though I clearly had a teasing undertone. Levi sent me a quick death glare, but I had become too used to it to actually let it affect me anymore.

So I kept on teasing. 

“So, like … Bees and flies and beetles? Well then, what about … ” I grinned, as I looked at him with a spark of interest appearing in my eyes. “ … Snails?”

Levi immediately wrinkled his nose and made a sound of disgust. 

“Who the fuck likes snails anyway?” He snorted, crossing his arms and trying to ignore me. I wouldn’t let him get away that easily though, and the snail I had seen on a leaf on the ground had given me an idea. I kneeled to put the leaf in the palm of my open hand, and when I was sure that it was safe and sound in my grasp, I ran towards Levi again. He had gotten pretty far away while I had been gathering the snail. 

“Look what I found!” I exclaimed, jumping in front of him in an attempt to frighten him. He only jumped a little bit, lifting his arms up in a defensive mode, but it wasn’t like I was expecting him to scream girlishly of fear, or anything. 

“What the hell, brat?! Get that thing away from me!” He growled, taking a step back and lifting his arms to cover his face. As if he was afraid of me throwing it at his face. 

“Oh come on, are you afraid of this little guy?” I asked innocently, gently touching the snail’s brown shell as if I was caressing it. “Look how cute he is!” I grinned, as I moved my open hand closer to his face. I could see how his face lost all blood and became pale, as the snail started to slowly move towards him on the leaf, leaving a trail of slime behind it. 

“It’s … It’s … so _disgusting_!” Levi took another step back, which I only followed. “Get it away from me! I’m serious, Eren!”

I paused as I heard him say my name. He never called me by my name, only when it was serious, like when I was upset. I was always just a brat to him, after all … Well, couldn’t I just see this as his punishment for insulting me then? 

“Eren who?” I spoke, trying to sound as cold as I could. I sent him a death glare, lowering my chin to give it the best effect. It clearly worked, because he looked rather surprised by my sudden change of mood.

“Eren as in _you_ ,” Levi said, looking baffled at me. I took a step closer, lifting the snail up and towards him again.

“Oh? I thought I was just a brat to you?” I said, raising an eyebrow as I got closer to him. He took another step back, and another, and anot-

“Ugh!” Levi had his back pressed up against a tree, falling for my trap. I grinned, as I placed a hand on his chest, applying pressure to make sure that he stayed there. “Brat, what are you doing?!”

”Well, as a brat, I clearly don’t know any better, right?” I dared to say. Levi looked like he wanted to puke – he was staring at the slime trail as if it was the worst thing he could possibly imagine. 

“Cut it out, Eren!” He said, turning his head as far away as he could, exposing all of his neck. I couldn’t help but chuckle because of his response.

“Then stop calling me a brat,” I demanded, clearly having the upper hand here. “Or perhaps you would like a … closer relationship with this little guy?”

“Eren! I’ll call you Eren fucking Jaeger, for god’s sake! Does that satisfy you?!” He yelled, the desperation clear in his voice. I felt very satisfied indeed – I took a step back and carefully placed the leaf on the ground again. 

“Yeah. That’s all I wanted,” I grinned, but my smile soon faded as Levi turned his head to catch my gaze. There was murder in his eyes. 

“You think this is funny?” He growled, clenching his fists as he slowly took a step towards me. I took a step back, putting my hands up in the air. 

“Hey, hey now … It was all just fun and games. I wasn’t really going to do it,” I excused myself, laughing nervously. His right eye started twisting, and he reached out to grab me. I dodged him, jumping to the side.

“I’ll kill you,” He grunted, turning around to face me again. I tried laughing it off, asking: “Can’t you see the funny in it?” to which he didn’t answer. Well, not in words, he did however send me a death glare. 

“Um … “ I quickly looked over my shoulder, trying to find an escape route. “Don’t be mad …”

“You think I’m mad? Oh no, what gave it away?” Levi sent me a bitter smirk, as he cracked his knuckles. I took that as my que to get out of there, turning around on my heel and started running. 

“When I get my hands on you –“ I didn’t hear the rest of it, as I sprinted down the path as fast as I possibly could. I usually thought that I could outrun anyone, but I’d seen Levi’s body. If anyone had the speed to do it, it would be him – even if he had shorter legs than mine. 

I sprinted for a long time before I started running out of breath. In fear of getting caught, I looked behind me, only to see Levi running right behind me, about 10 metres away. 

“No! No, no, no!” I exclaimed, forcing to pick up speed. When would this guy get tired?! 

“Yes!” Levi yelled after me as an answer, though I thought I could detect a chuckle in his voice. 

Was it because he found this situation funny? Or because he knew that he was going to catch me soon? I never really knew with Levi. He was clearly still soaked in mystery when it came to his personality.

Without knowing it, I had slowed down, and with that came my defeat. I had followed the path that had been straight forward all this time, but now it was suddenly it was suddenly going downwards, and as my attention had been in my thoughts, I didn’t notice in time. Instead I ended up stumbling, losing my footing, and falling all over myself. I rolled the rest of the way down (it wasn’t far, luckily – and landed in what seemed like a meadow. I was lying face down into the tall grass, clearly not on the path anymore.

“Ha! Got you!” Levi grinned victoriously, and I felt as he grabbed my shoulder and pulled my onto my back. He sat down onto my stomach, grabbing my arms and forcing them under his knees. I was now unable to move, completely in Levi’s grasp.

“Don’t! Let me go!” I instantly whined, afraid of what he’d do. If I would go as far as threaten him with snails, he was the time of person to actually go through with it – something I never had the guts to do.

“Let you go?” Levi said, sticking out his bottom lip as if he was pouting. “But the fun hasn’t even started yet … Ereeeeeen,” He purred my name, as he leaned over me to get closer to my face. His voice sounding like that, his face so close to mine, and our position right now was more than enough to get me blushing.

“Wh-What are you … G-Going to do?” I stammered, sounding very nervous and aware of myself. 

Levi just sent me a smirk, as he placed his hands on the grass beside my head, so that he could hold himself up.

“I think you’re too full of yourself. You need to be disciplined,” He got even closer, his eyes sparkling dangerously. “Starting with your mouth …”

Was he going to kiss me?! I opened my mouth to protest, but it was immediately filled with something else. 

It was bitter, thick, and I immediately started coughing.

Grass?

I tried blowing it out of my mouth, but Levi kept ripping more up and letting it fall onto my face. He laughed, as he started rubbing it all over my face. 

“E-Enough!” I gasped for air, trying to turn my head to both sides in quick moves. Most of the grass flew off me easily, to my big relief. 

But Levi wasn’t done. 

“What’s the magic word?” He asked me, as if I was a kid in kindergarten. 

“PLEASE! Please, Levi, please!” I panted, closing my eyes shut. I was afraid of any grass getting into my eyes if I didn’t. 

I could hear Levi chuckling lowly above me. He had stopped with the grass, so I allowed myself to squint open one eye to look at him. 

“Aaaaaand?” He said, clearly waiting for more.

“And, um …” I rummaged my mind for whatever he wanted to hear. “… I’m …. Sorry?”

“Good boy,” Levi laughed.

He didn’t let go, though. 

”Um …” I opened both eyes, looking up at him, waiting for something to happen. “Are you going to let me go?”

“Do you really think – ” He raised an eyebrow at me, one corner of his mouth slowly turning upwards. “ – That I would let you go so easily?”

And then his hands where everywhere on my body, tickling every imaginable spot where I could sensitive. My waist, armpits, neck, arms and stomach. I screamed and laughed until tears formed in my eyes. 

“Levi, stop! No, please!” I begged him, as my whole body twisted and twirled beneath him, in a horrible attempt at escaping. “I c-can’t! Stop, please, Leeeeeeeeevi –“ I couldn’t stop laughing, and it was first when the tears started streaming down my cheeks that he finally gave in to my pleading and begging.

We both stayed still for several seconds after, both trying to catch our breaths. When our eyes met again though, the laughter continued.

* * * * * 

“Oh come on, don’t sulk,” Levi rolled his eyes at me, which I ignored.

“I still have the taste of grass in my mouth. As long as I taste grass, I’m going to sulk,”

“Is that your logic?” Levi snorted, before grabbing my hand. “Don’t be a baby, Eren.”

To that, I didn’t answer. I just pulled my hand away and grunted at him. We kept walking in silence for a bit, before Levi tried again. 

“Eeeeeeeereeeeeen …” He playfully said my name. ”Eren, Eren, Eren!”

He kept saying it several times, before I finally snapped, stopping and turning around to face him.

“What?!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest.

In reality I wasn’t even mad, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. He deserved trying to make it up to me – I had been forced to eat grass after all.

“Isn’t that what you wanted, Eren? Me saying your name?” He tilted his head, before leaning forward and purring “Eren,” again.

I blushed a little bit, but made sure to turn around before he would notice. 

“Doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, making sure to sound hurt. 

To that, Levi sighed. 

“Oh come on! You didn’t want me to call you brat because you didn’t act like a brat anymore. But how would you describe your behavior right now?”

I stopped up, realizing that he of course was right. I was just teasing him for no reason.

“Fine!” I turned around on my head, a big smile planted on my face. “You’re forgiven!” I grinned, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

“Ugh –“ Levi puffed, before pushing me away. Okay, so he wasn’t big on hugs. I should probably remember that.

“Actually there’s nothing to forgive, since I –“ – “Shush!” I quickly interrupted him, before he could get any further. “I forgave you, so let’s forget about it now, okay?”

Levi rolled his eyes at me, but he didn’t say anymore, so I chose to see that as him giving up on the matter.  
I turned my head back again, to get my eyes on the road, only to discover that the road wasn’t there anymore. We had been walking through the meadow for some time, only to discover that it wasn’t actually a meadow. It was just the beginning of a very large area that contained none other than what we had been looking for all along – the waterfall.

I instantly started cheering, grabbing Levi’s wrist and started to run towards it.

“We’re here! We’re finally here! We found it!” I exclaimed loudly, celebrating the fact that I wouldn’t be sweaty and disgusting any more. 

“Slow down Eren, or we’ll –“ Levi’s warning was too late though – We were steering with full speed right ahead and into the big lake that had been created by the waterfall. Without even slowing down, I loosened my sweater around my waist so it fell to the ground behind me. The ground beneath our feet turned to liquid, and the next then I knew, I was under water. 

When I got above the surface, the first thing I realized, was that I was alone. 

“Levi?” I looked around questioningly, but there was no time for worry. His head popped up only seconds after, with an angry expression on his face. 

“I could have had my phone on me! Or a watch! Do you realize how reckless that just was?” He started yelling, while trying to stay afloat. 

“Oh, calm down. We’re on vacation, right? Besides, mom took our phones away before we go inside the forest, so I knew that you had nothing of value on you,” I defended myself – with a big grin on my face as I spoke, of course. When he rolled his eyes though, I felt like I had to take different countermeasures to get him to cheer up. I started splashing water at him, and at first he wasn’t into it at all – but at one point it just seemed like he gave in to it, and started attacking me with water as well. 

“I’ll get you!” He warned me as he started swimming towards me. I immediately squealed of fear and excitement, and started swimming the other way.

“You’ll never catch me!” I chuckled, before coughing mildly as some water got into my mouth. It seemed like I was only distracted for 2 seconds, but that was all it took for Levi to reach me. We were so close to the grass, that I could actually reach the ground beneath me. Levi’s arms wrapped around me from behind, and as a defense mechanism inside my body, I instantly started fighting back. 

“No! Let go!” I whined, as I started dragging him with me through the water. He was shorter than I was, so I was the one who could reach the earth beneath us faster, and therefore I had more strength than him at the moment. But when the water could reach my hips, Levi slowly got his advantage back, and tackled me into the water. I rolled over and landed on my back, where I immediately felt the sand move its way into my shirt and pants. 

“No, no, no!” I gasped, trying to fight him off me, but he had already sat down on me, straddling me so that I had no way of moving. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” He answered back, as he grabbed my wrists and pushed them into the sand. A mild wave rushed in over me, and I had to stretch my neck as far as I could to avoid getting my face underwater. 

“I’m sorry! I apologize, so let me go!” I cried out desperately, to which Levi only smiled. 

“Why? I thought you _wanted_ to get into the water?” He said with a childish, innocent voice, as he fluttered his eyelashes at me. I growled in response, as another wave made its way towards me. 

“Well, I don’t want to drown!” 

“And I didn’t want to get wet. Yet here I am, absolutely soaked,”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“I’m just trying to do something fun with you,” I admitted to him, but I didn’t sound as serious as I had wanted to, so Levi didn’t understand my intentions properly. 

“Well, this is _my kind of fun_ ,” He just answered.

“No, you don’t get it,” I coughed, as I tried focusing on stretching my neck and look deep into his eyes. “I just wanted to make a good memory with you, just for once!”

My wrists were released immediately, and as I was busy trying to get up into a sitting position, Levi still stared at me. His look was filled with astonishment, and I could see that he was a little shocked over my words. 

“You wanted to … Make a memory … With me?” He asked, as if he just couldn’t completely get it into his head. 

“A fun one, yeah,” I murmured, placing my hands behind me so that I could lean up against my arms and they could hold me up. Levi was still sitting on top of me after all. “We’ve had such a crappy childhood together, so I thought that since we’ve made up with each other, I wanted to be able to … You know-” I could feel how my cheeks became redder, and the knot in my stomach was making me nervous all of the sudden. “- be able to have memories with you that I can remember in the future, and actually be happy about,”

It seemed like Levi needed a moment or two to process everything I had said, so as I waited, I started excessively biting my bottom lip. Why was I suddenly feeling so insecure?

“That … That is so … So … “ He stared at me for several seconds, before finally finding the right word. “ … Cute,” 

“What? No! Shut up!” I immediately whined, going into defense mode again though it was pretty clear that I was just too embarrassed to face him like this. I pushed him off me and got to my feet. I started walking with long, quick steps towards the beach. 

“Oh, come on!” Levi was laughing behind me. It didn’t take long for him to catch up with me, but at that time, I had already sat down. A huge rock was behind me, so there was enough space for Levi to sit down beside me as well. 

“Don’t be such a baby,” Levi said, as he poked me in the stomach. I turned my head stubbornly, focusing like crazy on not to laugh or smile. 

“I’m not a baby!”

Levi didn’t answer that, probably because he knew that a discussion like that could go on forever like that.

Instead he took off his shirt and leaned back, placing his hands behind his head. I couldn’t help but look at him from the corner of my eye, of course not wanting him to get the satisfaction of knowing that I was staring at his toned chest. 

Even though I wasn’t in a mood to compare the two of us, I was suddenly very much aware of the fact that my shirt was completely soaked and how it made it very uncomfortable for me every time I moved. So I pulled it over my head as well, threw it to the side, and leaned back as well. I folded my hands over my stomach, just enjoying the silence and the sun that had found a loophole – there were no trees to cover for it here at the waterfall. That resulted in a beautiful setting that was right before Levi and I. The sunlight was making everything looking almost magical, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw it.

“Eren?”

“Mmmh?”

Levi lowered his arms, and turned towards me, suddenly looking serious. I furrowed my eyebrows, as I couldn’t help but feel a little worried.

“Do you seriously only have bad memories when you think of me?”

There was something in his eyes – something that made me feel incredibly guilty and sad at the same time – hurt. He was hurt.

“N-No! Well yes, I mean, but … Not anymore! I swear,”

He didn’t seem convinced, as he sat there with a raised eyebrow. I sighed.

“Okay, so I might have hated you when I heard that you were going to live with us. And that was because of everything that happened when we were little … But I won’t hold a grudge against you anymore. You’ve definitely changed,” I wasn’t sure if that was enough to convince him that I was telling the truth. “The person that you’ve become … I like him much more than the person you were back then,”

“Oh,” 

Levi turned away from me again, and began staring over the water.

“Oh?”

He shrugged, which made me rather disappointed. Hadn’t he been touched by what I had said at all? After all, that wasn’t something that I could just say whenever. It actually meant something, and then I wasn’t even going to get a proper answer?

“Nothing. I’m glad that you don’t hate me anymore. I guess … I guess I just really regret everything that happened back then. I feel so bad that I did those things to you,” Levi pulled his legs up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. He leaned his chin on his knees, and then breathed out with a sigh. “You didn’t deserve the way that I treated you,”

I bit down hard on my bottom lip, just to stop myself from crying. It would be an understatement to say that I was touched by his words. 

“That means a lot. I’m glad that you acknowledge that what you did was wrong … And at least now I know that I didn’t just imagine it all. It all happened … I didn’t make it all up,”

Levi turned his head so that his cheek now was resting on his arm, so that he could look at me as well. He sent me a little smile, as if to reassure me. 

We didn’t speak for several minutes after all. The next time someone opened their mouth again, it was Levi.

“So … You’re sure that you don’t have any good memories of me from our childhood together?”

I just nodded. 

“Yeah. None what so ever,”

I was too busy enjoying the sight before me to actually notice Levi whispering something under his breath.

_“… I guess he was too young back then to remember it now …”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, what might Levi be talking about? :ooooooo  
> I'M SO EXCITED TO READ YOUR REVIEWS/COMMENTS AND HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND SOMDFALFMDSKNFA
> 
> I'm SO sorry that it has taken me so horribly long to update this story. But hey, at least I haven't left it! I'm just ... Slow ... Haha.
> 
> I liked writing the end. I've had a similar situation where I was exposed to bullying, even traumatizing events like near death experiences, all caused by my own brother (he is diagnosed though) and last year I sat down with a him and a psychologist were he admitted everything he did to me. It just felt like a huge relief to be told by your former 'bully' that you didn't do anything wrong - it was all their fault. And that you're not crazy - Because like Eren, I sometimes started to doubt myself that any of it had ever happened, because no one would believe me when I told them about my brother, because it's just such a bizarre scenario.
> 
> So as you might have guessed, this part of the story is heavily influenced by real life experiences. (just the bullying though, not everything else, haha) and no, I'm not looking for sympathy comments or anything, I just wanted to share it with you so that you could understand the story better.
> 
> Oh well, sorry for the long rant ... If you're still here, then I just want to thank you for sticking with this story, even though I'm so bad at updating! Stay awesome minnasan ~


	16. You're The One That I Want

Chapter 16  
The drive back home had been free of problems, especially since we had all been so tired after walking all day. We had fallen asleep only 20 minutes into the car ride, and had to be woken up when the car was safely standing in our driveway.

And now, the day after, we were going to school, and everything was normal again. Well … Except for the fact that no one had gotten the memo that Levi and I wasn’t fighting anymore. So it came as quite the shock when we had been walking through the hallways, talking and laughing like nothing had happened. 

And that how I had ended up being in some kind of cross-questioning at lunch. 

“See you at home Jaeger,” Levi said, giving my shoulder a light bump with his fist, before walking towards the trash bin to throw his trash out.

“See you at home Jaeger,” Jean said in a deep, bitter voice, clearly impersonating Levi’s voice.

“What the actual fuck, Horseface?” I turned to face him, instantly going into a defensive position.

“That’s what I want to ask you, Suicidal Bastard. We all thought you hated that guy. Three days later, and you’re all lovey-dovey?”

“We are not lovey-dovey!” I whined immediately, shocked that he would go to such a conclusion. “We just talked things over, that’s it.”

“Yeah right,” Ymir answered with her very characteristic eye-roll. I sighed at the way my friends were acting.

“Cut it out. Isn’t this supposed to be a good thing?”

“Having double standards isn’t a good thing,” Reiner joined in, trying to sound so damn smart. Instead of answering him, I turned to Mikasa for help, with pleading deery eyes. She just shrugged, before eating another potato chip.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who turned them against him in the first place,”

I threw my arms up in the air, showing that I was giving up. 

“New subject, please.” I said instead, as I turned my attention towards my food. 

“So, where is Armin?” Jean immediately asked instead, and my reaction … Wasn’t quite that subtle. I ended up choking on the bite I had just taken. Mikasa turned to my side, slapping my back until I could breathe properly again.

“Eren, jesus! What is wrong with you?” 

I just shook my head, still not quite able to speak yet. I couldn’t be more grateful for my sister, when she spoke up for me instead.

“Eren and Armin broke up this weekend.”

The chorus of pitying sounds and sad eyes were still stuck in my memory, as I went through the halls during my free period. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with this free time of mine, I just knew that I had to distract myself from the thought of having to be reminded by my friends how sad it was that we weren’t together anymore, and how cute we had been together. And worse of all was the questions. Those damn questions, I was almost going insane over how obsessive my friends had gotten over wanting to know what the reason had been for breaking up. I wasn’t going to tell them, I was damn sure about that, but what about Armin? We hadn’t really had any time to discuss how we were going to tackle these kinds of situations. Maybe he didn’t even know how I felt about talking so openly about it. 

What if he was going to share everything?

The mere thought terrified me so much that I almost dropped my phone as I fumbled with it. 

“Shit,” I murmured, as I held onto it tightly. I unlocked it, and immediately went to my notes. I had written Armin’s school schedule down a long time ago, because that way I always knew where he was so that we could hang out.

Now … I could use it to find him, so we could discuss how not to talk about our former relationship.

Great. This was my life now.

“He has a free period… Alright, that has to mean he’s in… B21. The auditorium. Okay.” I said out loud, as if that’s what I needed to confirm it. And then I started running down the hall, as if I was the protagonist in a movie where I only had a minute to make it, or something would get blown up. Well, that sure was how it felt. 

“Armin!” I breathed out, as I bursted into the room, of course not realising that this was actually a class that people was attending.

Well, not really a class, it was the school musical production, but still … There was a teacher involved.

“Nice to see you too, Jaeger.” Miss Jackson said, clearly being sarcastic, and I immediately bowed my head in respect.

“I’m so sorry for interrupting, Miss Jackson.” I said, loud and clear, so that she would be able to hear me. She was an older lady, after all. 

“That’s fine dear. You can stay if you want, but – “ She held up her finger in the air, conveying that she had one condition. “- Only if you help out,”

I looked around the auditorium. People were sitting on the stage, painting the background props, and others had tables they were sitting at, sewing clothes. Armin was one of those people. I rolled my eyes, as that didn’t come as a surprise. The guy was willing to help out anyone, even if it meant sewing feathers on hats and put glitter on skirts. 

“Of course, Miss Jackson.” I said, sending her a convincing smile, before walking past all the seats. 

“Hey, Armin!” I said again as I got to the stage. I lifted myself up with my arms, as it was as high as my waist. 

“Eren … ?” Armin looked at me hesitantly, obviously confused as to why I was even here in the first place. 

I grabbed a chair from further down the table, and pulled it over so that I could sit right in front of him. 

“Hey,” I said again, taking a deep breath to control my breathing. I had only run down some stairs and two hallways, but it had surely felt like a marathon.

“Hey.” This time his voice was more sharp, as if he wanted to cut to the chase. “What do you want?”

“I just … You know, just wanted to talk,” I murmured with a shrug, not really sure how to start this kind of situation.

“Um … Okay,” Armin shifted position in his chair, and it was pretty clear to me that he was feeling uncomfortable.

And as the idiotic blabbermouth that I was, I of course couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it.

“Am I really that horrible to be around?” I asked him, trying the best I could to hide the hurt in my voice. Armin’s head immediately popped up, his face showing pity which I automatically responded to with a grimace. 

“No Eren, of course not!” He instantly said, but his voice sounded hollow, like it was lacking something. 

Truth, perhaps?

“Well, I’m sorry that you’re uncomfortable around me. I really am.” I murmured, obviously just ignoring his answer. ”But I still need to talk to you. We need to get to some kind of agreement on how we’ll be tackling this –“

“Oi, Jaeger!” 

I could feel where his whole hand had slapped me on my back, and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from saying anything. Instead, I cursed under my breath. 

“Fuck, Horseface. How is it possible that you always choose to come at the worst possible timing?” I snapped at Jean, who had taken a seat beside Armin. Even going as far as to place an arm around him.

“Gotta protect this little bird from you, since you’ve broken up now. You know, Jaeger, I’ve always said that you weren’t good enough for little blondie here,”

“Shut up Jean,” Armin said, nudging his arm away from his shoulder, but he said it in a playful tone of voice that I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at. 

“We’ve been broken up for three days, and you’re already trying to flirt with him? Don’t you have any respect?” I said loudly, my eyes glued into Jean’s. He seemed to be getting rather uncomfortable, the way that he tried swallowing what I assumed to be a nervous lump in his throat, while also shifting position in his chair. 

“Relax, Jaeger. It’s just fun and games. Don’t you have any humor? Geez,” He got up with an eye roll and walked away without another word, but that was fine with me. I didn’t have any bone to pick with him, and I didn’t want one in the future. And this also meant that I could speak to Armin in peace. 

“So what I was saying was –“

“Who are you to say stuff like that?” 

Interrupted again. Jesus Christ, give me the strength not to break the table right here and now. 

“Excuse me?”

“Being mad at Jean for not having any respect for relationships? And who are you to talk, if I might ask?” Armin crossed his arms, and looked at me with judgemental eyes. I sighed, and rubbed the one side of my temples. 

“Armin … I don’t have the strength to get into an argument with you about that.” How many times did I have to apologize? “I just wanted to know if you were okay with not telling people the reason why we broke up?”

Armin snorted. He actually snorted. 

”Excuse me?” 

Armin placed a hand on his stomach, as he started to laugh. I just sat there, looking astonished at him, until he had finished. 

“I can’t believe you,” He shook his head, while still giggling mildly. “You are such a hypocrite, Eren.”

I froze for a moment, as I just stared into his eyes, wondering what the hell he meant. 

“You’re … Still mad.” I then stated, after a long time of just looking into each other’s eyes. 

“That’s correct.”

“I thought we had worked it out? That we were friends again?”

“Well, you caught me at a weak moment. I’ve had time to think about it now, so I guess you could say that I got my sanity back.”

Auch.

“So … We’re not friends anymore?”

“I’ll rather call it, you know, ‘taking a breather’.” Armin shrugged, looking down at what he was sewing. I furrowed my brows at him, my hands shaking lightly. 

“And how long will this… ‘Breather’ take?” I asked, looking down as well with sorrowful eyes. I felt genuinely sad that I wasn’t going to get my best friend back. 

Not that it was something I had expected, rather I had just hoped for it. A small light of hope, but it was there… And now Armin was stomping on it, as if to kill the last sparkles of our fire. 

“Eren, you know I can’t answer that honestly.” Armin said, shaking his head slowly, still not wanting to look at me. 

“Fine,” I said through gritted teeth, standing up so suddenly and with such strength that the stool behind me was pushed to the ground. Not even looking where I was going, I rushed past him, avoiding the prying eyes on me. I needed to get out of here, and it didn’t matter where I ended up. 

A hall … Doorhandle … Was that a plant? 

There was no light here, so I just stumbled ahead, not sure where I was going. I had gone backstage, which should probably be labeled as a mistake, because I had never set foot in here before. Wasn’t there an exit somewhere? There were only few doors, so maybe I should just take a chance and open one of them?

My fingertips slid over another door handle, and with a quick decision I took a tight grip and opened it. What had been revealed was a small room. It was filled with a shabby couch, a person-sized mirror and dress rail filled with shiny, colorful clothes. In the middle of the room there was another person, standing and looking at himself in the mirror.

Of course it just had to be Levi. What were the odds?

And he had heard the door open, of course. Or maybe he could see my reflection in the mirror. Whatever it was, he turned around to lock his eyes with mine, recognizing me in an instant. My eyes didn’t stay on his for long, as I was taking too long staring at his appearance. He was wearing tight cowboy pants that were high-waist, a white t-shirt that showed off his muscular body, and a leather jacket. To complete the look, his hair was pulled back all the way, probably filled with some kind of gel to make it sit tight. 

I opened my mouth to say something, but instead of words, laughter found its way out of my throat and through my lips. 

“Are you – hahahaha – what even – hahaha!” I pressed my hand against my stomach, bending over as the laughter was giving me cramps. Why the hell was he looking like that? Why was he here? Why, of all people, was I seeing Levi, and with such bad timing even? Maybe I wasn’t really laughing because of his outfit, maybe I was actually laughing because I was going mad. I mean, this couldn’t possibly be real. It couldn’t possibly be true that I kept having so much trouble and drama with Armin, and then right after run into Levi, as if someone was trying to tell me something. Either they were trying to tell me that Levi was supposed to be Armin’s replacement, or that Levi was the one to be there to support me when I was down … Either way, it was getting weird how Levi was always around. Was he even aware of that himself? And if he was, how did he feel about that? 

Did he see me as pathetic? That I was a burden to him?

B-Burden … ?

“Eren, what is wrong?”

And suddenly, Levi was by my side, kneeling down and holding my face in his hands.

Kneeling? Why was he … I looked down, first now noticing how I had fallen to my knees. When had I …

”Eren,” Levi said again, interrupting my trail of thought. ”What’s going on?” 

I shook my head, reaching up to grab his wrists, since he still was holding my cheeks in his hands, caressing them with his thumbs.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong …” I murmured, looking down to avoid his eyes.

”Then why are you crying?”

“I’m crying?” I looked up into his gaze, holding my breath for a moment. When the hell had I started crying? Hadn’t I been laughing just a minute ago? When had it come to this?

I sniffed, trying to pull myself together, before answering him.

“Armin doesn’t want to even be friends anymore. He hates me.”

Levi was silent for a second. 

”Fuck Armin,”

”What?” My eyes widened, and I opened my mouth to protest even further, but Levi managed to pull me up on my feet again before I could do so.

“You heard me. Fuck him, I said.”

”But… Why?”

”That guy only makes you depressed. Somehow there’s always drama between you, and I can see how destructive it is for you,” As he spoke, he went over to the dress rail, grabbing a pink boa and walking back to me. He placed it around my neck, and then stepped back to admire my look. 

“I think you need a little more fun in your life,”

I removed the last couple of tears from my cheeks, before looking over in the mirror to see myself. Yep, as expected, I looked ridiculous. 

“I look stupid,” I chuckled, standing a little awkwardly and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. Levi stared at me for a second, before sighing and taking a step forward. 

“Oh, come on Eren. You just need to loosen a little up!” He said, sending me a small smile. I felt how his slender fingers grabbed my shoulders tightly, and then he started shaking me. 

“Wh-What a-are y-y-you do-doing!” I asked confused, trying to get a hold of his arms to make him stop. 

“I’m getting all the bad energy out of you,” He answered, his eyes locking themselves with mine. His smile spread and got wider, until he opened his mouth and started laughing. That laughter was like music to my ears, and I was smitten immediately. 

His hands slid over my arms and elbows, shaking them as well. They then got further down, staying at my hips as he shook them also. I grinned, as it actually felt nice to just shake it all off. 

“Feel better?” He asked when he finally stopped, though his fingers still lingered at my hips. Feeling slightly flustered – it was debatable if it was because I had been shaking, or because he wasn’t letting go of me – I just managed to shrug, hiding a smile. I was acting like a shy child, but it wasn’t like I cared or anything. I liked the thought of Levi trying to cheer me up. The thought of him going out of his way to make me happy again, made my stomach turn upside down, as if there was something tickling me inside. 

“Oh?” Levi raised an eyebrow, squinting his eyes as he looked me in the eyes. He could see right through me, I knew that already, but I could still hope, right?

“I’ve got chills,” He said, slowly speaking the words. I looked at him, slightly confused as to why I had to know that. “They’re multiplying,”

“Wha –” 

”And I’m looooooosing control,” He interrupted me, now singing the line instead. It somehow sounded familiar, though I couldn’t quite put a finger on it yet. Levi grabbed my hand, raising it and spinning me around in a circle, before placing a hand on my lower back to hold me up as he pushed me down. I felt like I was falling, the only thing holding me up was Levi’s hand. 

“Cause’ the power … You’re supplying,” He said, his voice now low as he was almost dragging every word out. His lips moved slowly, as he spoke in what I could only assume as the sexiest way possible … And then he was pulling me up again, letting me go and falling to his knees right in front of me. 

“Is electrifying!” He said, his voice reaching a high pitch as his hands slapped his forehead as if he was dying or about to pass out. 

I looked at him, still processing what the hell he was actually doing, as he opened his eyes and looked at me. The left corner of his mouth turned upwards as he waited for something … Wait, no. Was he expecting me to continue? Just the thought of it made me laugh. 

Oh, fuck it. Why not?

“You better shape up,” I sang, leaning down to grab his chin, our eyes locking with each other. “’Cause I need a man-“ I started pulling up in his chin, and he followed obediently, getting up on his feet again. I took a step away from him, shaking my shoulders slightly as I sent him a devious glare. “And my heart is set on yooooou!” I ended the part by pointing at him, as I sent him a grin. He didn’t even wait for it, he just grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him again. I gasped as our bodies met, not prepared for the sudden electricity that came along with it.

“You better shape up, you better understand,” I sang, a little more shy than before, because of our closeness. “To my heart I must be true,” I murmured the last part, placing a hand on my chest. Levi’s eyes were burning through me like fire, but it seemed like he wasn’t going to look away anytime soon. 

“You’re the one that I want …” Levi sang, and then hummed the rest of the melody. “The one that I want … “ His voice faded out, but we kept standing like this, staring at each other as if it was a competition to see who could do it the longest. But there was something in his look … The way he spoke the words … As if he was trying to tell me something. I could feel a lump in my throat appear as I finally understood what it was. 

“Um …” I mumbled, releasing my eyes from his, to look away. He released me in the same instant, though still staring. I could still feel his eyes on me, though now I started to feel slightly uncomfortable. 

“Did I manage to cheer you up?” He asked me with a cheerful smile, which I returned with a shy one. 

“Uh, yeah. I’m definitely not thinking about _that_ anymore,” I murmured, nodding, as I scratched my left cheek that was all flustered.

Yeah, Armin had left my thoughts for sure … Problem was, that Levi now had invaded them, and I wasn’t so sure that those thoughts would be as easy to ignore.


	17. Memories of a Forgotten Past

Chapter 17

_Knock knock._

“Come in!” I yelled out, my eyes still fixating on the screen in front of me. I could hear the door open, expecting to hear my mother’s voice tell me that dinner was ready, but instead there was only silence. Just a few seconds later, and I felt another presence leaning over me, and a sweet smell appearing in my nose. 

“What are you working on?” A deep voice asked me, so low that it could be considered a whisper. I turned around, a blush appearing on my cheeks as I saw how close he was standing to me. He had been leaned over me, his head just inches over my shoulder.

“L-Levi,” I said, furrowing my brows. “Why did you knock? This is your room too, you know.”

“Only temporarily,” He answered with a shrug, as he moved over to sit on the desk, beside my computer. “So what are you doing?”

“Homework. You know, those things that’ll make you smarter and learn stuff. You should try it sometimes,” I said sarcastically, though with a smile on my lips. He laughed, and it came so naturally that I forgot to react properly. My eyebrows flew up, and I stared at him in disbelief, because he had _laughed_ , he had actually genuinely laughed at something that I had said. 

“I don’t need to. I have all the knowledge I need up here,” He answered, pointing at his head with a small chuckle. I rolled my eyes at him, and then looking back at the computer. Of course I couldn’t concentrate, _of course_ I couldn’t, when he was staring at me like that. When he was so close to me. 

And then … Why was that? I remembered the first days when he had moved in, and I had felt uneasy about being in the same room. It was exactly the same feeling, yet at the same time it wasn’t … This wasn’t like feeling like I had a heavy stone in my stomach, this was more like …. Butterflies.

“Want to do something tonight?” 

I had a small shock, jumping a little in my seat as he spoke again.

“Uh … What … Why?” I asked nervously, fiddling a little with the bottom of my shirt.

“It’s Friday night and I want to go out.” He just said, shrugging his shoulders. As if that was an explanation. 

“We’re underage, idiot.” I said, shutting down my computer and leaned back in my seat, looking at him with a frown.

“Oh, don’t be such a goodie boy, Eren.” He said, sending me a flirtatious smile – or at least that was what I thought it to be – as he leaned closer and grabbing my chin. “Don’t you want a little fun?”

My heart fluttered at the sudden closeness, and my defensive mechanism immediately got in motion as I slapped his hand away. 

“I don’t think so.”

“Then it’s settled. You are coming with me.” He said curtly, jumping down from the desk and walking out the door, not giving me time to protest. I was left staring at the door, mouth completely open and eyes widened. 

 

\- - - - - 

 

_Knock, knock._

“Ngghhh …” 

“Are you coming down to eat?” My mother asked, opening the door slightly so she could look inside. 

“No.”

“Why not?” She opened the door a little more, so she could see where I was. I was placed on top of my bed, with the pillow over my head to cover my face.

“I don’t feel well,” I muttered, my voice immediately getting lower. It always did when I was lying to my mom. And she knew it.

“Oh honey,” Carla closed the door behind her, and walked over to my bed, sitting down and stroking my chest with her fingertips. She knew how much I loved her touches when I was down. “What’s wrong with you?”

I slowly moved the pillow a little to reveal the half of my face, just so I could look at her. 

“Hmm…” I just muttered, not really having an answer. 

Carla looked down at me with her calm, soothing smile, that smile that always made me feel warm and loved inside. She reached over to gently push the pillow away, so she could start stroking my hair. 

“Sweetie … If there’s something bothering you, you know you can always talk to me about it,” She said slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers. I nodded slowly, before moving my body a little to the side, so there was more room. She understood my intentions, as she soon after moved to lay down beside me, sneaking in an arm under my head. I moved to lie on my side, placing an arm over her stomach and resting my head on her shoulder.  
We stayed still for a few minutes, Carla stroking my hair, and me keeping me eyes closed and my breathing calm. After that, her hand disappeared from my forehead, and I opened my eyes to see what had changed. She was fumbling with her phone, putting in her code so she could go into her pictures. 

“What are you doing?” I asked curiously, my eyes glued to the screen. 

“I want to show you something,” She just answered. She scrolled upwards before finding it, pressing it so it came up large. I widened my eyes immediately at the sight, my cheeks blushing. 

“Wh-What … When did you take this?” I asked in astonishment. The picture was of Levi and I, sleeping soundly up against each other. We looked so peaceful. 

”Last Friday, when we were driving up to the summer house.” She explained, looking down at me with a smile. “You’re blushing, honey.” She stated, using her other hand to caress one of my red, hot cheeks. My body jumped a little at the touch, before blushing even more. 

“Mom stop, you’re embarrassing me!” I whined, turning my head to bury my face in her shirt. She chuckled lowly, before putting the phone back in her pocket.

“I know you and Levi has had a rocky past … But you have to admit that your relationship has developed for the better,” She said.

I grunted. Why did my mom had to be so wise? It was so annoying when she pointed out all the truths that I didn’t want to hear or see.

“I guess …” I murmured, not really wanting to admit it. “He can just be such a … a … a douchebag sometimes!” I whined, like a little, stubborn child.

“He’s a good, young man. And I’ve seen the difference between you too. So why are you still so reluctant to forgive him?”

“Because I can’t!” I said in frustration, my voice getting a little louder. “I never did anything to him. I never got a reason as to why he did it. I never got to understand.” I explained. ”All those years, and I thought that I was at fault … How is that fair? He made me blame myself. He made me doubt myself. He made me think that something was wrong with me …” My voice trailed off as I had nothing else to say, without just repeating myself. My mother got the gist of it though, because without saying anything, she just released me and stood up. 

“I’ll be right back, honey.” She just said, giving me a kiss on the forehead, before walking out. As the minutes past, my breath became calm again, and when she returned, I was my normal self again. The frustration had long disappeared.

“Sit up,” She said, and I did what I was told. She sat down beside me, revealing a photo album in her hands. 

“I’ve never seen that one before,” I said in astonishment, letting my fingertips slide over it. It was still dusty, I noticed afterwards, as I felt the dust on my fingertips. 

“Because it’s a long time ago since we last put pictures into it …” She answered, as she opened it.

She turned over the pages slowly, giving me enough time to look at them. The first couple of pictures showed only me and Mikasa as babies, rolling around on the floor. I could see how the pictures showed how we got older, and that was when Levi showed up.

“Stop,” I said, placing my hand on hers. “Why is Levi there?” 

She snickered.

“You probably can’t remember. You boys were only about 5 or 6 years old here.”

“Levi started coming to our house already at that?” I said in surprise. The last memory I had of him was when I was 9 years old, so that was 3-4 years of abuse from him apparently.

“Yeah. You guys were inseparable,” She chuckled, looking at the pictures. I could see that she was thinking back at that time, still remembering it clearly. 

“We … We were?” But that didn’t make any sense at all.

“Yeah. You always wanted to hold his hand … You would cry if you weren’t able to. You did everything together,”

Now I sat up, staring at my mother with a frown.

“Stop lying.” I said, my voice now serious. 

“I’m not. You just can’t remember honey,” She said, not affected at all by my sudden mood change. “Look,” She turned over the page and pointed at the next picture. We were dressed up for Halloween. I was in a green dinosaur suit, and Levi was Batman. We were looking into the camera, holding hands. I stared at the picture with widened eyes, not being able to believe what I was seeing. 

“When Levi wanted an apple, you also wanted one. And when your 6 year birthday came along, Levi gave you a teddy bear, that was called … Umm, what was it now …”

“Mr. Teddy?” I said, staring at her with glassy eyes. My head couldn’t take in all this new information, that was going against everything that I had always believed.

“Yes, exactly! He gave you Mr. Teddy, and I clearly remember what he told you … He said that when he wasn’t sleeping with you – and you guys slept with each other a lot – he was afraid that you would be lonely, so now you had someone to keep you company when he wasn’t around,” 

I wasn’t staring at my mom anymore. I wasn’t staring at the pictures anymore. I was staring at nowhere, sobbing silently. I wasn’t sure why though. But the tears were just running over my cheeks, with no end.

“And here, there’s a picture of you two kissing … You were so adorable back then. So innocent and … Eren, what’s wrong?” It was first now that she looked at me, noticing my crying. I just shook my head as an answer. This hadn’t helped at all. 

In fact, I was now more confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saw one of the Sebastian Lind music videos, and in the comment section some of you guys have written and mentioned me! I'm so glad I could show you music that you enjoy!
> 
> So I thought about giving you another music mention, just all the music that I listen to when I write all my The Jealousy chapters, and the songs that gives me inspiration.
> 
> Unknown Mortal Orchestra - So Good at Being in Trouble
> 
> Tell me what you think about this chapter!!! I'm slowly revealing the secrets about Levi and Eren's past together .... I want to see if any of you can figure it out yet. :D   
> Don't be shy! I wanna hear from you guys!


	18. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should probably give you guys some answers. I get the feeling that some of you are frustrated about the slow updates, so I just wanted to explain how things are. I simply can't update that often anymore. There's not many chapters left though, so you won't be waiting for long, but I just want to make sure you guys know that I will definitely finish this story. It may take a day, a week or a month, but I could never leave this discontinued. I wouldn't do that to you guys.
> 
> Just so you know ~ Now, enjoy the very very long chapter, haha!

After dinner, I had gone on a walk to clear my head. But no matter how far I walked, it just seemed like all the thoughts in my head kept going around in circles. I wasn't getting anywhere, and I had no plan for what I was going to do next. The worst part though, was that I had no idea how I felt about Levi. He seemed to be interested in me, but at the same time he somehow felt distant. Like he was hiding something from me – which was obvious to me now, after having that talk with my mom.

Levi and I had been best friends through early childhood, and some day it just drastically changed, and he became vicious around me, beating me and calling me names. That much was clear to me. So I couln't stop wondering what the hell had happened to make that change? Had I done something to deserve him hating me? I had just been a child after all, so I couldn't understand what horrible thing I could have possibly done to him.

But I knew that I had to find out. I needed to confront Levi, and hear his side of the story. That was the only way I could find out for sure how I felt about him. It felt like it was the only missing piece left, before I could realise where I wanted to go with him further on. Clearly we had history, and we needed to sort that out, before taking another step. I refused to let him manipulate and confuse me anymore …. I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.

So what better opportunity could come along, than Levi's own suggestion?

As I realised what I needed to do, I started heading back with long, quick steps. Luckily enough, as I neared the house, I recognised Levi sitting on the porch, seemingly waiting for me.

" … Hey," I murmured as I came closer. My hands where stuck deep inside my pockets, and my face was flushed with a deep red color from the cold. The weather had clearly changed from fall to winter, and I had been stupid not to have taken any more clothes on.

"Hey yourself. What have you been up to?" Levi asked me with a raised eyebrow. He was leaning up against the rail, his legs crossed and dressed in all black, a large scarf covering most of his shoulders, neck and chin.

"When did you turn into my mother?" I asked him with a low chuckle, trying to joke around a little. He didn't laugh as well, he just rolled his eyes at me, yet I could still see the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Whatever. Are you ready to go?"

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow, as I stared at him in confusion, or at least, that was what I pretended to be.

"Go where? What are you talking about?" I asked innocently, tilting my head to the side as I caught his eyes with mine. He stared at me for a second, studying me with small eyes, squinting them as if he was looking right through me. For a second I got nervous, as it seemed like he could sense I was lying. But then he jumped up on his feet, and sent me a smirk.

"I'm talking about going out, brat. Now come on, before your parents' sees us," He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him. I yelped, though I didn't resist as we ran through the streets. There was no sounds other than our heavy breathing and a car driving by in the distance every once in a few minutes.

"F-Fuck Levi, I ca-can't,-" I panted after a good long while, finally feeling a side stitch. I tried pulling my hand away, but as he felt me trying to stop, he did so, turning around to look at me. I bent over slightly, supporting my free hand on my knee, while Levi was still holding tightly onto the other. I tried catching my breath for a minute or two in silence, before feeling well enough to straighten up my back and face Levi. He, on the other side, was looking completely fine, as if he hadn't just run three miles without a break.

"Are you alright?" He asked me with genuine concern in his voice, which I answered with a slow nod.

"Yeah, but why the hell do we have to run? Now I'm all sweaty and disgusting. It's not very attractive to smell like sweat all night long,"

"Oh shut up. You're attractive no matter if you smell or not," He said, sending me a wink that sent shivers through my body. Suddenly his hand was feeling very warm and I was now very aware that we were constantly in touch with each other. "Now come on, I know the perfect place,"

"Do we have to run?"

Levi just shook his head as he chuckled, and we started walking in a slow pace. We weren't walking past just houses anymore, there were a lot of shops and stores now, which told me that we had gotten far into town.

"So where are we going exactly?"

"A bar called Titanium. It's pretty well-known, so there'll be a lot of people." Levi told me with a wink, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Uh … Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah, we don't want to be in a bar with no people at all. That would make us easy targets for suspicion," Levi explained casually, acting like we weren't as close to each other as we were. My heart, on the other hand, was beating rapidly, and I felt my palms getting sweaty. Levi would probably pull away his hand then, wouldn't he? I mean … He hated disgusting things like sweat, so he probably wouldn't like to hold a sweaty hand, right?

"Oh, that makes sense.." I muttered, though I still didn't really understand. I secretly observed him out of the corner of my eye, but he was looking like everything was fine. And … He wasn't pulling away.

"We're here!" Levi exclaimed in excitement, pulling at my hand as he hurried towards the entrance. I accidentally bit my lip in surprise, as I was pulled with him, and suddenly we were inside a dark room, a big change from the cool weather and silence. In there, music was playing loudly, and the air was humid and smelled like booze and cigarettes. The place wasn't as crowded as I had thought though, as we could still move easily towards the bar without bumping into anyone.

"Oi. Two whisky's, please." Levi exclaimed to the bartender, immediately staring him dead cold in the eyes, as serious as he could be. It was a look that told the bartender not to mess with him, and he didn't. It only took a minute before we got our drinks, and then Levi was pulling me away again, and we ventured into the huge mass of people standing in the large room.

"Wh-Where are we … -" I didn't manage to finish my sentence before Levi had found a table in the back, where there weren't so many people. The music wasn't so loud there as well, which made it the perfect spot for having a conversation. Did that mean that I could have a chance of questioning him?

I yelped as he pushed me into the booth, before placing himself at my side, finally letting go of my hand. I wiped my sweaty palms on my thighs, before looking down at the glass of whisky. "It looks like apple juice," I murmured, wrinkling my nose as I was uncertain on if I should drink it or not. As I turned my head to look at Levi, he had just finished pouring his own glass of whisky down the pipe, and I couldn't help my widen my eyes in astonishment.

"Does it taste good?" I asked him, slightly irritated that I had to raise my voice to make sure he could hear me.

"It's fine. Bottom's up!" Levi just said with a shrug, before pushing the glass towards me. I sighed, before raising the glass up to my mouth, pouring it all down in one go, just as Levi had done. However, I immediately started coughing like an idiot, something that Levi hadn't done.

"It tastes horrible!" I yelled, as I placed a hand on my mouth to cover up my coughs. I could see Levi's shoulders move lightly, and a smile had appeared on his face, which told me that he was laughing, even though I couldn't hear it. I couldn't help but notice something about him, though.

He looked cute when he laughed.

"You want more?" Levi asked me, still wearing that sweet smile, though I wasn't going to get convinced just by that.  
"Hell no!" I shook my head. "If this is what it takes to get drunk, then I'll never go out again," I shook my head, laughing lowly.

"So you probably like your liquor a little … Sweeter. I'm not surprised," He chuckled with a playful smile, before getting up again. "I'll be back before you know it!" He got up quickly and left, leaving me by myself. I placed my hands folded in my lap as I looked around, feeling utterly like a stranger in this weird place. I truly felt like I didn't belong here, which wasn't wrong. I was just a high school kid, trying to look like I belonged in a room filled with … I looked around, trying to see if I could guess the people's ages. Everyone looked like they were in their twenties, probably going to college or the university. Clearly, I wasn't supposed to be here.

"Pretty boy!" Someone called out, and at first I didn't notice, but as the voice neared me, I looked up to see that the nickname was meant for me. A girl was walking over, yellow-haired and wearing a black crop top and a high waisted skirt that would expose way too much if she just bent over a little. "Can I sit down?"

Before I could respond, she had already placed herself beside me, putting down her drink on the table. She turned towards me, and it didn't take me long to realise that she was absolutely drunk. Her eyes were hazy and all her movements were slow and fluid, and her breath … Well, let's just say that it didn't smell like roses.

"Um … Hey." I sent her a nervous smile, not sure how to act in a situation like this. She did, apparently, as she had already crossed a leg over the other, leaning close towards me as she placed a hand on my thigh, caressing it slowly with her thumb.

"Hey, pretty boy. I haven't seen you here before," She smiled sweetly at me, and all I could think about, was how cute her dimples looked on her.

"It's my first time," I told her, having to lean closer to her ear to make sure she could hear me.

"Oh, cool!" She exclaimed, before taking a sip of her drink. "What are you drinking?" She asked me, nodding towards the empty glass in front of me.

"Whisky... But it didn't taste good," I told her, finding it easier to just let my head stay closer to hers, so she could hear me better. She laughed at my words, before shaking her head.

"Such a cute guy like you shouldn't be drinking whisky! Here, try this." She handed me her drink, and I took a sip, before widening my eyes.

"Yum!" I exclaimed, before grinning. She laughed as well, before making a hand gesture to let me drink more.

"Just take the rest. There's more where that came from," She snickered, and she really didn't have to say that twice. I drank it greedily, happy that there actaully existed alcohol that I enjoyed. As I placed the now empty glass on the table, her hand had already slid more up my thigh without me noticing.

"So what's your name, pretty boy?" She asked with a playful smile, tilting her head as she looked at me. I shrugged, as my fingertips started to feel all tingly. The sensation spread fast, from my fingers to my whole body, all the way down to my toes.

"E-Eren," I said, before coughing discreetly, not used to this feeling. "What's yours?"

"Everyone calls me Doll," She snickered, before smiling widely. Her look told me that I was allowed to call her that as well, though I didn't really catch onto it. I wasn't really picking up her hints, as I was more focused on the strange feeling in my body.

"Doll? Th-That's a funny-"

"Eren," Someone called my name from behind the girl, and as I looked up, I immediately froze up. Levi was standing there, holding two glasses with a bright orange color, and he wasn't looking very pleased.

"Oh, hey. Levi, this is Doll," I said, sending him a nervous smile. Levi looked at the girl, before his eyes followed her arm length, noticing her hand on my thigh. It was also first now that I realised it as well, and as I looked down at my lap, I blushed deeply. "Doll, this is my friend Levi," I introduced, trying to act normal even though I felt far from it. She clearly wasn't aware of Levi's cold eyes on her, as she just sent him a bright smile.

"Hey!" She giggled, before looking back at me, ignoring his existence once more. Levi clenched his jaw, before making a gesture with his head, nodding it towards the exit, clearly wanting me to go with him.

"Sorry Doll, I have to, um … Pee," I said, leaning towards her ear so she could hear. She looked at me in disappointment, before realising that she had to move to let me out.

"Aww … Will you come back to me?" She asked, biting her lip and looking at me with her large, bright eyes.

"Uh, sure." I sent her a reassuring nod, as with that she stood up once again to let me out. I had only just gotten up as well, before Levi put an arm around me and pulled me outside.

"Well, aren't you popular with the ladies," He said with an annoyed tone of voice, looking at me as he leaned up against the wall. I sighed, looking up at the night sky, enjoying the cold breeze for a second, before looking back at Levi.

"You know I don't care for that kind of stuff," I said, sending him a small smile, before once again noticing the drinks. "Is that for me?"

Levi nodded and handed me one of them, before taking a sip of his own. "Well, you sure as hell aren't very good at showing it then. She had her hands all over you, and I was only gone for a few minutes." Levi continued a moment after, crossing his arms.

"Uh, well..." I paused as I looked at him, suddenly realising why he was acting the way he were. "Excuse me, but are you jealous?" I asked him, giggling like a little girl who had just found out a dirty, little secret. Levi rolled his eyes, but he didn't answer right away. Instead, he looked out into the distance, seemingly thinking about my words. Then he suddenly wasn't just leaning up against the wall anymore, he was standing right in front of me, looking up at me with dark eyes. There was something flashing dangerously in them, though I couldn't really understand what it was.

"And what if I were?"

My heart skipped a beat at those words, and suddenly I was getting sweaty palms again.

"Then.." I wasn't sure what to answer, so I bought myself a few more seconds by drinking more of my drink. All of it, to be exact. "... Then I guess it would be pretty obvious what my sexual preference was," I responded, before snickering. I had been completely calm and relaxed with the girl, but if Levi was to put his hands on me … Well, if I was already blushing and sweaty from just his words, then I didn't want to even imagine what that would be like.

"Can we go? I don't want to stay here, when she's in there, expecting me to come back," I quickly said, wanting to change the topic. "Sure," Levi said with a shrug, though he gave me an extra look, before starting to walk. "Where do you want to go?"

"There's a small pond around here somewhere..." I said, looking around, as if I hoped to be able to see it already. Luckily Levi knew where it was, so it didn't take us long to find it. It was surrounded by trees, so we positioned ourselves in front of one, leaning back against the bark, shoulder against shoulder.

There was awkward silence for a few minutes as we stared out on the pond. I wasn't sure what was going through Levi's head, but mine were swirling with ideas as to how I could sneak in the topic of our shared childhood into a conversation.

"Let's play a game!" I suddenly squeaked out, as I got an idea.

"What kind of game?" Levi asked, furrowing his brows as he looked at me. Clearly he didn't like the idea of playing anything at the moment.

"Truth or dare," I said, smiling widely. "And you HAVE to do it or answer truthfully, whatever it is. Okay?" I looked at him, with slightly pleading eyes, and before I knew it Levi was sighing in defeat.

"... Fine. Truth or dare?"

I grinned as I asnwered to the first, looking at him expectantly. Levi was chewing his bottom lip as he thought it through, clearly unsure what to ask.

"So, um … Did you really love Armin?"

I was taken aback by that question, even though I shouldn't have been surprised. This game was all about exploiting, so why not ask something that he couldn't ask me casually otherwise? It was the exact same thing I was planning as well, after all.

"Well … That's not really something that you can put in past tense. I still love him, I just … Don't love him the traditional way."

"Traditional way?"

"Yeah, you know … The way that you are supposed to feel about your better half. I didn't love him as if he was my lover, I loved him in a very, um, platonic way …" I mumbled, scratching my arm reluctantly as I looked at him. I had gotten better at talking about the whole situation, but that didn't mean that I enjoyed putting words on my feelings about Armin. It made it sound like I had lied to him the entire time, when that wasn't true. I hadn't been aware about my feelings the most of the time I had been with him after all, so I hated that it sounded like I was the bad guy.

"Oh. So have you ever experienced love in a … Non-platonic way?" Levi ventured to ask, raising his eyebrow as he looked at me with curious eyes. I felt my cheeks blush, and I quickly looked away, not wanting to answer.

How could I even begin to answer that question?

"You can only ask one question," I hurried to say, before clearing my throat and pulling myself together. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Levi said immediately, and I immediately pouted, annoyed that he hadn't chosen truth. How could I get him to answer my questions, when he chose something that had nothing to do with questions? Ugh.

"Hmm... Are we doing three dares where you can just pick one, or just one dare that you have to do?" I asked, not sure if I could come up with three different dares.

"We can just do the one dare. That's more fun, isn't it?" Levi answered, his eyes sparkling with something unknown, something mysterious and cunningly, as if he already had something in mind.

"Okay, hmm …" I didn't really have to think very long for that one. "Find a sow bug, and eat it." I grinned, smiling widely at him. I found it very entertaining to see the blood disappear from his face, as he looked at me with widened eyes. He opened his mouth, probably to protest, but I was already ahead of him.  
"I'm just kidding. That's too gross. Just, um, go over to the water, and smear mud over your face." I knew very well that he hated getting dirty, so this was a pretty good way to get him to loosen up a little about his obssesive cleanliness.

He pouted, yet he did as I said, as he knew that the alternative was way worse. He came back with two stripes of mud over each cheek, looking like a soldier that was painted his face to hide better in the wilderness. I chuckled at the sight as he sat down again, still looking a little irritated.

"This feels disgusting, Eren."

"Too bad. Your turn,"

"I'll make you pay for this later," He threatened me, but I could see that he wasn't serious by the way the corners of his mouth kept trying to turn upwards. Well, I wouldn't be too sure though, so I decided to play it safe.

"I pick truth,"

"Again?" Levi rolled his eyes. "You're no fun, Jaeger."

"And you have mud on your face. I think I just became the funniest man on earth," I grinned, smiling widely as I watched him trying to come up with a question. Apparenly he didn't have to think for very long, as it turned out to be the question he had asked before.

"Have you ever been in love, then? With someone who wasn't Armin?"

"I-In love?" I hesitated, my mind spinning as I wasn't even sure what love really was.

"Well, not necessarily in love. Just … Have you ever had feelings for someone? The feeling like you're about to burst with happiness every time you see them, or your stomach is aching when they aren't around … Someone you can't stop thinking about, and it makes you feel confused, but also happy and –"

"Yes," I said with a soft voice, interrupting him. I didn't need him to say any more, as I could relate to every single word he was saying. Levi looked at me with pure interest in his eyes and with a twist of something dark, looking like he had just got the one million dollar answer that he had been waiting for.

"Oh …" He hummed, tilting his head as he locked his eyes with mine, forcing me to keep staring into his. "So … Who is it?"

I could feel my face burn, and I suddenly just wanted to run. Far, far away. But I couldn't, it was like his eyes had frozen me in place, unable to move.

"You can't ask anymore questions …" I whispered, feeling the lump in my throat harden. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Levi said in a low voice, still looking with me with his intense eyes, making me feel very uncomfortable … But not necessarily in a bad way. I took a deep breath, knowing that this was my chance.

"What happened to you when we were kids?"

Levi's whole attitude changed drastically, as he leaned back, and broke our eye contact.

"I don't understand what you mean." He said, his voice suddenly cold and distant. My heart dropped, as I realised that this would be much more difficult than first expected.

"My mom explained everything to me. I couldn't remember at first, but she showed me pictures … Pictures of you and me. We were best friends, we did everything together, I … I loved you. Back then, I mean. And you loved me too, but … One day, you just changed. And you broke our friendship … Everything could have been different now, if you hadn't, so I just want to know what the hell really happened back then? Clearly, something happened. And I want to know what." I exhaled deeply as I finished, absolutely relieved that I had finally got it off my chest. I had finally told him what I had been so worried about.

"I … I …." Levi mumbled, as if the words were reluctant to get out. In the end, he just coughed before shaking his head. "... I don't know what you're talking about." I felt my heart beat faster, as I was aggravated by his words. What the hell? I had finally opened up, explaining to him what had been troubling me, and now he tried to deny what had happened?

"All you have to do is to tell me the truth … I want to fix this, I want to repair th-this …. This weird thing between us. But I don't think we can be friends, if you refuse giving me some closure!" I exclaimed, surprising myself by my raised voice.

"Well, what if I don't want to be your friend?!" Levi exclaimed as well, crossing his arms stubbornly, as he glared at me. For the second time now, I felt my heart drop. I opened my mouth to answer with just as cruel a comment, but I changed my mind in the last minute. I had come this far, so I couldn't back down now … No matter how bad the answer was. And clearly it wasn't going in the direction I had hoped.

"Just answer the question,"

Levi's eyes looked as if they were on fire, though I could sense some uncertaincy in them as well.

"Fine. You want to know what happened to me when we were kids? Life happened. Surprise, surprise."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows, my voice now as low as a whisper. I was fully concentrated on him, not wanting to miss even a word.

"Let's just say that my father wasn't a very … Understanding man. He was conservative, and not very open to the thought of me being … Different." Levi massaged his temples, closing his eyes and bending his head down with a sigh, as a sign of defeat.

I had gotten the answer I needed, so … why wasn't I happy? Well, truthfully, I already knew the answer to that. Because his answer only gave me new questions, that hungered for him to explain properly.

"Why? What happened? What did your dad do?"

"One question only, right?" Levi looked up with a small smile, as he looked at me. But his eyes looked tired, as if it had sucked out all his energy to just talk about it.

"Oh... Yeah. Sorry,"

"So. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," I shrugged, not really thinking about my answer … Until his question.

"Who?"

"Who what?"

"Who have you had those feelings for?"

I widened my eyes, as I had completely forgotten about our previous conversation, before the touchy subject had been brought up.

"I-I … No, I was wrong, I choose dare instead!" I quickly said, biting hard down on my bottom lip in embarrasment. There was no way I would answer that question. And definitely not in front of him.

"What?" Levi furrowed his brows, before growling; "You can't do that. Answer the question,"

"No way. The rules say that you can't choose truth or dare three times in a row!" I quickly retorted, crossing my arms stubbornly. Of course that was just something I had made up just now, but Levi didn't know that.

He grunted in annoyance, rolling his eyes, but it seemed like he was going to let it go. "Fine, brat. If you choose dare, then..."

He leaned in close, a little too close for comfort, and I could feel my heart beat faster at suddenly seeing his face so close to mine.

"... Kiss me."

My heart stopped beating for several seconds.

"WHAT?!" I screeched, my eyes widening in shock.

"You heard me." Levi said calmly, before sending me a teasing smile. "I got mud on my face, just as you dared me to do. Now you have to do the dare as well."

I shook my head wildly, my face burning up in embarassment. "N-No …" I kept protesting.

Levi pouted, looking at me with a hurt look. "I am quite hurt by that. Am I really that unattractive? He said, staring at me. I kept shaking my head, before exhaling loudly.  
"You know that it's not that …" I murmured, looking down. I couldn't stand his eyes on me, it felt like he could see right through me. He didn't answer me, and with no more words spoken between us, we just sat in silence. Me, staring into the ground with a rapid heart beat and red cheeks, while Levi was leaning towards me, his eyes boring into my head.

After a minute, I had gotten enough of it.

"I don't want to play anymore," I stumbled over my words, as I quickly got on my feet, ready to walk away. Levi managed to grab my arm, his reflexes apparently faster than mine.  
"I'm not letting you get out so easily. You were the one who wanted to start this, so now finish it," He said, his voice and attitude still so calm. I turned around to face him again, my arm burning up where he was touching me, sending shivers through my spine.

No. He shouldn't touch me right now. I couldn't handle it.

I tried pulling away from him, but his grip on me was tight, refusing to let me go.

"If you kiss me, I'll explain everything about our childh – Nghh!" My lips shut him up as I kissed him, surprising both him and myself. I had just reacted on instinct, maybe because of his promise to reveal everything to me, or maybe it was because I couldn't hold myself back anymore. No matter the reason, I had thrown myself towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist to pull him close, as my lips ravished his. He kissed back with just as much enthusiasm, his arms slowly lifting themselves up to wrap them around my neck, making us stand closer than ever. My hands were still shaking in nervousness, every inch of my body uncertain, all expect my lips. They seemed to move on their own, knowing what to do, even when I didn't.

When I finally realised what the hell we were actually doing, I pulled away, our lips breaking apart in a loud pop.

"That was …" I panted heavily, not sure how to end that sentence. Luckily, Levi seemingly always knew the perfect word.

"Wonderful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts on the chapter! I would honestly love to hear them. And if you have questions, I will answer them. BTW: If you ever need some help, guidance, good advice, someone to talk to, or if you just have questions about my fanfics, then you are welcome to write to my e-mail = ererilove@hotmail.com - I will answer every single one that you guys send me, so just know that you can always contact me personally, if there's anything you want or need. <3
> 
> Now, remember a few chapters back, where I made you check out some Sebastian Lind music? Wellllllll...... I've got some more music that I've been listening to, while writing this chapter, so if you want some new, good music to listen to, you can check these out:
> 
> Sense by Tom Odell. This song is so beautiful, I (almost) cried the first time I heard it. = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vViTMfQo2o
> 
> So Good At Being In Trouble by Unknown Mortal Orchestra. This is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES! I never get tired of it, and I've heard it over 200 times by now. This is one of the band's only good songs, sadly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PERf5un2nC0
> 
> Taro by alt-J. This is really chill. Something that I could listen to for hours, ahh. = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fTw_D3l10
> 
> I hope you guys are well. I'll look forward to your awesome comments, sweet compliments and constructive criticism <3


	19. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title pretty much explains it all.

"No, please, don't cry." I whined, as I stared at him while tears slid down his puffy, red cheeks.

"Please cheer up, Eren!" I exclaimed desperately, but there was nothing to do. The lollipop was already covered in dirt, so it couldn't be saved. I slowly raised my hand to stare at my own lollipop, a red one with the taste of strawberries, my favourite. I let out a sigh, as I walked over to him and handed it to him.

"H-Here.. Take mine. Just don't be sad," I whispered, as I crouched in front of him. He looked up at me, the crying immediately stopping as his eyes focused on the lollipop. As the greedy little shit he was, he quickly stuffed it into his mouth, sucking on it with no stopping. Of course, that wasn't how I was thinking at the time. I was just happy to see that he had become happy again. And I had been the result of that.

"D-Dank you.." He tried saying, the words getting a little muffled by the lollipop. But I took what I could get, as we both leaned towards each other so we could hug it out. His small arms almost couldn't wrap themselves around me, even though I wasn't much bigger than him, but he did his best anyway. I let out a whine of disappointment as he pulled away so he could focus on his sugary treat again. It was so typical of toddlers to act like that, so I didn't let it get to me. I was only six years old after all, so I guess I had been just like that, not too long ago. I got up, my heart feeling all warm and fluttery, as I looked at Eren.

"I have to go now, Eren. Daddy's waiting for me."

Erens immediately shot up, as he reached out to grab the end of my sleeve.

"No! W-Wevi, pwease don't g-go!"

I shook my head, as I looked down at his big, emerald green eyes. He was so cute.

"I have to, or he'll get mad again..." I muttered with eyes that slowly turned sad – but Eren was having none of that attitude of mine.

"Stay with me! I wove you!"

I felt my cheeks burn up, as I quickly left a kiss on his forehead that immediately made him giggle.

Cute.

"Okay, I'll stay... Just for a couple more minutes..."

~~~

"Where the hell've you been, you little shit?"

"I was with Eren." I muttered, staring down at my shoes instead of looking at him. Usually he would see it as a sign of respect, but something was different with him. Had he... Had he been drinking?

"Who the fuck's that?"

"U-Um.. The Jaeger family."

"What the fuck?" He crouched down to look at me, just as I had done with Eren, but this time no one was handing the other a treat. Instead, I was met with a slap in the face.

"I've told you to play with kids your own age, you piece of shit! Nothing good will come from playing with a fucking toddler. You're six years old, so act like it!"

I gritted my teeth as I tried to remove the painful buzz in my now very red cheek. Somehow, I felt couragous today, as if this was finally the day I would stand up to him. Stand up to my father.

"He's not just a toddler! He's my friend!" I exclaimed loudly as I looked at him, my hands clenching into fists.

"Say what now?" My father looked at me, first with the expression like he had just been hit himself, but then it turned into blind rage. "Don't you dare oppose me!"

I shook my head, yet I still took at step back. Somehow, my body just automatically tried to get as far away from the threat as possible.

"Why can't you just let me be a child for once?! I'm six years old, I'm allowed to be just like everyone else!" I yelled. I had finally said it out loud, and now that I had gotten it out, I felt relief flood into me. But it was too early for that just yet.

"Because you are destined for great things, boy." My father replied, his voice again calm, almost too calm. It was like silence before the storm. "I have raised you to be a man, no matter your age."

I groaned loudly, feeling the tears pressing on. Why couldn't he just understand?

"Well, I want to play with other kids! You can't take that away from me!"

"Oh, you're damn right I can." He laughed right into my face – my own father, ridiculing me. I could smell the strong stench of alcohol, and I immediately turned my face away. He disgusted me. Sometimes I couldn't even believe that he had a part in creating me, when he had a mindset of a two year old.

"No!" I immediately screamed, as I saw him reaching for the phone. "P-Please, Dad! Don't take him away!" Eren was the only thing that could make me feel normal. Being with him, made me at ease. He made me feel like I was just like any other kid, and he made me forget about my shitty life. Without him, I would probably be much less sane.

"I love him, Dad!"

His eyes slowly squinted as his lips formed a very thin line on his face. For a second, everything in the house was quiet, until he suddenly thrusted himself forward, grabbing me by the neck and threw me against the wall.

"NO SON OF MINE IS A FUCKING FAG!"

~~~

"Come on, little shit. Get your ass out of my car," He hissed at me, as he grabbed my arm and pulled me out against my will.

"I don't understand!" I exclaimed, as I tried pulling my arm away from him – and succeeding. "If I'm not allowed to see Eren, then why are you taking me to him?"

"To end it properly." He just grunted, as he walked to the front door and rang the bell. I stood beside him, scratching my shoulder as I felt rather uncomfortable. This place was like a different world to me. A better world, that I could keep all to myself. And now my father had forced his way into my world, trying to tear it down. It was like he enjoyed watching me unwillingly destroy everything that was good in my life.

The door was answered by a pretty brunette with a loose pony-tail showing over her shoulder.

"Oh, hi Levi!" She smiled excitedly. "Eren's been talking non-stop about you the last couple of days. Why haven't you been to visit? He's missed you."

I looked down, blushing by the words, but her sweetness would quickly become tainted by my father.

"His aunt just died. He was in remorse," My father sighed, as he placed a hand on my head. His voice was suddenly different, and as I stared up, I was looking at a person I couldn't even recognise. He was smiling at her, but it was a sad smile, like he actually had emotions.

"Oh my, my condolensces..." Mrs. Jaeger said, placing a hand over her mouth. "Please come in, I just made some tea."

"I would love a cup of tea," My father chuckled, or rather, this strange, unfamiliar person chuckled. I didn't understand it at that time, but when I would become older, I would realise that my father was an excellent liar. That was how he never got caught.

"You can just run up to Eren, sweetie. He's in his room,"

I nodded excitedly, but with just one stern look from my father, I lost those positive emotions, and I instead felt my blood turn cold. It was like his eyes were talking to me, giving me a message. And of course, I knew what I had to do.

~~~

"Piss off, you stupid boy." I groaned, as I looked away. I couldn't stand seeing the hurt in his eyes. He must have felt horrible. I felt worse, though.

"B-But, W-Wevi..."

"NOT WEVI! My name is Levi, you stupid shit!" I exclaimed, my hands clenching. This was turning into something really ugly... I practically had to use the same words as my father to hurt Eren with.

Probably because I knew how fatal they could be.

"B-But... W-Wevi... I wove you..." He stammered again, before starting to sniffle. Oh god, I couldn't watch him cry. I just couldn't take that. My heart was already broken into pieces.

"Just stop being a stupid faggot! You don't love me, because I hate you." I said sternly, as I stood up and walked away from him.

"Stay away from me, or you'll regret it!" Was the last thing I yelled at him, before slamming the door in his face.

God, he was only a little kid. But apparently, in my father's sick brain, I had to do this. Had to make sure that he would turn on me, hate me from now on... That I would destroy our relationship so much, that it could never be rebuild. I never did understand why that was so important to my father. Was it because of a traumatic experience he had as a kid? Or was it just because he liked to watch me suffer? His own son?

I would soon get the answer to that.

I got down into the hallway, as my father came out of the kitchen with Mrs. Jaeger.

"I guess we'll see you on tuesday then," He laughed, as Mrs. Jaeger nodded quickly. "That would be a delight!" She exclaimed with cheerful eyes, as she watched him walk to me and place a hand on my shoulder.

"Son, did it go well?" He asked, looking down at me. I nodded slowly, not being able to speak freely with Mrs. Jaeger in front of us.

"Y-Yes, Dad.."

"Wonderful. We'll see you at 6 pm then. I'll be looking forward to that pumpkin pie then, Carla!"

It was first when we got into the car, that I turned to stare at him, completely confused.

"What did you mean with that? If we're visiting them again, then why can't I be friends with Eren?"

"Because," He growled as he turned on the engine. "No son of mine is going to be filled with disgusting homo-thoughts. You'll make that little shithead your own personal punchbag. Treat him like the fag he is. Who knows – maybe you'll be able to kick those thoughts out of him?"

I stared at my father, completely speechless.

Eren was only four years old. He knew nothing. He probably just loved me in a platonic way, as if I was his older brother. So what was my father's problem really? Why had he turned out to be such a homophobe?

~~~

"Dad."

"... Dad."

"FATHER!"

He jumped up in his chair, looking around with a confused look in his eyes, before they settled on me and turned vicious.

"What the fuck do you want, kid. You're not getting any money."

I exhaled deeply. I needed to keep my calm – there was no reason for me to start talking trash to him, I refused to sink to his level.

"I need to tell you something. It's not going to be pleasant."

I was used to being kicked. I was used to being tormented mentally, and him being violent and dominative in any way possible, but I had never seen this one coming. I never knew that he could go this far.

"Dad, I'm gay."

He laughed. He actually laughed. I was stunned for a moment, before trying to continue.

"I'm serious."

"S-Shut the fuck up, or you'll give me a heart attack," He kept laughing loudly, his fat stomach wobbling as his whole body kept shaking. I looked away in disgust, before taking a step back. If it was a heart attack he wanted, then I would give him one.

"I'm a so-called fag. I like sucking cock. I get turned on when I look at-" His laughter had immediately stopped, and suddenly he had thrusted himself towards me, reaching for my neck. But I wasn't six years old anymore, I was eightteen, and he had become a fat, old man. Ergo, I could easily move away and avoid his touch completely.

"Come on, old man! Don't want to hear it? Then shut me up!"

I let him try to attack me for a couple of seconds, before hurrying behind the dining table, putting some space between us.

"I didn't raise you to become a fag!" He screamed at me, hands clenched into fists.

"No, you raised me to become just like you! But being gay has nothing to do with how you are raised, it's something you're just born with!" I yelled back, though my voice was a little more calm that his was.

"Bullshit!" He just screamed in pure rage. He was probably seeing black dots by now.

"Face it, dad! Your son likes cock!" Just saying the words made me grin slightly. This whole situation felt amusing to me.

"... G-Get out... GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I refuse to have someone like you living in my home!" He was pointing at the door, but I wasn't much surprised. Actually, I had prepared for this, just in case, with bags in the hallway, packed and ready to go.

"Remember to get that heart attack, you homophobic shit!" I yelled at him as I showed him the middle finger, before hurrying to the hallway, grabbing my bags and running out the door.

From the road, I turned to stare at my now former home, where he had found his way to the door.

"And don't EVER come back, you piece of trash!"

"Die like the scum you really are!" I yelled back, before hurrying out of his sight, and thereby beginning to wander the streets.

~~~

"U-Um... Levi, is that you?" I slowly raised my head to look into a pair of beautiful green eyes, and the smell of daisies.

"Who wants to know?" I just growled, before pulling the hood farther down to avoid the person from recognising.

"I'm... Carla Jaeger. Do you remember me?" She got down on her knees, right in front of me, her eyes filled with worry and sadness. I hated getting that pitiful look. I didn't need pity, I just needed money.

"Listen lady, this is a busy street, and if you don't move your butt, you'll stop all the other passerby's from giving me money." I grunted, and pulled my knees closer to my chest.

She looked at me for several seconds, probably debating something inside her head, before getting up.

Fucking finally.

"Come. I'll give you nice, warm meal, okay? Then we can talk."

"I don't need to talk, I just need money." I just growled.

"... Just hear me out. I'll give you..." She rummaged her purse for a second. "A hundred bucks. Just come with me, okay?" She handed me the bill, and I stared at it for a second, not believing what I was seeing. I had been living on the streets for a few months now, but that was the highest amount of money I had ever gotten. That could last me at least two or three weeks, if I was careful with them.

"Ah... Alright, lady. But no funny-business," I said, still not trusting her completely, as I got up and grabbed my bags, before following her to the restuarant.

~~~

She took off her hat and placed it on the table, before folding her hands in her lap and looked at me with worrisome eyes. I avoided it as best as I could, by just staring into the table, but unfortunately I couldn't avoid her words just as easily.

"Levi, last time I saw you, you were just a little boy... What happened to you? Why aren't you living with your dad?"

I shook my head, refusing to answer that. It wasn't possible for me to talk about it without getting emotional about it, and I hated those feelings. Crying was even worse.

She slowly slid her hand over the table, and grabbed mine with her soft hand. I stared at it for a long time, my body freezing up. But fortunately, I didn't pull away. Why, I didn't know. There was just something so soothing about this woman's touch. As if just by holding my hand, she was telling me that everything was going to be fine.

And the worst part was, that I almost believed her.

"Levi, how long have you been living on the street?"

"... Five, maybe six months?" I shrugged. I could see the horrified look on her face, which she quickly tried to hide from me.

"Oh my god, Levi... You poor boy..."

I furrowed my brows by those words.

"Listen lady, I'm not a boy. I'm a man. I can take care of myself."

"Oh, Levi... You'll always be the little boy that I remember you to be... You, and my little Eren, playing together everyday..." She smiled at that thought, something that I almost did, before coming to my senses again.

"Who the fuck is Eren." I lied. Of course I remembered him, but I wasn't about to let her know that. Because then she would realise that I was also lying about knowing her.

Before she could answer, the waitress came with the burger and fries for me, and I immediately started eating it greedily, as if I hadn't been eating for days. Which was actually the case.

"Excuse me for a minute, Levi." She quickly walked away, and stayed gone for so long, that I had almost finished the whole plate once she got back.

"I can't leave before you pay the bill." I said impatiently, staring at Carla with crossed arms over my chest.

"Levi..." She look like she was hesitating. I looked at her directly in the eyes for the very first time, and I could see how conflicted she looked.

"Please, come home with me. Let me take care of you."

~~~

I looked at him with that look. Very intimidating and scary, which of course wasn't just coincidental. I pressed my small lips together in a frown, as I stared at me childhood friend, who had grown up to become so handsome. When the hell had that happened?

"Hello," I said, before standing up and walking over to him. The height difference between us became very clear, and I furrowed my brows in annoyance as I realised that my nose only reached his chin. This was the boy I had tormented for loving me, and now I couldn't even seem to look away from him. Even though he had a smug smile on his face.

"Hi," He said, as he stretched out a hand, to which I grabbed immediately, and shook it oh so tightly.

"So your name is, hmm... Eren, right?" I said casually, as I looked up at him. I didn't see the reason to let him know that I remembered him.

But at the same time, I felt rather conflicted inside my head. All those years with my father trying to brainwash me, some of it had stuck to me. And one of those things, was the unnatural hate that I had gotten against Eren. Yet, the feelings of love that I had for him a loooong time ago, was also still firing up inside of me. So what should it be?

"Y-Yeah," He said, clenching his jaw. I took advantage of the moment to pull my hand away, and hurry back to my seat, leaving him confused, which was ironic when I was probably more confused and conflicted than he was.

And then, Carla intterupted my thought process with the question:

"Sweetheart, would you like a muffin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi's father is a homophobe. I think we can all agree on that. I've never met one in person who was (thank god), so I can't write this as realistically as someone else might would, but I wanted to try. After all, this fanfic is about how manipulating and horrible homophobic relatives can be, and how much they can brainwash you into thinking that you're a bad person, or you're 'dirty' and 'disgusting' just for being who you are.   
> Levi is a strong person, we all now that, but he has had some hardships. The biggest one he had to overcome, was his father. My thoughts on this is, that Levi was manipulated by his father, just when he was a little kid, into thinking that what he was feeling was wrong. And as we all know, children's minds are easy to toy with. That is the reason why Levi acted as he did - every time he hinted at something homosexual, his father would punish him both verbally and physically. Every time he talked about Eren, the same thing happened.   
> As Levi's father became 'friends' with Carla, Levi had to keep hurting Eren to prove to his father, that he also hated the 'homos'. That went on for years, until the two families stopped being friends, and Levi forgot all about Eren. After that, Levi grew up to be the strong man we know him as now, and he was so strong that he didn't fear standing up to his father and telling him the truth, even though he knew the consequences.  
> This is my explaining, if you're confused about the pieces of the story that is missing. 
> 
> I know that Levi has treated Eren horrible, when they were kids, and when they met again many years later. But having your mind messed with just doesn't go away so easily. When Levi met Eren again, he was a huge reminder of why being gay was such a bad thing - basically because Eren reminded him of his father was, when he was little.   
> I guess my point is, that Levi is still not completely 'healed' from all the abuse that he was put through because of his father. And when you are being abused, you build up a lot of anger that you need to get out somehow. Levi's way, was to do the same thing to Eren.  
> I'm not defending Levi, because how he treated Eren definitely wasn't right and shouldn't have happened, but our minds work in strange ways. And so did Levi's. 
> 
> I hope you are all well, and that you got into the new year safe and sound. Oh, and by the way, I'm travelling to the US in the summer! Really excited about that!
> 
> Well, that's it for now. Hope you're all okay. I'll see you all next chapter. <3


	20. Forbidden Love

"I almost can't believe it..." I whispered with a frown. We had chosen to walk home, and when we had entered our bedroom, we sat down on my bed, and he had started to explain everything to me. I had listened in silence, not daring to interrupt him in fear of him stopping, or forgetting the small details. I wanted to know everything.

And now I did.

"I can't believe you lived on the streets for so long... If I had known that, I wouldn't have treated you so horribly when you first arrived." I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I turned my head to look up at him, our eyes meeting for the first time after him talking for so long. I silenced myself immediately though, as I saw the look in his eyes. They were glassy, as if he had an inner fight with himself, trying not to cry. God, what was I thinking? Of course he was emotional after opening up to talk about something so traumatic.

"H-Hey, Levi..." I murmured, biting my lip as I reached my hand over towards him, but he was too fast for me – He grabbed my hand with his, and for a second I thought that he was going to just push it away, but that wasn't the case. Instead, he intertwined our fingers, before slowly letting our hands fall down onto the bed inbetween us.

"It's fine... I'm fine." He just said, before hesitating. "Just... Gimme' a second..." He mumbled, before slowly leaning up against me, resting his head on my shoulders and closing his eyes with a sigh. My whole body froze up for a second. I wasn't used to being so close to him, and definitely not like this. But I had to forget about my own insecurities and feelings for a second, as this was about Levi right now. He needed my support right now, so that was what I was going to do. I'd be his rock for as long as he needed me to. I just had to ignore the bright red blush on my cheek, and try to calm down my heart, which was beating like crazy.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Levi mumbled after a minute or two. He didn't move, though.

"I'm just glad that you told me. That's all." I mumbled, though that wasn't quite the truth. We could have avoided all the stupid shit that we had gone through the last couple of weeks … But, looking back on those memories now, kinda made me smile.

"Remember when you drew whiskers on my face?" I asked him with a large grin on my face. He looked up at me, chuckling lowly.

"Ahh... Yeah. Those times... God, we really tortured each other."

I nodded, before snickering.

"Admit it … Weren't you having fun, though? I really hated you back then, but there was always a part of me that was amused by what we were doing."

"That's probably because you were having secret feelings for me. It's a thin line between love and hate after all," Levi pulled away so he could look at me properly, while wearing a teasing smile on his lips. I rolled my eyes and snorted loudly.

"As if!"

"Oh come on, Jaeger. Don't deny it. I saw you, remember?"

I furrowed my brows, slightly confused.

"Saw me... What?"

"I saw you and Armin doing... that. And you were moaning my name. That's gotta count for something, right?"

I blushed heavily, averting my eyes.

"That's so not what happened... I only happened to say your name because I was surprised to see you... I was totally not thinking about you," I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly to underline my point.

Levi laughed loudly at my reaction, amused at the sight of me.

"You're such a brat sometimes..." He mumbled for himself, shaking his head, before he leaned over to kiss my cheek. I let out a surprised yelp, my hand flying up to place itself on my cheek.

"Wh-What was that for?" I asked, as I looked at him.

"Nothing in particular... Why? Do you have a problem with me kissing you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I bit my lip, feeling overly embarassed over the fact that he was suddenly so frank about something so intimate.

"N-No, but..." I stammered, not sure how to respond. "What does it mean?"

Levi shrugged. "Whatever you want it to mean, Jaeger." He looked at me for a second, as if he expected me to answer right then and there. What was I supposed to say to that? What did I want it to mean? Did I like Levi? Did I want to have such a relationship with him? I needed time to think it over. But Levi wasn't going to give me that time. As I stayed silent, he just shook his head, before moving over to climb out of my bed.

Something was tugging away at my heart, and in right that moment, I felt like I needed to act now, before it was too late. As if this was my only chance to give him a proper answer. His heart was open to me, he hadn't closed it yet, and who knew when it would open again?

I grabbed his shoulder in an impulsive and desperate moment, pulling him back slightly, just enough for me to lean forward and press my lips against his. His eyes widened in surprise for a second, before he calmly closed his eyes and he reached up to grab my neck and hold me in place so I couldn't pull away. I could hear loud thuds in my ears, probably caused by my crazy heartbeat, as I got caught up in the moment. A warm feeling was spreading through my stomach, and though I didn't know what that was at the very moment, I realised later that it was the feeling of happiness.

Levi relaxed his whole body, slowly letting his upper body fall down onto the bed, and as he still had a hold on my neck, I was pulled down with him. The position was awkward for the both of us, but it didn't matter. Or, well, I wasn't going to let it ruin the moment. My hand slipped from his shoulder and down to his hip, weakly pushing it to let him know that I wanted him to get closer to to me, get further onto the bed. Somehow, he knew exactly what I wanted to do – He lifter his hips and pushed himself closer, so I could lift one of my legs and throw it over his lower body, so I was now hovering over his body. My elbows were holding me up on both sides of his shoulders, so nothing else of our bodies were touching except our lips.

God, something about this was so … so … exciting. I had done something similar with Armin before, but it felt completely new to do it with Levi. It was like all my past sexual experiences was getting deleted one by one, as I created new ones with Levi.

I knew why it was so different, though. It was because I had never felt like this before, when I had done it with Armin. With Levi, I felt like my whole body was on fire everywhere we touched each other. I didn't know if I was in love with Levi, it sure as hell felt like it. With Armin, I had felt like it was wrong to do such things, but with Levi … It felt so right.

Levi released my neck, only so that hand could join in with the other, as he placed them on my waist. And soon enough, they weren't there anymore – they had travelled down to the end of my shirt, only to slide up under it and disappear from visible eyes. I shivered at the feeling of his cold fingers, as they explored every inch of my skin. But there was nothing I could do – or rather, there was nothing I wanted to do. I somehow wanted him to keep touching me, it was getting me so excited and fired up, but at the same time there was a small part of me that told me that it was going too fast. We were under the same roof as the rest of the family, after all. And the last thing I wanted to happen, was to have one of them walk in on us. If anyone found out about us, it would mean that we would be separated from each other. And then what would happen? Would he be thrown out? I couldn't imagine my mother agree to that, but my father was a different case. And I wouldn't be the reason for anymore trouble in Levi's life. I didn't want him to deal with any more heartache and problems. I refused to let that happen. So I reluctantly pulled away, though we were only separated through a few inches. Levi's eyes opened, and his hands stopped moving, as he looked up at me, confused as to why I had stopped it, when it had felt so good.

"What?" He said, his voice soft and low, and the look on his face almost melted my heart. His cheeks were slightly coloured pink, and his lips were parted by an inch or two, so he could breathe heavily through them. His eyes was the best part though – they were looking hazy, as if he had gone to another world for a moment, yet he was looking at me as if I was that world.

"This is bad." I answered, prepared to say more, though Levi wasn't going to let that happen.

"Mmmmh, yes, very bad..." He purred lowly, as his hands moved down, further and further, until they landed on my butt, squeezing it tightly. I let out a surprised yelp, staring at him with wide eyes.

"N-No! Levi, I'm serious,"

Levi's brows furrowed, and he tilted his head.

"What's the problem?"

"We can't do this. If people starts to notice, mom and dad will have to separate us. This needs to end, or we'll be separated. Don't you understand that?"

Levi thought about it for a second, before letting out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense... After all, two horny, gay teenagers living in the same room? That's bound to go wrong." He grinned, and now it was my turn to furrow my brows. This wasn't a laughing matter. "Oh, come on, Eren. We'll just have to make this our little secret, right? After all, everyone still thinks that we hate each other. We'll just pretend when we're in school, and then when we get home, we can have all the fun we want." He smiled teasingly, as if it was some kind of game. I didn't see it that way, but something about it still excited me.

"Pretending, h-huh..." I didn't have to think about it for long. If that was what I had to do, to keep on doing this, then I was going to do it.

It was forbidden love, after all. Who wouldn't get excited about that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly getting better. One step at a time, that's what people say after all, right? I can get out of bed, I can function a whole day, I can take showers, and I can go grocery shopping, so I don't starve.  
> And now, I'm slowly getting my love for writing back. Slowly, but surely. It's my new goal: Write, write, write! So that's what I'm doing. Writing. Listening to Tracy Chapman. And then writing some more. 
> 
> Hopefully, I'll get back to you with another chapter very soon! And please, please, leave a comment; tell me what you think of the story!


	21. Tonight is the Night

It had been several days since me and Levi's agreement, and now everything had somehow turned into a normal routine.

I waved cheerfully to Mikasa from across the cafeteria, as I walked over to sit at her table. But as I got closer, I noticed someone else also heading in the same direction as me.

Great. I still had to deal with him hating me, didn't I? Well, if he couldn't stand sitting at the same table as me, then he was the one that should walk away, right? I certainly wasn't going to let his hatred get in my way. Mikasa was my sister after all, and if I wanted to sit with her, then he couldn't stop me.

We both sat down at the same time, on both of Mikasa's sides.

"Hey," I said calmly, before lifting up the burger on my tray, and taking a bite.

Just stay casual, like nothing has happened, I thought to myself.

"Hey," Mikasa smiled. No answer from Armin, as he just silently ate his own food.

"Ugh, I'm so tired of our history lessons. Learning about the Second World War is so boring," I let out a sigh, and leaned back in my chair as I took a sip of my bottle of water.  
"Yeah, it's pretty exhausting." Mikasa nodded. She seemed a little uptight still, but it was probably because it was awkward for her to have two of her best friends talking. It was easy to feel how crappy the atmosphere at our table was.

"And the professor is soooooo boring!" I kept going, just because silence would be more awkward than forced small talk. "He talks with such a weird accent, and sometimes –"

"Oh my god, will you shut up already?" Armin suddenly exclaimed, slamming his fork down onto the tray. People close to our table even looked over at his curiously, that was how loud he had been.

"What? If you don't want to listen to me talking, then why don't you just go over and sit with Jean?" I said immediately, crossing my arms in defence. I wasn't going to let him get me down about this. I wasn't in the wrong this time, he was.

"I will, then. It will be an upgrade from the current company," Armin growled, and got up.

"Hey!" Mikasa said, looking up at Armin, before he had the chance to walk away. "I understand that you're mad at Eren, but don't go insulting me as well." She said sternly, and it almost sounded like she was scolding him. The negative energy immediately left Armin's body, as he let down his shoulders, and frowned.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa. I-I … That wasn't cool of me. I'm sorry,"

Mikasa shrugged, as she turned away from him to focus on her food again. "It's fine, Armin." She just mumbled. Armin looked like he was considering to stay here for a few seconds, but in the end, he still turned around and headed towards Jean's table.

"Sorry, Mikasa. I didn't want to get you dragged into this," I told her, as he had disappeared from the hearing distance.

"It's fine. Armin need to get all his anger out somehow. He just need to understand not to let it out on other people," Mikasa said, as she took a bite of her burger, before looking at me as she chewed. "Ah, well, I just wish he would forgive me already. I know he's angry though, so I won't push him..."

"Are you stupid?" Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes it's good to give him a little space. But too much space is also a bad thing. You need to try to make it up to him – give him some reassurance that you're still the same friend to him, that you were before you guys started dating. And come on, Eren … It's pretty clear that he's this mad, because he still cares about you."

I listened to her, slowly getting to the realisation that she was right.

"Y-Yeah … I'll do a better job. I definitely will." I nodded. "I'll do my best."

And of course, it didn't take long for an opportunity to rise, and give me the chance I needed.

"We're starting on a new project today." Our teacher told us in our English class. "Since we are learning about Shakespeare's Hamlet, I want you all to rewrite the story into a short, modern text, and perform it for the class. You have to be in teams and work together. Two is the shortest amount of people you can be, and four is the highest. You have the rest of the time to find partners, and discuss ideas," I looked around, already excited. This could be my chance to get paired up with Armin. Me, Armin and Mikasa, just like old times. And we'd be able to work together, and so, he would be forced to talk to me. It was good, right? I got up and immediately walked over to Armin's table, but his face turned sour the second he saw me.

"What do you want?"

"I want to be in the same group as you. We could get Mikasa as well to join. It could be fun, aight?" I sent him a cheerful smile, which he quickly erased with an annoyed glare.

"No thanks. I'm already in a group." He said sternly, before getting up, and walking over to Jean and Connie. I let out a sigh. Well, this was going to be harder than expected.

"Eren," Mikasa announced her presence from behind me, and I turned around to stare at both Mikasa and Levi. "We are the last ones who doesn't have a group, so the teacher said that we should be one. Us three," She sent Levi a look from the corner of her eyes, before looking at me again, as if to say 'is this going to be hard for you?'. Of course, what she didn't know, was that me and Levi didn't hate each other anymore. Just the opposite, actually …

"Ah, okay." I nodded. "Let's sit at my table," We walked over silently, and sat down. I found pen and paper, before looking up at the two. "How should we do this?"

As Mikasa started to mention some ideas, I bent over the paper, and started to write. I wrote slowly though, and couldn't keep up with most of what she said.

"We'll never get done if you're writing, brat." Levi huffed, as he forcefully pulled the pen and paper out of my hands. I looked up at him, growling; "Hey!" as I tried to take them back again.

Mikasa sighed, and shook her head.

"Stop it, you two. We can't work together properly, if you keep fighting with each other." She looked at me as if she was telling me to behave, and I immediately crossed my arms, and pouted.

"He could at least have asked nicely," I muttered in annoyance.

"Whatever, brat." Levi rolled his eyes, as he started writing – and I had to admit, he definitely was faster than I was. Even his handwriting was prettier, and more graceful than mine. I turned my eyes to look at Mikasa, wondering if she had really bought it. We weren't really fighting after all, it was just for show.

I looked at the two in silence as time went on, watching them work together. They were so much more intelligent than me – faster and better than me in every way. Somehow, it annoyed me. I could be just as good as they were, I just needed a little more time to think things through. It didn't come as easily for me, as it did for them.

I was pulled out of my thoughts, as the bell rang, telling us that school was over for today. I let out a sigh of relief, as we packed our things and walked out. As Levi turned left and Mikasa turned right, I was left standing there, considering whom to follow.  
"Eren, are you coming?" Mikasa asked, as she turned around to look at me.  
"U-Um... I think I'm gonna try talk to Armin again," I smiled at her, before turning left and running towards Levi. Both Levi and Armin was in the school musical after all, so it was natural that I walked with Levi over there, right?

Oh well, there was no going back now.

"Brat, what are you doing?" Levi furrowed his brows, as I hurried over to walk by his side.

"I want to hang out with you," I said truthfully, sending him a small smile that seemed to leave a crack in Levi's stern face. He almost smiled back, before pulling himself together and frowning.

"Don't say stuff like that here," He said, before giving my shoulder a hard nudge. I winced at the pain, but decided to ignore it.

"Fine, I guess I'll just leave then..." I murmured, pretending to be hurt. Apparently it worked, because Levi quickly managed to grab my wrist.

"Hold that thought," He growled lowly, as he looked around swiftly. His eyes landed on something, and he hurried to the right, opening a door and pulling me inside. An empty classroom.

My back was pushed right up against the door only seconds after, and I looked down in confusion, only to catch Levi's eyes on mine.

"A-Are you gonna beat me up now?" I asked with a hoarse voice, my cheeks getting hot and flustered.

"I just might," Levi answered back, before grabbing my neck and pulling me down to close the distance between us. Our lips collided, and I let out a low moan filled with relief, as I pulled him close. It felt like a century ago since we last kissed. As Levi pushed himself away from me, I immediately groaned in displeasure.

"Too bad, you know the rules." Levi grinned, as he placed his hands on my arms that were still wrapped tightly around him. He was trying to push them away from him, but I wasn't going to let him.

"But I want more..." I pouted, as if I was a stubborn, greedy child. Which I kinda was.

"Weren't you the one who didn't want this to happen in the first place?" Levi asked me, with a raised eyebrow. I looked away, slightly ashamed. Yeah, that was right, I had been the one who had said that we couldn't do stuff like this, because the consequences would be all on Levi, and I certainly didn't want that. But at the same time, I was a hormonal teenager in love – so how could I stop myself, when an opportunity like this arrived?

"I know, I know …" I mumbled, trying to look innocent, as my mind was trying to come up with something to say to convince him otherwise. "It's just hard to be mean to you, when I just want to kiss you and hold you at the same time … I want to touch you all the time, it's like torture!" I sighed, looking down into his eyes. I noticed a faint blush on his cheeks appear, even though he rolled his eyes and tried to act like my words hadn't gotten to him.

"Don't say stupid shit like that, Eren." He scolded me, but this time, his voice wasn't so stern.

"I can't help myself." I excused myself, before leaning down again to kiss him. He managed to turn his head, but that didn't stop me. I placed my lips on his neck, leaving small kisses all over it, before letting my tongue get into the fun as well. I could feel Levi shivering in my arms, and I knew that he was enjoying it just as much as I had thought he would. It actually made me kind of happy, that he was able to let his facade down around me, to become weak in my arms, especially when he always had to be strong.

I let my teeth slide over his skin, just preparing to bite him, before he lifted his hand and slapped the back of my neck.  
"Don't leave a mark, you brat!" He exclaimed, and in my surprise I loosened my grip on him so he could take a step back.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled, as I scratched my head where he had hit me.

"Yeah, you better be." He growled, apparently even more angry than when he was just pretending. Had I pissed him off? I lowered my shoulders in regret. I shouldn't have pushed him like that.

"I guess I'll just go home then,"

"Yeah, you do that," Levi huffed loudly, as he opened the door and we walked out. I was just about to turn around to walk away, when Levi grabbed my arm, and stopped me. He got on his toes, and whispered into my ear, "I'll see you at home, Jaeger. And when I say that I'll see you, I mean that I'll see all of you..." He winked teasingly at me, before letting me go, and walking away casually, as if he hadn't just said the most embarassing thing to me. Well, I definitely felt embarassed. Embarassed, and a little … Excited?

I couldn't help myself, after all we had only kissed. None of us had even taken our shirts off yet, when we were making out at home. Sure, I had seen his body before, and he had seen mine, but it was all different now that we were in an intimate relationship.

So I couldn't help but wonder if he had been serious about what he had said. Because if he really was serious, then wouldn't that mean that ….

I felt my cheeks getting even redder.

Yeah, we were definitely going further tonight.

And I couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually written a long time ago, I've just been up to a lot of stuff, so I haven't got the time to upload it before now. Next chapter is almost done as well, so hopefully it'll get out soon.
> 
> It's the holidays here, and it's the last one before my exams are coming up ... Going to graduate soon, and it's exciting as hell, but also a little scary. I know exactly what I want to study afterwards in the university, but I don't know if my final grades will be good enough...  
> Cross your fingers for me! 
> 
> Love you all, I really appreciate all your support and love for this story,  
> Danishartist


	22. Who's Topping?

I sat at the edge of my bedside, my foot tapping resentlessly on the floor. I was impatient, that was clear. I had taken a bath, said goodnight to my parents, and now I just sitting here in my sweats and the usual t-shirt that I used to sleep in, waiting for Levi to come home. He was late, very late. Wasn't the musical preparations only going to last until six o'clock? Now the clock showed nine, and he still hadn't showed up. What had he been doing? I stared at his bed, which was neatly done. His bag wasn't there. I threw myself onto my bed, groaning into my pillow. God dammit, why was he torturing me like this? Telling me such an embarassing thing, and then making me wait for him? I hated having to wait like this, not knowing what was going to happen when he got here. And my heart hadn't calmed down yet. It was like, as more time went on, my body became more and more hot and bothersome, until I finally couldn't stand it anymore.

Damn him, that Levi.

I got up and dragged myself out into the bathroom, taking a leak. My mind get going round and round around the same damn thing. Or well, the same damn person. I washed my hands slowly, before letting out a sigh. I was considering going to sleep, but how the hell could I do that, when my body was like this? I was too nervous. I dragged myself back through the hall, and opened the door to my bedroom, before stopping as I felt another presence in the room. He was standing right there, and it was clear to see that he had only just gotten in and placed his bag on the ground. His cheeks were flustered and his hair was all messy, and it looked like he had been running.

"H-Hey," Levi panted, his voice clearly revealing that he had indeed been running. I closed the door, before looking at him with a pout.  
"Where have you been?!" I exclaimed, looking at him. He was finally here, but instead of being relieved, I was annoyed. "I have been waiting for you for three hours!"

Levi's eyes widened, before a sly smile appeared on his lips. "Oh? You have?"

I blushed. Damn it, I didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"Y-Yeah... But you blew it, damn it!" I crossed my arms. What the hell was I even saying? I didn't mean that at all. Maybe I did? Or maybe I just wanted to see if he'd get disappointed over it. There was no reaction though, as he stayed calm and collected.

"I got caught up with an old friend," He shrugged, before turning around and pulling off his shirt. "Wait..." He threw the shirt on his bed, before turning around to look at me with a weird look in his eyes. "Why did you wait for me in the first place?"

I averted his eyes, my head getting more and more confused. What the hell did that mean? Wait … Did that mean, that he didn't mean what he said? Was he just joking after all? Had I really gotten all excited over something that was meant as a joke? How embarassing.

"Y-You know why..." I said, crossing my arms and looking away. "It's because of what you said at school..." I mumbled, embarassed to even say it out loud.

Levi grinned, making me even more annoyed with him, but all those negative feelings immediately went away, as he stepped up in front of me, looking up at me with those beautiful eyes of his.

"Yeah? What about it?" He said innocently. God, was he really going to force it out of me?

"W-Well..." I hesitated as I looked at him, before pushing out my bottom lip. "No, forget about it," I muttered, taking a step away from him.

"Oi!" Levi grabbed my arm and stopped me from getting any further away. "Just give me a second, okay? God, don't get all depressed about it. I was just teasing,"

My eyes perked up in immediate excitement, a big smile appearing on my lips.

"Really?!"

"Yeah, yeah." Levi chuckled at my cheerful response. "I'm gonna take a shower, okay?" I nodded eagerly, before watching him walk out the room. As the door was safely closed between us, I let out a squeal of happiness, before jumping over and onto my bed, grabbing my pillow and squeezing it tightly against my chest. It was kinda weird that I could get so excited over a guy who I once saw as my nemesis, but now it somehow just felt … Natural. Like somehow, we were meant to be.

I couldn't help but wonder how different our lives could have been, if his father had never forced him away from me. Would we have grown up together? Would he have been my first boyfriend instead of Armin? I kept thinking about it for a while, imagining all kinds of random scenarios in my head, not realising that the door opened, and Levi walked into the room. It was first when I heard the sound of the door being locked, that my head perked up from my bed, and our eyes met again. He was wearing only a towel this time, something he had never done before. I blushed immediately, as I had plenty of view to the rest of his body, and that said a lot. It was almost too embarassing, the way he was so casual about me seeing his body like this. Didn't he care at all? I could never do that, I would die of embarassment before even walking through the door.

But damn it, he looked good. Couldn't complain about that.

"What are you looking at?" Levi asked with a teasing smile as he noticed my wide eyes staring at him. I blushed immediately, and hid my face in my pillow.

"N-Nothing..." I mumbled, my words getting muffled by it. I slowly turned my head so I was able to look at him through the corner of my eye, though it still looked like I had my whole face hidden in the pillow. With this, I watched him walk to his bed, and letting the towel fall to the floor, revealing his perfectly-shaped behind. He grabbed a fresh pair of boxers from his shelf, and put them on, before turning around and walking over to shut the lights. As it got dark in the room, my heartbeat got crazy fast again. I could only just make out the room because of the moon light from the window, but I couldn't see Levi. How was he going to do this? Clearly he wasn't going to start up a conversation, but … What if he just went to bed? Just to tease me even more?

God, I couldn't stand this. I didn't want to wait anymore.

I was just about sit up and say something, before I suddenly heard the floor crack loudly, as Levi walked over it. I stayed silent under my duvet, waiting impatiently, before I suddenly felt the duvet getting pulled up, and cold air got inside. I shivered, but the cold was quickly replaced by warmth as Levi crawled under it, and placed his body close up against mine.

I raised a hand up to my cheek, trying to cool it down, but there was really no need. He couldn't see my blush anyway, right?

"Sorry I made you wait so long..." Levi spoke lowly, his eyes flashing in the moonlight as he stared at me. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, before answering.

"I was afraid that you were just teasing me when you didn't show up..."

Levi let out a quiet chuckle, before moving his body closer to mine and placing a hand on my waist.

"I would never do that,"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Alright alright, I probably would." Levi chuckled again. "But I wouldn't joke about something like this..." His voice faded away as he stared at me, as if he was waiting for me to do something.

Was he going to kiss me now? Or did he want me to kiss him? I took the chance, moving my head forward to do it, but apparently he had done that as well, and our foreheads bumped together. We both groaned at the same time and pulled back, so we could rub our foreheads. After a few seconds, we got eyecontact again, and we both broke out in laughter.

"God, we really are stupid," Levi said, and I could hear a smile in his voice. "Stay still, brat." He ordered me, and I did. He moved over to lay on top of me, his almost-naked body pressed against mine, before he leaned down and let our lips meet.

He tasted like toothpaste, and somehow I wished that he hadn't, so that I could have tasted his natural taste. But this wasn't bad either. I reached up to grab his hair, letting my fingers run through his wet, black locks, as my other hand placed itself on his waist. He was so soft, even though he was muscular. It was strange, but I kind of liked that about him. It was just like his personality after all – he acted all cold and tough sometimes, but in moments like this, he could be so sweet and thoughtful towards me. It made me feel special, somehow.

Levi wasn't going to let it stay so relaxed, though. He tilted his head and pushed his tongue past my lips to force my mouth to open more. I let out a surprised moan into his mouth, but I let him do as he pleased, ravishing the insides of my mouth. I wasn't as experienced in this kind of area, after all. After a minute or so, he pulled away from me, panting lowly from the heated kiss. I was just as much out of breath as he was, and for a moment we were just looking at each other in silence.

Levi was the first one to act. He sat up straight and looked down at me, before he suddenly grabbed my shirt and started pulling it upwards.

"Wh-What... What are you doing?" I asked him, my eyes widening in embarassment. I didn't want to take it off when he was looking at me with those eyes.

It was like he could see right through me, his eyes hungry and dark as he looked at me. Just looking at me like that, I already felt naked.

"I told you, right? I want to see all of you... That includes what is under these clothes of yours." He stated, as if it was the most normal thing to say in the whole world.

God, had he no shame?

I blushed and looked away, as I grabbed the end of my shirt myself, and pulled it over my head. At least like this, I still felt somewhat in control.

Of course, with Levi, I had no control what so ever.

"Tell me something, Eren..." He hummed, as his fingertips teasingly slid over my bare chest. I just barely managed to stop myself from arching my back, but oh god, that gave me shivers down my spine. "What have you and Armin done?"

I furrowed my brows, my excitement immediately disappearing as he mentioned Armin's name.

"Not much. We've only gotten as far, as... Well, you know, you saw it after all..." I muttered, as I stared at his lips instead of his eyes. I wanted to ask what he had done as well, but I didn't have the courage to do so.

"Ohh..." Levi grinned. "I see... So you're basically still a virgin,"

I pouted, and looked away. "Don't tease me, just because you aren't..."

"Who said I was?" Levi raised an eyebrow, and looked at me. My eyes widened and I looked back at him. It was an understatement to say that I was shocked.

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not."

"S-So... So you're also..." I shook my head. I couldn't believe this. "Then how can you be so... so... cool about this?"

Levi just shrugged, as he let his eyes turn to look at my chest where his hands where placed. "I guess I just don't get nervous about this, because it feels so right,"

I blushed heavily. Did he really just say, that it felt right to do it with me? Was that a confession? Somehow, that statement of his gave me more confidence as well though. I grabbed his waist, and pulled him down, so our positions were reversed.

"So I'll be your first as well then... That makes me really happy," I smiled widely. Apparently, that made Levi self-conscious, as he looked away with a blush on his cheeks.

"... Shut up, brat. Don't say weird things,"

"Oh come on! You say embarassing things to me all the time!" I protested loudly.

"Shh! Shut up brat, or we'll end up waking the others!" Levi scolded me and slapped me on the back of my head.

I just grinned, and buried my face in his neck as I began to leave small kisses all over his neck. Somehow, seeing Levi get all flustered by my doing, gave me more confidence. And now that our positions were reversed, there wouldn't be anything wrong with taking the power from him, right? I slowly let my fingertips slide over his biceps, feeling his warm, and still slightly damp skin. God, how had he gotten so strong, when he was so small?

I continued, letting my fingers slide over his collar bone and his neck, trying to get a better feeling of his body. I wanted to learn everything about it. I wanted to know every inch of it. Of course, I didn't expect him to wait so long for me. So why wasn't he protesting yet? I pulled my head back to get a look on his face, only to be surprised.

"L-Levi..." I whispered in surprise as I tried catching his eyes. He had turned his head to the side, his mouth open so he could easily let out silent moans and pants, something that I hadn't noticed before. His eyes were closed, and his cheeks were red from his body's excitement. But he immediately reacted as I said his name, turning his head slowly to look back at me.

"Wh-What..?" He panted, failing to try and act like normal. I had never seen him like this. Did he really get so turned on from just being touched, or was it perhaps because it was me who was doing the touching?

I bit my lip, as I considered what do to next.

"I never knew you could look this cute..." I told him with a small smirk, as I started moving my fingertips down over his chest. They grazed his left nipple, feeling how hard it already was. Levi reacted to the touch by arching his back slightly, and gritting his teeth.

"Don't tease me," He grunted, but I chose to just ignore it, and keep going. I let my forefinger circle around the nipple, the circle getting smaller and smaller, before pressing down on the small nipple of his. He let out a groan, and threw his head to the side again, probably to hide his embarassment.

"You sure are sensitive, Levi ..." I whispered with a low chuckle, amused by his cute reactions. I couldn't deny that it was turning me on, though, seeing him like this. And it made me want to mess him up even more. I leaned in to take his right nipple into my mouth, and began sucking on it passionately, all the while I had grabbed the left nipple between two finges and teasing it gently.

Levi was finally letting out his moans louder now, his hands tangling themselves into my hair, desperate for something to hold onto. He started arching his back even more, before starting to rub his hips against mine. My body turned electric from all the friction that was created, until I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let out a moan, my lips buzzing against his sensitive skin, as I grabbed his waist more roughly, holding him down this time so he couldn't move so freely. As a response, he let out a groan, before placing one of his hands over his mouth, to shut himself up. None of us wanted to be too loud, but we were slowly getting too caught up in the moment to truly care … well, I was. Levi still had some sense left, clearly.

"Why do you get to h-have all the fun?" He whispered as he slowly removed his hand from his mouth. I released his nipple from my teeth, and looked up at him.

"Because I'm on top," I chuckled lowly, as if that was such an obvious answer.

"Oi! Who decided that?" Levi squinted his eyes, staring up at me, and for a moment we both stopped moment.

"What do you mean...?" I asked, slightly confused at the sudden change in the mood. Had I done something wrong? I mean, I was the one on top right now, so what I said wasn't a lie.

"What I mean is that I'm the one supposed to be on top." He growled stubbornly at me. I furrowed my brows, until I slowly realised what he meant.

"Wh-What?! I'm not going to take it up my ass!" I refused immediately, shocked that he would even mention it.

"And you think that I am?" Levi crossed his arms, and sent me a stern look. It didn't seem like any of us was going to budge on this matter. I pushed myself up in a sitting position, and he did the same, so we could look at each other a little better.

"Then... If both of us wants to be on top, then... We can't do it …?" I mumbled, looking at him with a puzzled look. I hadn't seen this coming at all. Did this mean, that we couldn't go any further than this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, oh my .... Let me hear your guesses.... Who's topping?
> 
> BY THE WAY, THIS IS IMPORTANT!  
> I love RPs, and I'm craving some new people to RP with.... Are anyone interested in writing smutty ereri fanfiction roleplaying with me, then please add me on KIK! My name is "Danishartist".


	23. Becoming Lost in Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of smut.

Levi let out a soft sigh, before rubbing his temples.

"Alright, alright... How about we make a deal?"

My head perked up immediately, looking at him with wide eyes.

"A deal?"

"Yeah, a deal. If I... Oh my god, I can't believe I'm saying this..." Levi mumbled to himself, before continuing, "If you agree to be the bottom this time... Then next time, we switch, okay? Then both of us try being top, and then we can take it from there. Maybe one of us will have a change of heart about being bottom, after we try it?"

I didn't really like the idea, but it kinda made sense. And this way, it was fair.

"Alright," I said hesitantly, which created a clear smirk on Levi's face as he looked at me with eyes filled with lust. He grabbed my hips, trying to tackle me down onto the bed, though I was quick to stop him.

"Hey! I didn't say that you could just..." I hesitated, before looking away. "I'm going to be on top, okay? J-Just... Let me do the work." He looked like he wasn't quite sure what I meant, but I wasn't going to discuss it with him now. So he did as I wanted, and stayed down on his back, looking up at me as I bit my lip nervously. I took a deep breath, before pulling down my boxers, and crawling on top of him. Even though it was dark, my eyes had adjusted, and as I looked down at him, I had a clear view of his naked body. Everything was visible to me, and oh my god, it looked delicious. It was large, just as I had imagined, and perhaps even bigger than mine. I wanted to lick it so badly, but it seemed like he wasn't going to let me do that to him just yet. He stared at me in complete silence, as I lifted two fingers up to my mouth, and began sucking on them, looking as lewd as ever. I was clearly embarassed to let him see me like this, but he didn't care. His eyes told me that he wanted to see everything I did.

As I finished coaxing my fingers, I lifted up my hips and leaned over him, so my body was hovering a few centimeters from his. I held my breath as we became face to face, unsure of how it would feel with those fingers of mine. I was about to realise, though, as I let out a high-pitched mewl when my fingers entered.

"A-Ah! F-Fuck, it hurts!" I whined, and he immediately reached over to place his hands on my hips, stroking my skin gently to try and ease my body a little. Seconds turned into minutes, before I finally pulled my fingers out, at this point gasping and panting heavily.

"Ugh, I really don't want to do this..." I mumbled with a frown, to which he pouted.

"Wow, thanks for setting the mood,"

"You would say the same thing, if you were in my position," I reprimanded, to which he tensed up to the thought. He knew I was right.

"This is bullshit... I never thought I would bottom," I went on with a sigh, before pushing in my fingers again. I couldn't see my own face, but I knew I had a pained expression painted all over it and that Levi noticed that.

"H-Hey.. Let me do it," He asked me, before reaching over to grab my wrist and pull my hand away from my entrance. I let him without much protest, instead placing my hands at the sides of his head, hovering over him. I had already lifted up my hips, so it was easy for him to reach behind and let his fingers slide down between my cheeks. I shivered by his gentle movements and touch. His other hand slid back there as well, grabbing one of my cheeks and pulling it slightly away, just to expose my entrance more. He was just about to push in his fingers, when he remembered how I had licked my fingers first. His free hand came back up to our faces, his two fingers placing themselves right at my mouth, as he looked at me.

"Suck them,"

I let out a weak protest, though it was a sound that we both knew would not matter in the end. I surrendered too easily to him, opening my mouth and succumb to his fingers as they pushed themselves inside, and I was left with working both lips and mouth in order to properly wet them with my saliva. I wanted to seem sexy in his eyes, to please him, so I sucked on his fingers, just as I would have if they were something else of his. Something bigger... More tasty. More of my liking.

"Good boy," He purred as if I was a little boy, to which I sent him an annoyed look and pulled away from his fingers.  
"I am not your servant, shorty," I reprimanded him, to which he just grinned.

"In this scenario, Jaeger, you certainly seem to be... After all, in this moment you are servicing me, are you not?" He asked me in a sweet tone, before thrusting his wet fingers inside of me, forcing a loud whine from my lips. My whole body moved forward, and I grabbed his shoulders to stop myself from being pushed so easily.

"F-Fuck you..." I panted heavily, before wincing in a mix of pain and pleasure as he thrusted his fingers deep inside of me once more.

"Ah, I believe it's quite the contrary... It's not me who's being fucked tonight," He grinned teasingly. I was just about to open my mouth to come with another remark, but his fingers were making me lose my words in whimpers and moans, as he fucked me with them. All I could do was just to hold on to his shoulders and try to keep the sounds muffled by pressing my face against his neck. Since his thrusts were hard and rough enough to make my body rock forwards and backwards consistently, it was impossible for me not to grind my hips against his, giving him some form of pleasure as well. And the friction that came from that... Oh god, it was indescribable. Feeling all of this, while also feeling Levi's warm breath on my cheek and ear, as I could hear him pant heavily from the pleasure as well, made me release way too early. I stopped a scream from coming out by biting down into his neck, while I emptied myself on his lower stomach. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably as I clung to him, and I could soon feel his arms around me in an attempt to calm me down.

"... You okay?" Levi whispered into my ear, almost a whole minute after I had come.

"Absolutely not," I groaned back at him, before pushing myself away from his embrace so that I would sit up with a straightened back. "Ugh, I'm dirty..." I pouted as I looked down at myself. Being so close against Levi had made me get some of my own semen onto my stomach, making both of us a mess. "Come on... We should clean this up ..." I muttered, as I started moving away from him. I didn't get far though, as Levi grabbed my thighs and pulled me down, before moving on top of me.

"What do you think you're doing? We aren't done yet..." Levi said, looking amused as if I had just said a joke.

"Wh-What? But I came! You fucked me plenty, now let me go take a sh-"

"I fucked you plenty?" Levi interrupted me with a raised eyebrow. "Oh sweet, naïve little Eren... The fun has just started."

I looked at him with widened eyes as he grabbed my member and began stroking it again. I let out a low moan, though it was not by choice. My whole body was overstimulated, and I was not ready for this kind of pleasure again so soon. I tried moving yet again, but Levi's other hand just pushed me down again, reminding me once more not to judge a man's strength by his size.

"L-Levi, please..." I whimpered weakly, trying my best to stop my hips from moving in sync with his hand to match the strokes. "I can't take any more..." I lied, hoping that he would take pity on me. Or at least stop to rethink, so that I could take him by surprise and try to escape. But truth was that I was just frightened by the thought of his large cock to enter me. It was impossible... And even if it were possible to enter me, it would probably hurt as hell. And I refused to go shit in a bag for the next month.

"You can take more than you think... Just relax," Levi whispered, as he leaned over me to leave a surprisingly gentle kiss on my lips. I looked up at him in astonishment, before pressing my lips together. "Don't be afraid... I've prepared you plenty. And we'll shower once we're done." He assured me with a small smile, as he saw the fright in my eyes. "Besides, you should remember that if you don't want me to enter you, you can't enter me next time..." He added with a small smirk, before pressing his lips against my neck, leaving small kisses love marks all over. I shivered from the feelings that it gave me, before nodding reluctantly.

"F-Fine..." I whined lowly, before pushing him back a bit. This allowed him to watch closely, as I spread my legs for him, revealing all there was to see of me. I looked away in embarassment, only to look back a few seconds later as I felt his touch all over me. He was kissing his way down my inner thigh, and once he reached the middle, he let his tongue run over my balls, forcing several moans out of me. My thighs shook in the pleasure, as he moved further down, licking me all the way down to my entrance, before letting it circle around the sensitive hole. I couldn't help but to look, and at the same time be ashamed of the feelings that were rising within me... Lust. I realised that I actually liked the attention that he was giving my body... The fact that he was taking such gentle measures to make sure that I was feeling pleasure. It made me excited to think that right now he was viewing my most private place, a place that only he was allowed to enter.  
But most of all, it made me excited to feel the clear lust that he felt towards me. I could feel it, as if they were vibrations in the air, hitting me in the stomach to make me feel breathless.

And just at that moment, his touch was gone. I looked down to see what he was doing now, only to stare at his member. He had gotten up on his knees, stroking his own member right in front of me... And looking at me with those grey eyes of his, that could spike even my heart. Was he getting just as excited as I already was? Staring down at me with those eyes, eyes that looked like they were filled with an odd mix of love and lust. As if he himself was still unsure whether to fuck me like I was just a mere sex object to him, or to make love to me like the lovers we were.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind either of those options at this moment. I just wanted him.

"Come on..." I whispered as our eyes met. I just wanted the waiting to be over. I wanted to see if it was what I had imagined, an act filled with pain … or pleasure.

"As you wish, love.." He hummed, as he moved down to hover over me once more. But this time, we were much closer. Every time we breathed, upper bodies were pressed together, and I could feel his cock slide in between my cheeks, sliding over the sensitive skin that he had just been licking. I reached up to place my hands on his biceps and hold on tightly, as our eyes were locked together. His eyes were piercing through mine, and I would never dream of looking away. This way, we were so close … and not just in the physical way. I could feel the love radiating from body to body, and when he finally entered me, all I could think was, "Now we're finally one."

And then I let out a high-pitched groan as the pain tore through me, and I pushed my head back into the pillow. Levi did not stop though, and even though I wanted him to stop, I also knew that it wouldn't help to stop. I needed to adjust.

But his thrusts were at a slow and gentle pace, while he was focusing on kissing my pain away by pressing his lips against my slightly damp skin. I didn't have even one coherent thought left in my mind, all I could do was to mewl and moan and whine, as if I had been reduced to an animal in heat.

"Relax... Breathe, Eren." Levi whispered in my ear, pulling me back from my pained ecstasy.

"L-Levi... L-Levi, f-fuck..." I whimpered as I looked at him, before taking a deep breath. "K-Keep... Keep going, p-please..." I managed to whisper, before lifting my legs and wrapping them around his waist. I pushed my heels against his lower back, forcing him deeper inside of me, before letting out another moan.

This wasn't something I wanted to reveal to Levi, but I was starting to enjoy it. And even though I didn't want to say it, it was clear all over my face for him to see.

"Well well well, aren't you acting like a good little subordinate..." Levi purred with a small smirk, before suddenly starting to move much more quickly, and much more roughly. He pushed his lips against mine, to immediately muffle any moans that might escape my mouth, in a passionate kiss that soon turned into more. He pushed his tongue inside, letting his and mine dance sinfully together, as he fucked me hard and passionately at the same time.

My hands got themselves entangled in his hair as I began chanting his name over and over against his lips, as I reached climax fast.

"Soon, fuck, I'll come soon..." Levi groaned heavily, and I could feel him sweating just as I was. We were lost in the pleasure, and when we both released, we became lost in the high as well.

We became lost in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back with another chapter. You guys have probably wondered where I've been, so let me just say this.... I've been passing my final exams, and before that I just wasn't in the mood to write smut.
> 
> Oh well, I hope you liked it. I was planning to make this chapter Top!Eren at first, but then there was one comment telling me that I had made tags that said "Top!Levi" and "Bottom!Eren", and that is true. That was what my plans were at the very beginning of this fanfic.  
> EDIT: I've read your comments, and I have to say that I agree with you on the fact that I've set a certain tone for this fanfic, that it'd be Top Levi and Bottom Eren. I have been writing this fanfic for over a year, and I think I've become a stranger to my own story. This was also why I've been considering stopping this fanfic, and leave it incomplete.   
> But I will also admit that I don't want to let you, my readers, down and I would do that if I changed the seme/uke relationship, and if I left the story unfinished.  
> I'll do my best to honor the story until it is completed.
> 
> The last I will mention here, is to a specific person. Someone who wrote to me after seeing that I was looking for a new RP partner. We became good friends, and now ... Now she has disappeared, and I can't get in touch with her.  
> So, Hannah, if you're reading this, please contact me. I miss you so much, and I can't stop wondering what have happened to you... Please write to me. My kik name is still Danishartist, so you know where to write.  
> I really hope that you are okay. I miss you.


	24. Friends or Foes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, my loves. Christmas came early this year.

"Good morning you two," Carla said, sending us the usual warm and gentle smile as we walked inside the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Good morning mom," I muttered quietly, flinching slightly as I sat down. God, my ass hurt. It was so painful to sit on a chair, I just wanted to curl up in my bed until the pain was over.

"Good morning Carla," Levi replied, though he couldn't help but grin when he looked over at me, seeing how uncomfortable I was. I just sent him an evil glare, before taking a few pancakes over on my plate, before showering them with syrup.

"Oi, careful. You don't want to get chubby, do you?" Levi said teasingly as he poked my stomach gently. I flinched yet again, before blushing and shoving his fingers away.

"Don't touch me," I growled at him, though I didn't sound as stern as I wanted to. We were already sitting too close to each other, and if he started touching me... Bad things would happen. It felt like I had so much more sexual appetite after losing my virginity, and even though my ass hurt like hell, I still wanted to throw myself over him if I got the chance.

This wasn't one of those times though, as my mom was present, looking at us with soft eyes.  
"So what are you boys planning to do today? It's such lovely weather..." She asked, as she went over to the sink to start cleaning some of the dirty plates and bowls.

"Probably gonna play some Xbox.." I shrugged, not really in the mood to go out and move around too much. I just wanted to lay down and do nothing.

"Well, your father and I are going down to the beach, and Mikasa is going over to Annie's place. So you'll have the whole house to yourselves..." She paused as she turned around, looking at us with a hint of worry in her eyes. "Are you boys going to be okay, being here by yourselves?"

I could hear a snicker come from my right side where Levi was sitting, so low that it would be impossible for my mom to hear it.

However, I still decided to kick him under the table.

"Of course mom." I said, sending her a reassuring smile. "We'll, um, try to be nice to each other,"

"Don't worry mrs. Jaeger, I'll be sure to be real sweet towards Eren," Levi said as he turned his head to look at me with such eyes that turned me on right on the spot. I couldn't believe I was growing a boner right in front of my own mom, but the way he was looking at me almost made me shiver. He looked like he wanted to eat me right here and now.

I quickly turned my face away from him, focusing on my breakfast for the rest of the time.

It took them almost two hours to get ready to leave the house. Mikasa had left right after breakfast, but my parents were slower. I had placed myself in the living room, spending the time on playing games, just as I said that I was going to do.

There was just no way that I would be able to be upstairs when Levi was up there at the same time. Especially since I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. And the only thing that would happen, would be that I would throw myself over him, and then my mom or dad would suddenly come inside to say that they were leaving, but then seeing us instead.

It would just be so … cliché.

So I stayed put until I heard the door slam out in the entrance, the sign that they had left. I held my breath for a moment, before turning my head towards the TV once more. I was playing Assassin's Creed as always, my favorite game. Sneaking up behind civilians and slaughtering them, before fleeting the scene and run away on the roof. I just didn't want to other with the assignments anymore, and seeing how many I could kill just seemed more fun.

"Seems like you have some interesting skills, Eren." A voice purred close to my ear. I could feel how my heart skipped a beat, as I slowly turned my head to the side, only to look into those familiar grey eyes that could mesmerize the shit out of me.

"Y-You wanna try?" I stuttered awkwardly as I handed him the controller. He had caught me off guard for sure, which had probably been something he had planned on doing. He liked teasing me like this apparently.

"I'd rather watch you," He hummed with a smirk, before sliding his fingers over my neck, giving me chills. I turned my head back to the screen, trying so hard to concentrate on the game, but this time I couldn't. Levi's presence always made me feel on edge, and this time was no different. Secondly, the way he was caressing my neck so sensually made it seem like he wasn't really interested in watching me play.

That thought made me stop playing and look over at him once more. He was leaning over the couch behind me, one arm around me, his face already facing me. Had he been staring at me all this time?

"Wh-What... What are you doing?" I asked him in confusion. He was acting strange today. Well, alright, I was acting strange too, so I couldn't really blame him.  
"Just, you know, chilling.. Whatever," He said, before suddenly grinning. I furrowed my eyebrows, before pausing the game and putting down the controller.

"What are you doing, Levi? You're acting too weird," I asked warily, trying to understand the expression on his face. I couldn't quite figure him out at the moment.

"I'm just being... I don't know, nice?" He shrugged, before standing up properly and walking around the couch, before sitting down beside me and crossing his leg over the other.

I stared at him for a moment, before snickering lowly.

"Levi, stop trying to act nice... It doesn't suit you. You're just creeping me out," I laughed, before moving closer to him. "I like you for who you are, so stop trying to act differently, idiot." I smiled as I shook my head. Levi furrowed his brows as he took in my words, before a small smile crept over his lips.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?"

"Idiot," I repeated, giving his shoulder a nudge, before grabbing it as I leaned forward to place my lips on his. It was a short one, but I savored every last moment of it before he pulled back.

"Oh, I almost to tell you.." He looked at me, the corner of his mouth turning upwards in a small smirk. "Thanks for last night." He hummed, before placing a hand on my upper thigh. "How is your ass feeling today?"

I groaned at him, rolling my eyes in immediate annoyance.

"It hurts like hell, thank you very much!"

"Well, when do you think it will stop hurting?" He asked, completely indifferent about my sarcasm. "I would very much like to know when we can do it again..." He said, his voice much lower and deeper now, as he looked at me with those eyes. Eyes that meant that he was undressing me in his mind. I blushed heavily, before looking away.

"W-Well, I guess it doesn't really hurt that bad..." I mumbled shyly. If he truly wanted to, I wouldn't think that I'd say no if he was going to start making moves on me, right here and now. Because even though it hurt, my body still wanted more. That much was clear, since my heart was already beating faster just by thinking about it.

"Oh? Two seconds ago you said that it hurt like hell? Doesn't sound like you can make up your mind,"

He was teasing me, I could clearly hear it on the tone of his voice. Damn him, and all of his sexiness.

"Or maybe it's because your body is already longing for more, hmm?" He continued, as his hand slid further up my thigh. I shivered slightly, before looking down at his hand.

"D-Don't tease me, Levi..." I whispered, before looking up at him with large eyes. If he kept doing that, and talking like that, I would get so hot for him, and this was not the place for that. "Someone could come in at any second,"

Yes, the living room was indeed facing the entrance, so that if someone was to open the door and take just a step inside, they would immediately spot us if they looked to the right. And I wasn't going to risk that, no way.

"Then let's take this to the bedroom," Levi hummed in my ear as he began tangling his fingers in the back of my hair, playing with my brown locks. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to do the math in my head, while I was still at my wits end. Mom and dad would be at the beach until dinner time, so that gave us at least four or five hours. But what about Mikasa? When would she -

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts, as a loud ding dong ran through the house. I pulled away from Levi, although he still had a tight grip on my hips.

"Don't answer it," He pleaded lowly, almost too quiet, before pressing his lips against my collarbone. Why did he sound like that? Why couldn't I just see who it was, and then come back to him? I looked down at him, waiting for him to look up at me as well, but it didn't seem like he was going to. Was he embarassed? I wasn't sure.

"Levi, come on, let go..." I muttered, as I placed my hands on his, trying to get him to release his grip on me. He tightened his grip for a few seconds, before slowly loosening it and then completely letting go. I looked at him for a second, baffled over his behaviour. What was going on with him, he usually kept his cool around me, but he seemed so … Vulnerable.

Well, I guess I could just ask him after checking the door. I stood up quickly, taking a deep breath to calm my body down, before walking to the entrance and opening the door.

No.

No, not today. Not right now.

I looked at him, even more baffled than before. Hadn't he made my life difficult enough already? I was over this already.

"I'm not in the mood for fighting," I said immediately, not even worrying about the common pleasantries in the beginnings of conversations.

"No, Eren, wait-" Armin almost yelled as he grabbed the door that I was about to close in his face. "Please, let me just … say what I came here to say," He begged, looking at me with those eyes that I just couldn't resist. I let out a low sigh, before slowly opening the door yet again.

"Alright, step back," I grunted, before looking behind me. I looked into the living room, making sure that Levi couldn't see us from where we were standing.

He couldn't.

A strange feeling occurred in my stomach, making uncomfortable knots as I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. It almost felt like I was feeling … Guilty. But I had nothing to be feeling bad about. Just talking to Armin shouldn't make me feel this way, but the way that Levi had acted inside … It was like I was wasting time on Armin that I should actually be spending with Levi.

Once again, the feud with Armin was interfering with my relationship with Levi – or, well, at least the relationship we were trying to build. That was kinda hard though, when we were getting interrupted all. The. Fucking. Time.

"What do you want?" I asked, my tone a bit too harsh, even for my own taste.

Armin looked at me with a slightly hurt look, before looking down at his hands that was fumbling with the end of his shirt.

"W-Well, um … I just wanted to tell you that, um … That I've been thinking a lot, a-and..." He looked to the side hastily, before slowly looking back at me. "I just wanted to tell you that I've forgiven you, and I want to apologize to you for acting so mean the last couple of weeks.." He bit his lip, looking at me expectantly.

I wanted to tell him that I was over it, that I didn't need his forgiveness. I didn't need his apologies. All I needed right know was Levi's dick inside of me, doing things that – … okay okay, maybe I didn't want to tell him exactly that.

"I accept your apology," I said curtly, before taking a step back, hinting that I was going to go back inside.

"E-Eren, I-" Armin didn't finish his sentence, instead he decided to grab my arm to stop me from moving any further away from him. I turned back to face him, furrowing my brows.

"What, Armin? Do you really expect everything to go back to where we were before all of this, just beause you apologize? No way, no-fucking-way Armin," I growled. "Maybe we could have stayed friends if you had just accepted my apologize from the get-go, then maybe it wouldn't be like this. And I understand that you were angry Armin, I truly do, but now? Now it's too late. Don't treat me like a complete pig, and then come to my home and seek forgiveness!" I said, slowly raising my voice throughout the speech.

"Excuse me?" Armin stared at me for a moment, apparently in shock, before studdenly pushing me away. "Wasn't it you who treated me like an idiot, then showing up and seeking forgiveness? We're in the same boat here!"

"Well, then you probably shouldn't expect me to forgive you, just like you wouldn't forgive me!" I yelled out, before giving him a push as well, sending him a few meters back. He was still as light as ever.

Armin stared at me for a moment, completely astonished that I had actually pushed him. And then … Then the worst thing imaginable happened.

He began to cry.

Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, and before I knew it, he sat down on the steps that led to the door and covered his face with his hands. I stood there for a long moment, not sure what to do, but at least my anger had completely disappeared. And now I was just left with an empty feeling in my stomach, as if, yet again, I was feeling guilty.

"Armin..." I muttered, before sitting down beside him, placing a hand on his back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that..." I looked at him, but he wasn't moving even an inch. What was up with people not wanting to look at me today? "Armin, I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't hurt your feelings, or been so cruel. I loved you Armin, I just wish that I had understood that love is different in so many ways, and it just wasn't the romantic kind of love. I know that isn't something that you want to hear, but … I still love you though. As my friend," I took a deep breath, before looking at him again. This time his head was lifted, and he was staring at me with tear-filled eyes.

"I don't want to lose you, Eren." He whispered. "I'm sorry I've been a jerk, but you have to understand that it's really hard to hear that someone that you've been with for so long, tells you that they never truly loved you..." He whispered, before wiping his tears away from his cheeks. I nodded, understanding what he was saying. Of course I understood the pain he must have had gone through.

"I just wish that we could go back to the way that everything were before..." He sighed, before standing up again. "But I understand if you don't want that. I also know that we can't just pretend like nothing has happened ..." His voice trailed off as he looked at me, as if he was expecting me to stop him and tell him that he was wrong.

"We can't pretend... But we can move past it. I guess we can try being friends again, if that is something you want?" Was this really happening? Were we finally settling this fight, and walking away from the tiresome drama?

Armin nodded as a big smile formed on his lips, before throwing his arms around my neck and burying his face in my shirt. I awkwardly stood there for a moment, before letting myself indulge and wrap my arms around him as well. And for a moment we just stood there, enjoying the few seconds where none of us had to think or talk or do. We could just stand there, holding each other and know that everything was eventually going to be alright.

"Eren, c-can... Can I ask for something?" Armin stammered as we slowly pulled away from each other. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment, before nodding.  
"Sure, what is it?"

"W-Well, I was wondering … we never got a proper closure. And after everything that happened that weekend in the holiday house … It was just so messy. I-I just, I mean, I just want to do it right. I want to say goodbye to everything we had together ..." He looked down, a faint pink blush appearing on his cheeks.

" … What are you trying to say, Armin?" I couldn't understand what he was trying to make out of those sentences. What kind of closure?

"A kiss. For the sake of closure, I-I … I want one last kiss. I don't think I can ever get over you, if I don't put these thoughts to rest, and-" He was starting to stumble over his own words, and it seemed like he just kept talking out of sheer embarassment. "- I don't even remember the last time we kissed, and I want that memory, Eren, that's a -"

Armin's eyes widened as I shut him up with my lips pressing against his. I grabbed his neck, pulling him close for a few seconds, before just as quickly stepping away from him again. Armin let out a heavy pant, completely shocked.

"That's something to remember," I told him with a grin, before scratching my neck awkwardly. "Now, can we never speak of what just happened, and just... Talk normally, like normal friends?"

Armin let out a nervous chuckle as he covered his mouth and nodded.

"Y-Yeah, we can do that... I'll see you on Monday?"

I sent him a nod and a smile, before turning around and hurrying inside again. As I closed the door, it felt like I was taking a proper breath for the first time in those last ten minutes.

"Holy crap ..." I breathed out, staring down at my hands. I couldn't believe what had just happened, everything had went by so damn fast. Had I just become friends with Armin again? And more importantly, had I just kissed him? And what about-

I looked up, my trail of thought stopped as my eyes were caught in Levi's.

Fuck … Levi. I had forgot all about him.

"H-Hey, um … D-Did you...?"

"Yes, Eren." He said coldly. "I saw everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been gone for several months, and I'm sorry. I've promised both you guys and myself that I'd finish this story, so damn it, I am!   
> Well anyways, I got a girlfriend (she's pretty much the reason why I haven't updated the story, as she's been taking up all my time, haha) and everything's gooooood, so I just wanna tell you all that I'm happy, and I hope that you guys are too!
> 
> So ... I hope you guys have a good Christmas and a great New Year!


	25. The End Has Come

Chapter 25

"Are you fucking kidding me, Eren?" Levi hissed, before walking over to stand right in front of me. He grabbed my collar tightly, pulling me even closer. " _Are you fucking kidding me_?!"

I let out a forced cough, before placing my hands around his to try loosening his grip. He seemed determined not to let go, so I ended up just looking into his eyes, silently pleading him to let go of me instead.

He looked mad as hell.

"Levi, it's not what it looks like!" I tried explaining myself, but it was hard to focus on my own words, when I was trying just to breathe properly. "J-Just let go, and I'll e-explain everything!"

Levi looked at me through squinted eyes, eyeing me for a few seconds, before finally letting go. God, how could he be so strong? I was too amazed at first to gather my thoughts properly, but then I pulled myself together.

"Armin... He just wanted to apologize, a-and he wanted closure, s-so..." I looked away, feeling guilty about my own words. "So I kissed him to give him... Closure... I'm serious, it didn't mean anything on my part! It was just to lay all of this drama to rest! Please Levi ..." I didn't know why I pleaded him at the end, perhaps I just wanted him to believe me. I didn't want him to hate me for some stupid misunderstanding.

"I told you not to answer the door … I told you not to go, dammit!" Levi yelled, hammering his fist into the dresser that was standing out in the entrance, before taking a deep breath. He stared at his fist for a moment, before loosening his hand and instead bringing it up to rub his forehead with a sigh.

"I told you to stay …"

I swallowed a lump in my throat, feeling absolutely horrible about seeing him like this. Clearly this was a bigger deal than I had first anticipated.

"Levi, I don't love him anymore. I've already told you that! I never cared for him, n-not the same way that I now care for.." I muttered, not able to say that last word. I took a deep breath, before taking a step forward as I grabbed a hold of his shirt with a shaking hand. Would he just slap it away, and turn his back on me? I held my breath for the first few seconds, waiting to see what he would do, but he didn't move. He just stared down into the ground, still having his hand on his forehead to cover up his eyes.

"That kiss was like a symbol … It symbolizes the end of our relationship. If anything, you should see it as a good thing, because now I'll have no ties with him anymore. I'm done with the drama, and -"

"Stop, Eren, you aren't fucking done with the drama. You are the drama," Levi said in a low tone, before slowly looking up to stare at me. "Drama is everywhere around you, it's almost as if you fucking enjoy it. Do you find it entertaining to be the center of attention, huh?" He stared into my eyes as he said those cruel words. I was at a loss for words at first, but then I realised that I didn't have to say anything at all to truly answer him.

_Slam._

Levi stared at me in shock, as he slowly reached up to cover up his cheek with his hand, the cheek that slowly was turning bloody red after the impact with my hand. I had slapped him, and he hadn't seen it coming. None of us had, and for a moment we just stared at each other in complete shock.

And then something even more unexpecting happened.

I stared into his eyes that had started watering, slowly filling the corners of his eyes up until they bursted out and started running down his cheeks.

I couldn't even blink. I just stared at him, unable to move, or speak, or anything. This was something I thought I'd never see. He reached up to his face with a confused look, touching the cheek as if he didn't understand it as well.

I tried reaching out for him slowly, an apologetic gesture, but he automatically slapped it away, before quickly coming bac to his senses.

"You're nothing but trouble, Jaeger." He hissed at me angrily, though with a croaked voice underneath the fiery tone. "Don't expect me to put up with your shit anymore,"

And with those last words, he turned around, hurrying out the door and slamming it behind him.

I just stood there for a few seconds, before finally leaning back against the wall and sliding down it until I hit the ground.

So that was how it was going to be, huh? Gaining back my best friend, but at the cost of love? God, I just couldn't do anything right.

I buried my face in my hand, trying to take in deep, slow breaths as my thoughts ran wild. Should I not have kissed Armin? Was it stupid of me to try to mend our broken relationship with a last kiss, or was Levi in the wrong, just assuming that I'd betray him?

Of course, I understood that seeing something like that while not being able to hear our conversation could create some paranoia. But I had explained it to him, and he refused to see reason anyway – could it then truly be my fault?

I sighed heavily. I shouldn't be creating excuses for myself in the first place – I just didn't want his words to be true … That I was a dramaqueen. Because I wasn't … Right?

It wasn't my fault that all this shit kept happening around me. I wasn't to blame, I _couldn't_ be …

I could feel the tears unfold as my eyesight started to get blurry, and I quickly blinked to push them down my cheeks instead.

It all started when I realised that I didn't truly love Armin. That's when shit started to hit the fan. That's when everything went wrong. If I had been content in our relationship, then I wouldn't have to look for something else, for something more … I wouldn't have set my eyes on Levi the way that I had. There wouldn't have been any sexual tension between us, there would only have been tension. I would still have despised him …

No, that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to sit here and wish for it all to change back to the way things originally were.

If I hadn't started to care for Levi, I would never have truly known him the way I did now. I wouldn't have understood why he did those things to me when we were kids. We would never have kissed, never have slept together… Maybe he would even still be hating me. And I would have hated him. Perhaps he would even have gone back to living on the streets, just to get out of the house again?

I would never know for certain, and I was happy about that. Even with all the stupid drama, I was happy that things had worked out the way it had.

So I now knew what I needed to do.

I needed to apologise.

"Hey! Levi, wait up!" I yelled, and even though he was nowhere to be seen, it still wouldn't be hard to find him. After all, there was only one road that led to the forest... The place where he would most likely want to calm down at. "Levi!"

He was walking down the small, rocky road, and as I finally spotted him, I ran after him as fast as I could.

"Will you just stop already!" I yelled after him as my breath turned into small pants. I finally caught up to him, and the first thing I did was grabbing his shoulder to stop him from going any further.

"Seriously, I just – "

He interrupted me by taking me by surprise, pushing me away roughly only seconds after I had grabbed him.

"Fuck off, Eren." He hissed, looking at me with squinted eyes.

"I need you to understand how sorry I am! Why won't you listen?!"

"Because you fucking … Y-You … " He seemed lost for words, as if he wasn't sure how he was supposed to phrase it.

"Levi," I started out, waiting until he was focusing on me again. "I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have kissed him. I know that drama seems to always find me, and I know that I tend to fuck up a lot of things. But I also know one more thing, and that is that I'm in love with you. I've never felt like this about someone else before, a-and... I just don't want to ruin this..."

Levi's reaction wasn't really what I had imagined. Though then again, I wasn't really sure what I was expecting from him. He just raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, and stared at me as if he was waiting for something. I had already apologised, what more did he want from me?

"You already have," Was his only answer, and this seemed to put my hopes on hold. However, even though his voice was hard and cold, his eyes told a different story. They were looking away, as if he didn't want to face me. As if he wasn't completely sure yet.

So I took a chance.

"I've got _CHIIIIIIIIILLS_ ," I exclaimed, actually startling him to the point where he had to take a step back and look at me properly. I looked into his eyes with an intense look, not backing down anymore. "They're multiplying! And I'm _LOOOOOOOOSING CONTROL_!"

"Jesus Christ Eren, lower your voi-"

"But the _POWEEEEEEER_ you're supplying,-" I interrupted him, before falling to my knees. "Is electryfying …" I almost whispered the last part, before looking up at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue the song.

"I'm not doing this with you," He said stubbornly, his arms still crossed over his chest, as if to protect himself. But instead of answering him, I just kept staring.

"Eren, cut it out, you're just embarassing yourself," He said, but this time his voice was a little softer – I could tell by now.

"No! When I was feeling like crap, you were there for me... You cheered me up and made me smile. I-I'm just trying to do the same with you now!" I exclaimed with a determined look, as I turned my hands into fists. "I care about you Levi, and I don't want my stupidity to ruin our relationship before it even has a chance to turn into something more!"

Levi stared at me in astonishment for a moment, before kneeling down in front of me so that we could look into each other's eyes.

"You're so damn stubborn ..." He growled lowly, before reaching out to place a hand on my shoulder. I sighed heavily, before opening his mouth once more, "You better get up, cause' I need a man... And my heart is set on you," He looked away as he said it, not even trying to sing the melody.

My face cracked open with a huge smile, before I started laughing. And not before long, I threw my arms around him, pulling him close to me. "Thank you," I whispered before sighing in relief.

"You're still an idiot though,"

"I know,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you liked the chapter!
> 
> I know I've been gone for a long time, but I couldn't just leave The Jealousy unfinished.
> 
> Soooo ... As you can guess, this will be the last chapter. I'm planning on writing a shorter fanfic about Levi and Eren (Still working on chapter one though), so if you'd like to stick with me a little while longer, I'll definitely have some new stories out in 2017.
> 
> Thank you all so much for enjoying The Jealousy as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It has been a long journey, but now we've arrived at the end. All your lovely comments have not gone unnoticed, and I'm so grateful that you've wanted to read something that I've created. Thank you for your support and love. It has been an honor.
> 
> Thank you, and goodbye for now <3  
> \- Danishartist

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is wonderful, and it would be so great to hear if you like/dislike this story. I'm writing other fan fictions as well (Inside My Mind and The Band) so you can check those out if you want!  
> The thing that gets a writer going, is knowing that someone out there appreciates the writers work, plus, I love communicating with you guys, so don't be shy!
> 
> Instagram: Ererilove  
> Deviantart: Danishartist  
> Fanfiction.net: Danishartist  
> E-mail adress: ererilove@hotmail.com


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